Corrupt a Wish

Granted. Your wish suddenly remains uncorrupted, and there is no consequence whatsoever to Jesus coming down and flinging rice at people.

I wish the brass part of my hat didn't corrode and stain part of the strap thingy.
 
Yrkidding:
Granted. This event occurs in the United States everyone there now believes in Jesus and, by extension, Christianity most devoutly and fanatically, all fearing the consequences of the sins they have already committed and wishing to atone for them. The world is ushered into a new age of crusades. Chaos ensues.

I wish the brass part of my hat didn't corrode and stain part of the strap thingy.
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I was wondering when someone would finally corrupt my wish. You win rum. :tnprum: :tnprum:

Granted. There is now no brass part of your hat.
 
You're welcome :P Though you made no wish! I'll assume your wish was to have your wish corrupted, and I shall therefore uncorrupt your wish in my post before yours!

I wish it was a little warmer in here.
 
Yrkidding:
You're welcome :P Though you made no wish! I'll assume your wish was to have your wish corrupted, and I shall therefore uncorrupt your wish in my post before yours!

I wish it was a little warmer in here.
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You know, my brain saw two lines in my post and just assumed it was
<wish corrupted here>
<new wish stated here>

Granted, it is now 1 femptokelvin warmer.

I wish I wasn't so absent-minded.
 
Granted. I have no idea what either are, so the letter U is abolished and replaced with the letter A.

I wish to rule the world!
 
Granted. Your life goal becomes to rule the world itself. You work to diplomatically unite the regions and countries of the world until finally, many years and very near to what you predict to be the end of your career in diplomacy, you finally succeed in your goal. The world is united in peace, militaries are abolished as war is seemingly eradicated from Earth for the first time in human history. All is not perfect, police are not evenly divided and, like any other era, not all are in favour of the latest stage of human history, but you've accomplished something no other has managed to do, uniting humans as a brotherhood of man. After 3 years of your rule, greed rears it's ugly head in humanity once again. A power-hungry man rises to power in a region already plagued by nationalism and a low police-force. They declare an uprising using old military weapons secretly stockpiled. The rebellion rises and like a wildfire gains popularity throughout parts of the world and groups that disliked the "World Nation". Poorly armed police-forces are overwhelmed and large tracts of land are gained and split up by the various factions. Finally, rebels rise in the capital and come for the man who brought the world together himself. It is too late for you to evacuate. Your World Guardsmen are defeated and overwhelmed by sheer numbers and hesitation to shoot into the crowds. As a tired old man you sit in your study by the fire having listened to reports of various cities and provinces falling around the world, watching the empire you worked so hard to build crumble around you. Now you listen to the reports of guard posts and defensive positions falling closer and closer to the room your in, and finally shouts as they clear the rooms around you. The fire dies out in front of you. The door crashes open. You're still staring at the small trails of smoke curling away from the embers as they pull the trigger. The world is plunged into the largest civil war it has ever seen. All was for naught.

I wish that there were better movies out today.
 
My God, that was awesome! You should write a book!

Granted. There is no corruption for your wish. You deserve it in full, with no negatives and with your intentions fully read and applied.

I wish my sister would win a lottery with a lump sum payout of at least $800,000. She remains anonymous so no one knows.
 
Granted! Although your sister sons fall in lve with the perfect man on Valentine's day, marries him, he divorces her and takes all the money leaving her heartbroken :'(

I wish I had more time to do stuff.
 
Granted. You are now immortal and witness the deaths of every friend and loved one you ever meet.

I wish everybody could just get along.
 
Granted. Everyone now gets along with eachother except all the animals in the world want you dead.

I wish i had a PS4
 
Helgraf:
Granted. Everyone now gets along with eachother except all the animals in the world want you dead.

I wish i had a PS4
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You get a PS4 but you can only play FIFA on it (and may the gods have mercy on your soul)

I wish I wish I didn't kill that fish.
 
Granted. Somebody else killed it instead.

I wish my TV would pick up the signal from my remote.
 
Wolfsea:
Helgraf:
Granted. Everyone now gets along with eachother except all the animals in the world want you dead.

I wish i had a PS4
Click to expand...
You get a PS4 but you can only play FIFA on it (and may the gods have mercy on your soul)

I wish I wish I didn't kill that fish.
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wait why is fifa bad?
 
Helgraf:
Wolfsea:
Helgraf:
Granted. Everyone now gets along with eachother except all the animals in the world want you dead.

I wish i had a PS4
Click to expand...
You get a PS4 but you can only play FIFA on it (and may the gods have mercy on your soul)

I wish I wish I didn't kill that fish.
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wait why is fifa bad?
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Partly because football is probably the single greatest waste of human time and money since Mithradates decided he didn't want his food with added Hemlock, partly because if you want to play football then why not just do that outside and partly because the money that they sink into the licenses could be spent on other IP's.
 
