The Great War: OOC

Syrixia:
Cronaal:
Piscivore:
Cronaal:
Syrixia:
How about this: what if we helped you write the post, one step at a time? I'll provide the article template, and we can fiddle with it together.
Click to expand...
Ehh...
Backs away into a dark corner with a small box called confidence
Click to expand...
I'm not going to pressure you, so this is the last time I'll offer; I am willing to help you in private via PM.

Put something down, anything, without worrying if it is good, and we'll work with it. (To give you some perspective, in the side story I'm doing, my first draft of one chapter had the main character--a girl from a supposed country of highly educated geniuses, mind--be confused about the nature and function of a flush toilet. :) )
Click to expand...
Thank you for the idea.
I would've asked you and Syrixia but I'd feel I'm bothering you both, I was scared to show Syrixia the small creative writing piece I did at school before I PMd it to him which is how much I'd rather not.
Click to expand...
You're not bothering me at all! Why would you ever think that?
Click to expand...
Because.
I do.
 
Cronaal:
Thank you for the idea.
I would've asked you and Syrixia but I'd feel I'm bothering you both, I was scared to show Syrixia the small creative writing piece I did at school before I PMd it to him which is how much I'd rather not.
Click to expand...
I offered; you're not bothering me. Helping people write better is something I enjoy.

And don't worry about being embarrassed; I used to participate in a Harry Potter fan-fiction site (probably before you were born, thankfully it does not exist anymore :) ) So I've read and written stories more amateurish, technically speaking, than you can possibly imagine. :D

One thing; I'm about to step away from my desk for lunch, so if I don't respond for the next hour or so, don't read anything into that. :)
 
Cronaal:
Syrixia:
Cronaal:
Piscivore:
Cronaal:
Syrixia:
How about this: what if we helped you write the post, one step at a time? I'll provide the article template, and we can fiddle with it together.
Click to expand...
Ehh...
Backs away into a dark corner with a small box called confidence
Click to expand...
I'm not going to pressure you, so this is the last time I'll offer; I am willing to help you in private via PM.

Put something down, anything, without worrying if it is good, and we'll work with it. (To give you some perspective, in the side story I'm doing, my first draft of one chapter had the main character--a girl from a supposed country of highly educated geniuses, mind--be confused about the nature and function of a flush toilet. :) )
Click to expand...
Thank you for the idea.
I would've asked you and Syrixia but I'd feel I'm bothering you both, I was scared to show Syrixia the small creative writing piece I did at school before I PMd it to him which is how much I'd rather not.
Click to expand...
You're not bothering me at all! Why would you ever think that?
Click to expand...
Because.
I do.
Click to expand...
Here.

Put something down relating to the event you discussed with Nebula. Put anything down. I don't care if it's good or bad. I don't care how long or short it is. Anything at all. Put something, anything about the event down and we'll work with it. :)
 
Syrixia:
Cronaal:
Syrixia:
Cronaal:
Piscivore:
Cronaal:
Syrixia:
How about this: what if we helped you write the post, one step at a time? I'll provide the article template, and we can fiddle with it together.
Click to expand...
Ehh...
Backs away into a dark corner with a small box called confidence
Click to expand...
I'm not going to pressure you, so this is the last time I'll offer; I am willing to help you in private via PM.

Put something down, anything, without worrying if it is good, and we'll work with it. (To give you some perspective, in the side story I'm doing, my first draft of one chapter had the main character--a girl from a supposed country of highly educated geniuses, mind--be confused about the nature and function of a flush toilet. :) )
Click to expand...
Thank you for the idea.
I would've asked you and Syrixia but I'd feel I'm bothering you both, I was scared to show Syrixia the small creative writing piece I did at school before I PMd it to him which is how much I'd rather not.
Click to expand...
You're not bothering me at all! Why would you ever think that?
Click to expand...
Because.
I do.
Click to expand...
Here.

Put something down relating to the event you discussed with Nebula. Put anything down. I don't care if it's good or bad. I don't care how long or short it is. Anything at all. Put something, anything about the event down and we'll work with it. :)
Click to expand...
B-but..

I'm not patient with these things.
My brain expects it to be done in 20 minutes, no more but I know it won't be done like that.
It doesn't stop me from not planning things though.
 
Cronaal:
Syrixia:
Cronaal:
Syrixia:
Cronaal:
Piscivore:
Cronaal:
Syrixia:
How about this: what if we helped you write the post, one step at a time? I'll provide the article template, and we can fiddle with it together.
Click to expand...
Ehh...
Backs away into a dark corner with a small box called confidence
Click to expand...
I'm not going to pressure you, so this is the last time I'll offer; I am willing to help you in private via PM.

