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Corrupt a Wish

They stop hating you, and instead become creepily infatuated with you, to the extent that you have to move off the grid in a sort of self-imposed witness protection program.


I wish I were an actual hermit. With a small group of close hermit friends, naturally.
 
Granted, but all your hermit friends eventually decide that there's more to life and stop being hermits.

I wish that I can defeat IndieGirl!
 
Your next pay raise amounts to more than all the money ever put into circulation, causing anarchy.

I wish I had more energy.
 
You live on a sailboat, but it sinks in the middle of the ocean and leaves you stranded on some random piece of debris.

I wish I knew about NationStates much longer ago.
 
You become such a powerful KUNG FU ninja that everyone stops what they are doing to come and watch you fight people. Chaos ensues on the world.

I wish I could turn things into diamond.
 
Everything you touch turns to diamonds, and you die of starvation, lonely and sad, in a diamond house with diamond statues that were once everyone you loved.



I wish there was better music on the radio these days.
 
The music you listen to becomes so great that you begin to worship the radio, eventually going insane.

I wish that vegetables tasted like chocolate, but still maintained the healthy stuff.
 
Vegetables all taste like 90% dark chocolate. Thousands of delicious culinary creations around the world are now ruined for most palates.


I wish I could control my dreams all the time.
 
Your wish is granted, but you cannot differentiate between reality and dreams, so you slip into a coma without knowing.

I wish I could bring myself to smile more.
 
You smile so much all the time that it weirds people out and they start avoiding you and asking you if something's wrong.

I wish I didn't have such bad RBF™.
 
(lol I could seriously imagine someone asking me if I was okay because I smiled at them for like half an hour xD)

idk what that is but I wave the magic stick of wish corruption and KAZAM! Ur wish is of corruptness

I wish for infinite posts!
 
Your infinite posts wreak havoc on the forum code and it crashes, unrecoverably. You unwittingly become the greatest foe of The North Pacific in its entire history.


I wish I'd come back in January before DD retired.
 
Here, you have a cookie. It's great, you devour the whole thing, only to find out at the last bite that there was poop in it.


I wish I could choose to never interact with clients on the phone. They're always the worst behaved on the phone.
 
Granted! You're given the option to quit your job immediately, never having to interact with clients on the phone or a "promotion" to a position that only deals with people on the phone and pays less.

I wish I hadn't stopped practicing violin ages ago.
 
You didn't stop practicing the violin, you started practicing the bagpipes instead. You practised so long that the bagpipes have become an integral part of your being, and are now the only way you can communicate. Or try to.


I wish I were the most badass female bassist since Kim Deal.
 
Your thoughts get a little weird and you end up getting some seriously concerned stares from the public.

I wish I could see the world.
 
It is filled with space butterflies, but also space bats, which eat the space butterflies and are kind of huge and terrifying.


I wish I had the power to refill things at will.
 
You refill everyone's free drinks almost instantly, causing major confusion and hysteria.

I wish I knew how to see into the future.
 
Granted! You are suddenly blessed with the ability to see into the future, what awaits humanity, your friends, and yourself. In fact, you see that you have an inescapable death in about 17 minutes after you're granted the ability.

I wish David Bowie was still alive.
 
Your wish is granted. He is restored to life, but he is but a shadow of what he once was, and his musical genius is forever forgotten by humanity.

I wish I could have five day weekends.
 
Granted, but you're asleep for all of those days meaning you cannot do anything on them.

I wish for less wind outside.
 
Granted! There is very little wind. There is also an incessant amount of snow.

I wish to reach 6,500 forum posts before I leave for my summer job.
 
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