I wish my TV would pick up the signal from my remote.
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Granted. After your TV failed to pick up the signal from your remote on and off for years you're pretty fed up and annoyed with it. One day you hit the remote against your hand in frustration and hear a *click*. Thinking to yourself "Heh, wouldn't it be something if that worked." You point the remote at the TV and click the next channel button. It works perfectly. "A fluke, surely." you think, and hit the power off button. The TV goes off. You're speechless. You hit the power on button, the TV goes on. For the next 2 minutes you press every button on the remote and they all work perfectly. No more mashing the same button 20 times to try and get it to work, no more getting up, going to the TV, and standing there clicking the button on its' side to browse through channels. You're the happiest person alive. You run to the kitchen with the remote to get your (Pick one: wife, husband, (step) dad, (step) mom, (step) sister, (step) brother, grandfather, grandmother, 2nd cousin twice removed on you're step-sister's grand aunt's ex-wife's side) and show them the good news. As you run to the kitchen where they're standing preparing some food you get their attention. You quickly raise your hand with the remote in it to tell them. Mid-sentence and mid-raising, you lose your grip on the remote. It flies high into the air in your kitchen, nearly touching the ceiling. Seemingly in slow motion, the remote falls from its' height and crashes on the tiled floor below. The battery cover and batteries go flying, the plastic of the remote itself cracks open in the middle and the circuit board within does the same. In silence you stare at the remote and the expression on your face is the saddest it's been in a long time. To have such joy crushed so suddenly is heartbreaking.The other person in the kitchen looks at you like you're crazy.

You gather the remains and mumble to yourself in vain hope, "Maybe it still works?" You return to the room with the TV and press the channel button. Nothing. The remote is destroyed.

Better luck next time!

I wish to get my pilot's license someday.
 
Granted. You will get it at age 100. Unfortunately by then planes are obsolete, and we all use magic carpets.

I wish Australia would change Prime Minister.
 
mcmasterdonia:
Granted. You will get it at age 100. Unfortunately by then planes are obsolete, and we all use magic carpets.

I wish Australia would change Prime Minister.
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Granted but your new Prime Minister decides to paint the country to match the flag. (which BTW is genuinely what UKIP want to do to the UK)

I wish DC Comics would just give up on movies for a few years and come back with a Karl Urban Batman movie.
 
Granted, but [INSERT TERRIBLE ACTOR HERE] plays Robin, and the villain is Calendar Man.
(I don't know actors.)

I wish I could come up with a wish.
 
You are granted the ability to dream wonderful dreams with an imagination both great and vivid. You see all the possibilities in the world. All the good things that could be. You can imagine anything and wish that these great and beautiful things would come true. A billion possibilities and wishes race through your head every day. Your imagination begins to consume you. You can no longer focus at work and you stop paying attention to your significant other. Going to work becomes a near impossible task as you constantly become lost in your dreams of the unreal, narrowly avoiding walking into traffic and running into other people. At first you can barely hold a conversation, and then you cannot at all. Your relationship quickly falls apart and you lose your job. You're cast out upon the streets. You dream of your job, your home, and your love. But all you can do is make an empty wish.

You wish you were fed. You wish you were warm. You wish you were normal. You wish you weren't alone. You wish you hadn't been granted the first wish. You wish that you hadn't been so naive. You wish the doctors understood. You wish they would release you from the hospital. You wish you were back in the hospital. You wish people wouldn't call you a hopeless fool with your head in the clouds or tell you that it was all in your head. You wish they wouldn't call you a lost cause. You wish they would show you some compassion. You wish you weren't judged. You wish you were happy. You wish there was some way to make it stop. You wish it would all just end.


You smile.

After a billion empty wishes your final one will be granted. You pull the trigger.


I wish I wasn't so restless.
 
Granted, but your OS is Android and keeps messing up and getting hacked by 12 year olds.

I wish Disney would stop having a bug up their rears and let Joss Whedon put Squirrel Girl in Avengers 3.
 
Granted! However, in a plot twist; Squirrel Girl is secretly in an alliance with Ultron and lures the Avengers into his traps, watching gleefully as he slaughters the helpless heroes.

I wish I had more time for TNP :(
 
Wish granted but because of all the time you are spending on TNP you lose all your friends, your family disowns you, and you lose your job. Making you go to the library daily just to log on to TNP. Then a man saw your log in info, so he logged in and trolled the forums which then caused your account to be banned...

I wish I had every Lego set ever.
 
Granted but your collection is destroyed by the Megabloks Infidels.

I wish people would buy my last album, the tour de force that was "Surrealist Ragtime for Bouncing Loveslaves". (i's a sort o Jazz fusion/scream/synthpop thing)
 
Granted. They all buy it, but they all call it the worst music they ever heard. Ever. You are killed by a lynch mob for creating it.

I wish everything would just make sense for once.
 
Granted. Everything makes sense. For the rest of time that human-kind exists they live in perfect predictability. Curiosity may have killed the cat, but you killed curiosity.

I wish I could corrupt wishes in a happier way!
 
Wish granted but every person you kill their soul remains with you. Constantly haunting you to insanity...

I wish Star Trek like holodecks existed.
 
Granted! You are captured and placed in a holodeck where you are constantly tortured through whatever scenario they please.

I wish Nessie hadn't surpassed me in posts so bloody quick :(
 
Granted. The machine half takes over and attempts to destroy humanity, but it can only make toast.

I wish my speakers weren't so static-y.
 
You have a third monitor but it is 3D and melts your face like gooey camembert in july.

I wish my idea for a 60's style sitcom about a very camp Hitler would be picked up by a network... the world needs another "Heil Honey, I'm Home!"
 
It's picked up, but then is canceled before the pilot even airs.

I wish I was capable of doing more things in a set amount of time.
 
Gradea:
I steal all of your time by killing you with a bagel.
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...What? The point of this is to grant the wish, but provide a side effect that would ruin it. That doesn't grant my wish at all, nor is it even a side effect, introduced or otherwise.
 
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