Put something down, anything, without worrying if it is good, and we'll work with it. (To give you some perspective, in the side story I'm doing, my first draft of one chapter had the main character--a girl from a supposed country of highly educated geniuses, mind--be confused about the nature and function of a flush toilet. :) )
Click to expand...
Thank you for the idea.
I would've asked you and Syrixia but I'd feel I'm bothering you both, I was scared to show Syrixia the small creative writing piece I did at school before I PMd it to him which is how much I'd rather not.
Click to expand...
You're not bothering me at all! Why would you ever think that?
Click to expand...
Because.
I do.
Click to expand...
Here.

Put something down relating to the event you discussed with Nebula. Put anything down. I don't care if it's good or bad. I don't care how long or short it is. Anything at all. Put something, anything about the event down and we'll work with it. :)
Click to expand...
B-but..

I'm not patient with these things.
My brain expects it to be done in 20 minutes, no more but I know it won't be done like that.
It doesn't stop me from not planning things though.
Click to expand...
Like I said, it doesn't matter about the quality or how it's planned. I don't care about how you write it at all. Just put something down and we'll work with that. :)
 
Syrixia:
Cronaal:
Syrixia:
Cronaal:
Syrixia:
Cronaal:
Piscivore:
Cronaal:
Syrixia:
How about this: what if we helped you write the post, one step at a time? I'll provide the article template, and we can fiddle with it together.
Click to expand...
Ehh...
Backs away into a dark corner with a small box called confidence
Click to expand...
I'm not going to pressure you, so this is the last time I'll offer; I am willing to help you in private via PM.

Put something down, anything, without worrying if it is good, and we'll work with it. (To give you some perspective, in the side story I'm doing, my first draft of one chapter had the main character--a girl from a supposed country of highly educated geniuses, mind--be confused about the nature and function of a flush toilet. :) )
Click to expand...
Thank you for the idea.
I would've asked you and Syrixia but I'd feel I'm bothering you both, I was scared to show Syrixia the small creative writing piece I did at school before I PMd it to him which is how much I'd rather not.
Click to expand...
You're not bothering me at all! Why would you ever think that?
Click to expand...
Because.
I do.
Click to expand...
Here.

Put something down relating to the event you discussed with Nebula. Put anything down. I don't care if it's good or bad. I don't care how long or short it is. Anything at all. Put something, anything about the event down and we'll work with it. :)
Click to expand...
B-but..

I'm not patient with these things.
My brain expects it to be done in 20 minutes, no more but I know it won't be done like that.
It doesn't stop me from not planning things though.
Click to expand...
Like I said, it doesn't matter about the quality or how it's planned. I don't care about how you write it at all. Just put something down and we'll work with that. :)
Click to expand...
They looked outside of the giant dildo car.
 
Cronaal:
Syrixia:
Cronaal:
Syrixia:
Cronaal:
Syrixia:
Cronaal:
Piscivore:
Cronaal:
Syrixia:
How about this: what if we helped you write the post, one step at a time? I'll provide the article template, and we can fiddle with it together.
Click to expand...
Ehh...
Backs away into a dark corner with a small box called confidence
Click to expand...
I'm not going to pressure you, so this is the last time I'll offer; I am willing to help you in private via PM.

Put something down, anything, without worrying if it is good, and we'll work with it. (To give you some perspective, in the side story I'm doing, my first draft of one chapter had the main character--a girl from a supposed country of highly educated geniuses, mind--be confused about the nature and function of a flush toilet. :) )
Click to expand...
Thank you for the idea.
I would've asked you and Syrixia but I'd feel I'm bothering you both, I was scared to show Syrixia the small creative writing piece I did at school before I PMd it to him which is how much I'd rather not.
Click to expand...
You're not bothering me at all! Why would you ever think that?
Click to expand...
Because.
I do.
Click to expand...
Here.

Put something down relating to the event you discussed with Nebula. Put anything down. I don't care if it's good or bad. I don't care how long or short it is. Anything at all. Put something, anything about the event down and we'll work with it. :)
Click to expand...
B-but..

I'm not patient with these things.
My brain expects it to be done in 20 minutes, no more but I know it won't be done like that.
It doesn't stop me from not planning things though.
Click to expand...
Like I said, it doesn't matter about the quality or how it's planned. I don't care about how you write it at all. Just put something down and we'll work with that. :)
Click to expand...
They looked outside of the giant dildo car.
Click to expand...
Okay. Let's work with that.

First of all, make it germane to the situation you discussed with Nebula.
 
And so ends the forum's greatest quote chain. :lol:

Anyway, Cro, take that phrase and make it germane to the IC situation. If it's vague that's OK. We'll work on that too.
 
