Corrupt a Wish

You spend too long trying to decide the probability of each candidate winning the upcoming election and die from starvation.

I wish the above made sense.
 
There was a 0% probability of me taking too long to decide the probability of each candidate winning the upcoming election though.

Granted, the above makes sense, but it still is not true.

I wish I had a second wish that could not be corrupted.
 
Your second wish is un-corruptable but you are mute and completely paralyzed therefore unable to communicate what you know.

I wish NS stats actually worked
 
they are so accurate that world governments stop dealing with real life and create thei perfect nations in NS.

I wish this wish wasn't a wish but was a wish that could not be called a wish.
 
Granted. Now, it's actually worth 1,000,000,000 Zimbabwean dollars :(

I wish for all the countries in the world to ally against our true natural enemy: cockroaches
 
The cockroach army is too strong for the puny humans, even united as a globe; they conquer the Earth and make us their slaves.

I wish that I had a good phone that never got damaged.
 
Granted. But now you got a granted wish, which is not nothing. So denied! but wait a minute, that's...

*paradox intensifies*

I wish for a better computer that, uhh, never breaks or even gets remotely damaged, and never gets stolen! Hah!
 
Granted, the computer is so good that it confuses you.

I wish that I could write as fast as I could type.
 
Granted. A citizen named "nobody" is now permanently barred from wishing on this thread.

I wish Mystery Player would come up with a good wish.
 
mystery player comes up with a good wish but it is so long that it crashes the entire TNP forums server whenever opened

I wish my homemade USIN badge actually looked good
 
you do well, but only when you have 5 minutes left.

I wish this post was more interesting.
 
your post becomes more interesting, so interesting infact that it goes viral to the point where so many posts are made per minute that you cannot possibly use the forums anymore.

I wish that I was rich
 
You become fabulously wealthy, and Trump becomes president. The world ends.

I wish to be immortal
 
Unimaginable Doom:
You become fabulously wealthy, and Trump becomes president. The world ends.

I wish to be immortal
Click to expand...
You become immortal, but everything in existence ends except you, so your bored for eternity because there is nothing else.

I wish that this wish corrupts the next wish.
 
Granted, your wish is my command. And now you're the genie in a bottle.

I wish Donald Trump would grow up.
 
the earth's rotation slows which causes mass hysteria and the panic leads to nuclear apocolypse and the extinction of the human race

I wish that I was 30cm taller
 
Your spontaneous and sudden growth of 30 centimeters causes vigilante groups to target you on suspicion of being the Antichrist, stabbing your throat when you are asleep.

I wish Trump and Hillary suddenly die before election day-
 
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