Corrupt a Wish

Granted. The temperatures keep going up & up & up until they hit 65 degrees Celsius and it is too hot to go outside!

I wish that I was more supported at home
 
mcmasterdonia:
Granted. The temperatures keep going up & up & up until they hit 65 degrees Celsius and it is too hot to go outside!

I wish that I was more supported at home
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I dont want to ruin that :hug: so.....um......Granted. And you get all the support you want


I wish i had swedish cheekbones.
 
Granted! You have beautiful Swedish cheekbones. You are also granted no eyebrows, one nostril, and an absurdly large forehead.

I wish I could beat Mario Bros. 3 on the NES.
 
Granted! Unfortunately, your intellect never surpasses that of a 5-year-old either.

I wish that summer was here already.
 
Granted! Unbeknownst to you the exam had been been moved forward to yesterday because of a scheduling conflict and you missed it!

I wish I had some more orange juice.
 
Granted, except now you have to stay up 24 hours straight with no sleep before sleeping off the other half.

I wish that I didn't burn the toast.
 
Granted! The toast isn't burnt, but also contains poisonous bacteria.

I wish Amerion would corrupt a wish instead of kindly granting them :P
 
Granted! You walk in on your parent's having primal ball-slapping sex. The image never leaves your mind.

I wish that "The primal ball-slapping sex your parents are having right now" wasn't a Cards Against Humanity card.
 
Granted! However everything described in the white cards shall happen at least once in your life now.

I wish there was a new op for the NPA as my WA is pathetically waiting for one.
 
Granted. The new OP was made by a team of monkeys. It was not the works of Shakespeare.

I wish that classical music was more popular.
 
Granted! As more and more ice cream is produced the temperature of the world slowly drops more and more. Species die out one by one as ecosystems are destroyed. On Day 122 people become "snowed in" with vanilla ice cream in London, Toronto, New York, Paris, Moscow, and Beijing. By the end of the year the Azores is the last enclave of human life, surviving only by constantly shoveling the ice cream into the Atlantic Ocean. A couple of months later even they are overwhelmed. Human life as we know it ends forever.

I wish that I could win the Last Post is the wINRAR thread.
 
Granted! After many years work you become and admin and close the thread because it ends up being too many pages. You realize you have the last post and rejoice. Unfortunately the servers crash and the thread is lost before anyone can witness your win. No one believes you and a new thread is started.

I wish John Lennon survived his assassination attempt.
 
(Many years.... *cough......)

Granted. Although you soon realise that he has cloned himself a million times and there is now a special island of the of Jamacia named Lennontropolis.

I wish flying cars were real.
 
Granted! They're invented and become the new craze! Air-traffic controllers are instantaneously over-whelmed, drunk-piloting becomes prominent, cars attempt to land everywhere and anywhere and fatality rates of car-accidents around the world nearly (with the addition of the new "Air-Car Accidents" category) quadruples overnight.

I wish I could see Supertamp's Crime Of The Century album performed live.
 
Granted! This will be then aest time they performs og ether a they secretly hate each other's guts.

I wish I didn't have to go back to school tomorrow.
 
Granted! You end up with a mysterious illness in the morning, and call in sick to the school. The illness persists through the rest of the week. On Friday you visit a doctor. The illness is something he's never seen before and it is rapidly weakening your system. Despite being hospitalized and an expert sent from the CDC to try and diagnose you or figure out what the illness is and how to treat it, you pass away by the end of next week. You never have to attend school again.

I wish it was snowing outside.
 
^ :rofl:

Granted. As climate change progresses at an ever increasing rate, world tempretures shoot up and snow is no more. However man has invented a 'snowmakerer' which it uses in all major cities to cool down temperatures. Disastrously, a manufacturing fault causes these machines to malfunction and with the best and brightest humanity has to offer being unable to turn off these machines, the world's cities are consumed by an avalanche of snow, causing hundreds of millions to perish, including yourself.

I wish it was raining.
 
Granted, but instead of a drizzle, your whole city is flooded. :P

I wish that I had some cake right now.
 
Granted. It started last year. Netflix doesn't have it. You try to torrent it. You turn out to be one of 2 people caught torrenting in 2015 (the other was an 85 year-old woman who did it by accident). You are sentenced to 5 years in jail for your clearly heinous and violent crime.

I wish this orange juice was more full.
 
Granted. It's more full of poisonous liquids which you drink, slowly but surely making it through your digestive system, until you are crawling on the ground in agony as your digestive system burns..... And needing to take a piss very badly.

I wish for 1 million wishes!!!
 
Granted, but my wish is for yours not to come true, creating a paradox which destroys the universe.

I wish for Eumenor's wish to not come true.
 
The Spokesman of Eumenor:
Granted, but you accidentally deleted everything and moved it to a different server, making you moderator... of a server of 1.
I wish I had a life.
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Darnit, I replied to Syrixia during your post.

Granted. You are now a zombie.

I wish I could tell when people post while I'm typing a reply.
 
Luckily for me they're still collectibles, so I can sell them for a good amount :P

Granted. Now everybody is singing Johnny Cash.

I wish for 10 pounds of rice.
 
Granted. However, the rice bowl doesn't just have rice in it- it also has some carefully hidden cyanide in it.

I wish that I wish that I wish that I wish that I wish that I wish that lol is lol.
 
Granted. However, because the final clause is a tautology, nothing changes.

I wish for my now cyanide-laden rice to be thrown at random people by Jesus.
 
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