Kannex:
Inspiration.
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Watched and noted some details.

-West Germany began relaxing on the immigration rules between East.
-People were worried about the job-market in that sense
-People were also worried about the security of the nation regarding military pacts if it were to reunite.

Sorry, all I remember about an hour later.
 
Hiskjriaana:
Wow, who knew so much could happen in 8 days... can someone get me caught up?
Click to expand...
If you mean during the Non-RP Period, the most recent discussion was me complaining I don't know what to post for the next installment of the RP, named Burning Mountains.
 
Cronaal:
Hiskjriaana:
Wow, who knew so much could happen in 8 days... can someone get me caught up?
Click to expand...
If you mean during the Non-RP Period, the most recent discussion was me complaining I don't know what to post for the next installment of the RP, named Burning Mountains.
Click to expand...
You say it in a way that makes it sound like you CAN post it now. Are you able to? You did fine with the Añola RP.
 
Syrixia:
Cronaal:
Hiskjriaana:
Wow, who knew so much could happen in 8 days... can someone get me caught up?
Click to expand...
If you mean during the Non-RP Period, the most recent discussion was me complaining I don't know what to post for the next installment of the RP, named Burning Mountains.
Click to expand...
You say it in a way that makes it sound like you CAN post it now. Are you able to? You did fine with the Añola RP.
Click to expand...
It just seemed childish when I tried to write the small news article after I did a small story bit.
It was just awful.
 
Starting Burning Mountains again, here's the start so far..

The smoke stacks flowed out of the city of Karandin, the city between the North Cronaal Wall. One could see the city from miles away, the streets that were stacked upon eachother in a box-like manner making it seem as if the city itself were some giant scaffolding that grew higher and higher by the year, at the center of the city on could see the giant, towering spire of the Fredrick Tower that jutted out of the center of the chaotic mess. Most cities on Cronaal had adopted the 'Stacked Street' style of building, piling streets upon eachother and holding them up with buildings and steel beams.
 
Cronaal:
Starting Burning Mountains again, here's the start so far..

The smoke stacks flowed out of the city of Karandin, the city between the Tyrath Wall. One could see the city from miles away, the streets that were stacked upon eachother in a box-like manner making it seem as if the city itself were some giant scaffolding that grew higher and higher by the year, at the center of the city on could see the giant, towering spire of the Fredrick Tower that jutted out of the center of the chaotic mess. Most cities on Cronaal had adopted the 'Stacked Street' style of building, piling streets upon eachother and holding them up with buildings and steel beams.
Click to expand...
Nice! That's a good background. Now that the background is done, transition from the background to the situation. Once in the situation, explain what's going on, and then have a little dialogue here and there between the North Cronaal police. Then, FIRE!
 
Syrixia:
Cronaal:
Starting Burning Mountains again, here's the start so far..

The smoke stacks flowed out of the city of Karandin, the city between the Tyrath Wall. One could see the city from miles away, the streets that were stacked upon eachother in a box-like manner making it seem as if the city itself were some giant scaffolding that grew higher and higher by the year, at the center of the city on could see the giant, towering spire of the Fredrick Tower that jutted out of the center of the chaotic mess. Most cities on Cronaal had adopted the 'Stacked Street' style of building, piling streets upon eachother and holding them up with buildings and steel beams.
Click to expand...
Nice! That's a good background. Now that the background is done, transition from the background to the situation. Once in the situation, explain what's going on, and then have a little dialogue here and there between the North Cronaal police. Then, FIRE!
Click to expand...
Thank you c;
I planned for Cronaal's cities to be streets piled on top of eachother, they appear to be giant scaffolds from a distance.
 
Cronaal:
Syrixia:
Cronaal:
Starting Burning Mountains again, here's the start so far..

The smoke stacks flowed out of the city of Karandin, the city between the Tyrath Wall. One could see the city from miles away, the streets that were stacked upon eachother in a box-like manner making it seem as if the city itself were some giant scaffolding that grew higher and higher by the year, at the center of the city on could see the giant, towering spire of the Fredrick Tower that jutted out of the center of the chaotic mess. Most cities on Cronaal had adopted the 'Stacked Street' style of building, piling streets upon eachother and holding them up with buildings and steel beams.
Click to expand...
Nice! That's a good background. Now that the background is done, transition from the background to the situation. Once in the situation, explain what's going on, and then have a little dialogue here and there between the North Cronaal police. Then, FIRE!
Click to expand...
Thank you c;
I planned for Cronaal's cities to be streets piled on top of eachother, they appear to be giant scaffolds from a distance.
Click to expand...
No problem! Let's see what you come up with using that frame I provided.
 
