Ask a stupid question and get a dumb answer

Kaschovia · May 18, 2016

Because of the smell.

How do I open my eyes?

IndieGirl · May 18, 2016

With a can opener. (For more than just cans!™)

What year is it?

Honeysheep · May 18, 2016

Well, me, you and Flem have posted and GM was online yesterday, so about 2006?

Why am I here?

IndieGirl · May 18, 2016

Because you are a true patriot.

Why haven't we been here all along?

Honeysheep · May 18, 2016

Too busy learning and getting drunk.

Will we ever grow up?

Roavin · May 18, 2016

Some of us grow sideways.

Where are my socks?

Honeysheep · May 18, 2016

With your keys.

Why do I have to go out?

MacSalterson · May 18, 2016

To get back in.

Has Anyone Really Been Far Even as Decided to Use Even Go Want to do Look More Like?

IndieGirl · May 18, 2016

Er... buh?!

Would you kiss a stranger for a million dollars?

Honeysheep · May 18, 2016

“Churchill: "Madam, would you sleep with me for five million pounds?" Socialite: "My goodness, Mr. Churchill... Well, I suppose... we would have to discuss terms, of course... "
Churchill: "Would you sleep with me for five pounds?"
Socialite: "Mr. Churchill, what kind of woman do you think I am?!" Churchill: "Madam, we've already established that. Now we are haggling about the price”

Was that what you wanted?

IndieGirl · May 18, 2016

It was good enough.

Why does my toast always land jam-side down?

Frozentophat · May 18, 2016

Because the sun is green.

Who governs the moon?

Kaschovia · May 28, 2016

Me.

How cold was I sixty three years ago?

Frozentophat · May 29, 2016

300 degrees orange, with a side of tuna.

Kaschovia · May 29, 2016

in your socks.

how do I know if I'm awake?

Frozentophat · May 29, 2016

If you can lick your lower back without bending your left big toe.

Why does life?

Kaschovia · May 29, 2016

Why not?

If it is six o'clock on a Tuesday morning, how many toasters will I need to use to make a cup of milk?

Frozentophat · May 29, 2016

Trick question - there is no 6:00 on Tuesdays.

Why do my hands only come in three colors?

Kaschovia · May 29, 2016

You need to get a refund on that, mine came in all 16 colours.

How many degrees does it take to get to sleep?

Frozentophat · May 29, 2016

Over 9000, just keep spinning.

How many radians does it take to wake up?

Kaschovia · May 29, 2016

3.1459875.

what is the radius of a whale?

Frozentophat · May 29, 2016

Another trick question: Radiuses aren't real.

What color is my bowtie?

Kaschovia · May 29, 2016

Seven.

Why is the moon rectangular?

Andrew · May 29, 2016

Because it went on a diet

why is santa called santa

Kaschovia · May 29, 2016

because he ran the surface of the moon in sixteen seconds.

how can mirrors be real if our eyes aren't real?

Ornge · May 30, 2016

Trick question, nothing is real

Why does sunlight?

Kaschovia · May 30, 2016

because it wants to

how do I know when I need to chop my pineapples?

Ceretis · May 31, 2016

When your brain chemistry tells you to chop.

If you blend with a blender and wipe with a wiper, what is a fing in a finger doing?

Kaschovia · May 31, 2016

The most peculiar of things.

What is 6.432 divided by a grumpy old man?

Ceretis · May 31, 2016

1 for you, 6,431 for the grumpy old man.

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a 1" rock?

Kaschovia · May 31, 2016

None, you just need to smash it against your forehead until you pass out.

Why can't I feel my legs?

Ceretis · May 31, 2016

Because real men don't have feelings.

How do we solve the problem of too many prisoners?

Kaschovia · May 31, 2016

Lock them up.

Why does it hurt when I stare at the sun?

Ceretis · May 31, 2016

Because... aliens.

How many tuna can I fit in my Jeep?

Ornge · Jun 1, 2016

A larger number than aliens you can fit in your jeep.

What do you know about the pizza?

Kaschovia · Jun 1, 2016

It gets dropped on pavements.

When are the July 4th celebrations?

Ceretis · Jun 1, 2016

When Americans celebrate independence by using decorative colored flares and eat fried chicken.

If the polar ice caps melting is so bad, why don't we just dump them in the desert?

Nebula · Jun 1, 2016

Because polar bears can't eat cacti.

Why don't I have a life?

Ceretis · Jun 1, 2016

Because your government owns your life.

Why can't polar bears eat cacti?

Kaschovia · Jun 1, 2016

Because they don't like smooth surfaces.

What is the difference between an ostrich and a frying pan?

Ask a stupid question and get a dumb answer

Spring Dawn

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Citizen

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Of air and darkness

Spring Dawn

Of air and darkness

Spring Dawn

Of air and darkness

Spring Dawn

Of air and darkness

Citizen

Spring Dawn

Of air and darkness

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Of air and darkness

Spring Dawn