Corrupt a Wish

Granted - Except your lasagna doesn't only cook itself, it also forces you to eat it the rest of your life.

I wish that Z-Day would come already.
 
Granted, to escape paying fees you attend the Royal Military College of Canada and serve 2 years in the Canadian military for the free schooling.

I wish for a new cellphone.
 
Sure. You now have a phone and you are addicted to it.

I wish that the weather would stop being so gloomy at my place.
 
The weather starts to be blisteringly hot. The sun burns everything it touches and you cannot go outside for more than 5 minutes without being burned.

I wish for a cupcake ^_^
 
mcmasterdonia:
You didn't wish for anything!

I wish for a nice cold can of lemonade :)
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I pulled a Tomb! lol


As for the above, granted, but the space ships burns up on re-entry.

I wish that there was more snow on the ground.
 
Granted. There is so much snow on the ground that it buries everything and you remain permanently trapped in your house.

I wish for a relaxing day.
 
Granted, but the next 30 days of your life are the most stressful, frustrating, and generally un-relaxing days possible.

I wish to be better a making puns.
 
Granted, you have so much money in the form of gold coins, that you attempt to jump into a pool of these coins from two stories and die from impact trauma.

I wish to work on a cruise ship some day.
 
Granted, you sign a 20-year contract with a chef so that the chef prepares your every meal. Unfortunately, he's the world's worst chef, he steals money from you, and invites his friends over to get high and drunk in your living room on a regular basis. You didn't read the contract and all this is allowed under it, and you cannot break it because of a $201,000 severance packaged detailed in the contract.

I wish to complete the Assassin's Creed: Unity campaign.
 
Granted. You complete it when you are 84 years old and have accomplished nothing else.

I wish I was more appreciated by those I help in RL.
 
Granted, they all suddenly realize how much you helped them. Upon learning this, they all rush to give you a hug. You die in the subsequent stampede.

I wish to purchase my first car in the next 5 years.
 
Granted. You will own a 1980s VW Beetle, without any wheels or an engine :)

I wish that I didn't feel apprehensive about moving overseas next semester.
 
Granted, your house becomes flooded with lemonade and you nearly drown in it.

I wish to visit South America some day.
 
Granted, you wish for so many things that your Christmas wishlist is 3.14 miles long and "Santa" just gives you a pie instead.

I wish for more enthusiasm towards my schooling.
 
I love pie.

You get so much enthusiasm for schooling that you do not have any enthusiasm for anything else.

I wish for a nice meal for dinner tonight :)
 
Granted! The food is a delicious steak with gourmet sides. Unfortunately, one of the ingredients had gone foul and you suffer from food poisoning.

I wish to have a pantry prepared for a long-term emergency.
 
Granted. Though you have it ill-prepared, which gives you food poisoning and leaves you with very little food to survive on.

I wish that there was less pressure around grades.
 
Sure! You will not have to worry about grades anymore, because you'll be kicked out of school.

I wish that there was a longer day time in the winter.
 
Granted! You now live so far North that day time can last for several days at a time and night time can last for several days at a time. (Or something like that I'm having a random memory blank here.)

I wish I was better at playing violin.
 
Granted! Due to a clerical error the main page on NS says to endorse you as Delegate and for one day you have enough endorsements to be crowned delegate of TNP. The error is corrected the next day and you lose your status.

I wish I had a more regular sleep schedule.
 
Yrkidding:
Granted! Due to a clerical error the main page on NS says to endorse you as Delegate and for one day you have enough endorsements to be crowned delegate of TNP. The error is corrected the next day and you lose your status.

I wish I had a more regular sleep schedule.
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Granted. But you oversleep and you lose your job/fail school

I wish I was rich
 
Granted, and you're gonna be the richest man ever!
For a day, that is, and then your country revolts against you and you die.
 
Andrew:
Syrixia:
Granted, and you're gonna be the richest man ever!
For a day, that is, and then your country revolts against you and you die.
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Thanks.

You forgot to post a wish :P
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Hm...I wish that Kitts stop occupying one of my islands.
 
Granted! You are so poor that you cannot afford to eat or drink clean water. You perish of malnutrition.

I wish to watch this night's episode of The Walking Dead.
 
Granted! Everytime you're put on hold the call is dropped.

I wish that the ending of The Walking Dead had been less predictable.
 
Granted. But then you would never have liked the show at all and wouldn't have watched it. Fans of the Walking Dead only watch it because of it's predictability. You take up watching Gossip Girl instead.

I wish for a delicious chocolate cake :)
 
Granted! Delicious chocolate cake with a sprinkling of mice droppings and cockroach inserts is provided for you instantly. Enjoy.

I wish to keep these warm temperatures for a while longer.
 
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