Syrixia:
Cronaal:
Syrixia:
Cronaal:
Starting Burning Mountains again, here's the start so far..

The smoke stacks flowed out of the city of Karandin, the city between the Tyrath Wall. One could see the city from miles away, the streets that were stacked upon eachother in a box-like manner making it seem as if the city itself were some giant scaffolding that grew higher and higher by the year, at the center of the city on could see the giant, towering spire of the Fredrick Tower that jutted out of the center of the chaotic mess. Most cities on Cronaal had adopted the 'Stacked Street' style of building, piling streets upon eachother and holding them up with buildings and steel beams.
Click to expand...
Nice! That's a good background. Now that the background is done, transition from the background to the situation. Once in the situation, explain what's going on, and then have a little dialogue here and there between the North Cronaal police. Then, FIRE!
Click to expand...
Thank you c;
I planned for Cronaal's cities to be streets piled on top of eachother, they appear to be giant scaffolds from a distance.
Click to expand...
No problem! Let's see what you come up with using that frame I provided.
Click to expand...
Okay..
I'll explain the cities a bit more too in this OOC.

They're kind of like tunnels, some of the streets, with no sunlight being accessible but use giant gaps in the edge of the streets which look out and ventilation to allow air into the cities. It works similar to the underground cities in Turkey.
 
"The smoke stacks flowed out of the city of Karandin, the city between the Tyrath Wall."

I'm confused by this sentence, did you mean it is divided by the wall?

"I planned for Cronaal's cities to be streets piled on top of each other, they appear to be giant scaffolds from a distance."

Academy City is basically an 10-80 story ziggurat-shaped shopping mall the size of Detroit.
 
Piscivore:
"The smoke stacks flowed out of the city of Karandin, the city between the Tyrath Wall."

I'm confused by this sentence, did you mean it is divided by the wall?

"I planned for Cronaal's cities to be streets piled on top of each other, they appear to be giant scaffolds from a distance."

Academy City is basically an 10-80 story ziggurat-shaped shopping mall the size of Chicago.
Click to expand...
Hmm...

I do mean it's divided by the wall, it's also the only city divided by the wall.
 
Cronaal:
Piscivore:
"The smoke stacks flowed out of the city of Karandin, the city between the Tyrath Wall."

I'm confused by this sentence, did you mean it is divided by the wall?

"I planned for Cronaal's cities to be streets piled on top of each other, they appear to be giant scaffolds from a distance."

Academy City is basically an 10-80 story ziggurat-shaped shopping mall the size of Chicago.
Click to expand...
Hmm...

I do mean it's divided by the wall, it's also the only city divided by the wall.
Click to expand...
I'd say that, then; "the only city separated in two by the wall".

"Between the wall" makes it sound like it is inside the wall, somehow, or the wall loops around it.
 
Piscivore:
Cronaal:
Piscivore:
"The smoke stacks flowed out of the city of Karandin, the city between the Tyrath Wall."

I'm confused by this sentence, did you mean it is divided by the wall?

"I planned for Cronaal's cities to be streets piled on top of each other, they appear to be giant scaffolds from a distance."

Academy City is basically an 10-80 story ziggurat-shaped shopping mall the size of Chicago.
Click to expand...
Hmm...

I do mean it's divided by the wall, it's also the only city divided by the wall.
Click to expand...
I'd say that, then; "the only city separated in two by the wall".

"Between the wall" makes it sound like it is inside the wall, somehow, or the wall loops around it.
Click to expand...
Not personally, but I'll try and find a way to make your suggestion work.
 
Also...

"Half the city was blocked off by a large, concrete wall and much of the traffic had been diverted through other routes with buildings demolished to make way for newer roads, allowing the North Cronaal Wall to stand high and mighty despite the cities unusual construction and the essential control of the cities' populace by the North Cronaal authorities.

The serenity was to change though, the grand-design of the city began to collapse in on itself in the North side, a bomb had destroyed much of the supporting structures that held up the streets above. Fires had begun to start and panic was ensuing across the Northern side, it could barely be heard on the other side of the 20" concrete wall the separated the South. The makeshift police system that the Nebulans had instated in the cities of North Cronaal were utterly careless with the event and had only evacuated people from the area into the suburbs, outside of the endless scaffold. People began to get concerned, no fire brigade came, no protectors came either and all they could hear was gunfire and the deaths of many in the distance, echoing and beating through the endless, dark streets of the city."
 
