Corrupt a Wish

Lennart

Lennart

TNPer
Ok, you may be familiar with this from NS forums, it's pretty simple: you have to grant the wish of the above person but with a catch.

Example: Person X says, "I wish for world peace" Person Y responds with, "Granted, but wars continue in off-world space colonies" Which is followed by their own wish, of course. And so on.

I will start:

I wish for 1,000,000 €
 
You receive that amount only it is in trillions of little pieces and you must put it back together before you can use it.

I wish I didn't have a sore throat :|
 
Granted, but you will have to pick the person who next gets a sore throat.

I wish I didn't have to work on Saturdays.
 
Granted, but your neighbors will keep you up all night tomorrow.

I wish students would appreciate history more.
 
Granted. Your sore throat is cured by an extremely rare bacteria that's lethal for every human but you, so you can never kiss anyone again :(

I wish Pierce to be a full time character again in Community in season 5.
 
Granted. He acts completely differently to your previous expectations of the character, having a sex change and then being murdered in a shoot out on a canoe.

I wish that the bad weather would go away :\
 
Granted. Unfortunately, the denizens of New Zealand must suffer through the worst weather in decades.

I wish I had a better car.
 
That wouldn't bother me :p You have a better car, but you lose the keys and can't find a replacement :

I wish that I didn't have to go to University tonight :)
 
Granted. You're going to jail instead, arrested by error because you look like a local rapist.

I wish Marihuana was absolutely legal and sold in stores at a good price
 
Granted, but your holiday is hijacked by sea-faring pirates that hold you for ransom.

I wish I was a morning person.
 
Granted, but your belongings are packed in identical unmarked boxes.

I wish I had better dress shoes.
 
Granted, but now you get silly messages from Mark Zuckerberg instead.

I wish I had more time in the day.
 
Granted. A cataclysm reduces Earth turning speed so it takes a lifetime to get dark.

I wish for a WACOM drawing tablet
 
Granted, but its power supply is exhausted within 7 minutes.

I wish I had an answer for everything.
 
Granted. Now everyone wants to ask you about their weird and violent sexual fantasies

Granted. He acts completely differently to your previous expectations of the character, having a sex change and then being murdered in a shoot out on a canoe.
Click to expand...

Well, definitely, that's something that would happen to Pierce any day.

I wish for a Blue Ranger spandex suit
 
Granted, but you must worship the cheese as per Romanoffia.

I wish I had the money to take a vacation.
 
Done, but it's a house in HOJFTL and the government decides to bull dose it to build a big ass sign saying "BEHOLD YOUR TRUE GOD" with a picture of a terror bird on it.

We do that, k'now. Fuck what the people think, I want more pointless buildings that serve little or no purpose.

In fact, I wish for more pointless buildings that serve little or no purpose. ;)
 
Granted. But the people around you over analyse everything and think that everything is there for a reason, so the buildings start to be given a purpose and the whole purpose of your wish was defeated by purpose.

I wish I didn't procrastinate so much.
 
Done, but it is a half-desk in the fashion of Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory

I wish the winter would come sooner.
 
Done, but when you were playing with it you accidentally killed someone and ended up in jail.

No more sword for you, Lennart.

I wish for a cookie.
 
Granted, but you drop it on the floor and it shatters into pieces

I wish for more beer.
 
Granted. You got plenty of nothing and now you don't know what else could make you happy

I wish for a new phone
 
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