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TNP Vending Machine!

You get :console:

I insert one used brilliant-cut diamond engagement ring in a tiffany setting.
 
You get a bus trip to a camp in the middle of no where and all you get to eat is S'mores.

I insert ^ and ^^ and ^^^
 
You get a complete copy of the city of Bohn, in miniature.

I insert Bob Crowe, RMT General Secretary, mainly because it would be immensely hilarious squeezing his enormous ass into a teeny change slot.
 
You get a bad case of the flu and an unsightly rash that actually looks like Abraham Lincoln so you go on Oprah and end up getting an endorsement deal and become a millionaire only to lose it all on gambling and whores.

I insert a witty comment
 
You get old, weird 70s music. Freak.


I insert an authentic Jeff Buckley guitar pick and the shattered remains of my former life. And some pea soup.
 
The most delicious sandwich ever made. Or at least it was. 20 odd days back when you put your dog-gumbo combo in. Now its less than delicious. Considerably so.

I put my desire for spam in.
 
You get: A small bottle marked "drink me", the hind-leg of a large white rabbit and a collection of assorted marbles.

I place the nib of a fountain pen into the machine.
 
Whilst Harry was none to pleased with the transmogrification, he is expelled into your crotch area as a swarm of angry Death Bees!

I place a small African tribesman into the machine.
 
In return you get the newest, shortest internet billionaire.

I place all the members, past and present, of Iron Maiden into the machine.
 
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