Final para:

The glaring sun burst through the colossal hole that was created by the explosion, the light poured into the connecting streets and the eyes of those who'd trapped themselves in the consuming, dark hovels that the city created felt their eyes burn and fill with urging, stinging pain. Rebel soldiers ran at the gaping hole they'd created, looking at their unintended destruction as the fire engulfed the small area around them and the North Cronaal police began to fire at them behind.

I'll give some time before I post.
 
I forgot to say, Karandin is in the Tyrath province, located in a large valley in the 'middle' of the Tyrath-Ganjar Mountain Range that stretches from the furthest edge of Ganjar to the furthest edge of Tyrath. I'm getting sloppy D:
 
Syrixia:
Finally, late at night, 5,000 troops from the newly-founded Syrixian Peacekeeping Forces arrived in Oakshire following the plea for help from South Cronaal. The troops were not weary, but excited, energized and ready to protect the city from falling. Showing their identification to the authorities, they got into the city. They then made their way to Karandin. What they saw was utterly terrifying. Fire was everywhere; blood, gore, bullets and crying citizens dotted the streets. Small buildings were collapsing. The flaming city could be seen from miles away, and the screaming could be heard from just as far. The peacekeepers could hear firing. Suddenly, one of those fired bullets hit a peacekeeper, killing him instantly.
Click to expand...
I was about to tell you off but I remembered Karandin was in a valley inside mountains, the soldiers would have been raised up above the city and have been able to see the gaping hole nearby the center of the 'city-structure' and possibly peek at fires and fights that were occurring within.
 
Cronaal:
Syrixia:
Finally, late at night, 5,000 troops from the newly-founded Syrixian Peacekeeping Forces arrived in Oakshire following the plea for help from South Cronaal. The troops were not weary, but excited, energized and ready to protect the city from falling. Showing their identification to the authorities, they got into the city. They then made their way to Karandin. What they saw was utterly terrifying. Fire was everywhere; blood, gore, bullets and crying citizens dotted the streets. Small buildings were collapsing. The flaming city could be seen from miles away, and the screaming could be heard from just as far. The peacekeepers could hear firing. Suddenly, one of those fired bullets hit a peacekeeper, killing him instantly.
Click to expand...
I was about to tell you off but I remembered Karandin was in a valley inside mountains, the soldiers would have been raised up above the city and have been able to see the gaping hole nearby the center of the 'city-structure' and possibly peek at fires and fights that were occurring within.
Click to expand...
I didn't know the damage was so bad there was a GAPING HOLE there. O_O
 
Syrixia:
Cronaal:
Syrixia:
Finally, late at night, 5,000 troops from the newly-founded Syrixian Peacekeeping Forces arrived in Oakshire following the plea for help from South Cronaal. The troops were not weary, but excited, energized and ready to protect the city from falling. Showing their identification to the authorities, they got into the city. They then made their way to Karandin. What they saw was utterly terrifying. Fire was everywhere; blood, gore, bullets and crying citizens dotted the streets. Small buildings were collapsing. The flaming city could be seen from miles away, and the screaming could be heard from just as far. The peacekeepers could hear firing. Suddenly, one of those fired bullets hit a peacekeeper, killing him instantly.
Click to expand...
I was about to tell you off but I remembered Karandin was in a valley inside mountains, the soldiers would have been raised up above the city and have been able to see the gaping hole nearby the center of the 'city-structure' and possibly peek at fires and fights that were occurring within.
Click to expand...
I didn't know the damage was so bad there was a GAPING HOLE there. O_O
Click to expand...
As I said, the closer to the center, the higher the streets stack.
 
Cronaal:
Syrixia:
Cronaal:
Syrixia:
Finally, late at night, 5,000 troops from the newly-founded Syrixian Peacekeeping Forces arrived in Oakshire following the plea for help from South Cronaal. The troops were not weary, but excited, energized and ready to protect the city from falling. Showing their identification to the authorities, they got into the city. They then made their way to Karandin. What they saw was utterly terrifying. Fire was everywhere; blood, gore, bullets and crying citizens dotted the streets. Small buildings were collapsing. The flaming city could be seen from miles away, and the screaming could be heard from just as far. The peacekeepers could hear firing. Suddenly, one of those fired bullets hit a peacekeeper, killing him instantly.
Click to expand...
I was about to tell you off but I remembered Karandin was in a valley inside mountains, the soldiers would have been raised up above the city and have been able to see the gaping hole nearby the center of the 'city-structure' and possibly peek at fires and fights that were occurring within.
Click to expand...
I didn't know the damage was so bad there was a GAPING HOLE there. O_O
Click to expand...
As I said, the closer to the center, the higher the streets stack.
Click to expand...
To add, the rebels seemingly didn't know that a small bomb would have caused so much damage.
 
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