Corrupt A Wish

You aren't. You're petrified, and die of not breathing.

"How'd she die, sir?"
"It looks like a case of not breathing."
"Ooh...was it fatal?"
"'Fraid so."
"Damn....
....Hank, check her pockets will ya?"



I wish I were funnier. Er, more funny...and had properer grammar.
 
You are and do, but your fingers fall off to compensate.

I wish I had extra fingers. You know, just in case, worst case scenario and all...
 
You have extra fingers...that are growing out of your shoulders. You never making it past your third date with women. As a result, you cut off the fingers that have so shamed you, and ruined your life, and accidentally hit your jugular when you swung too hard. You bleed to death wating for the metro to take you to the hospital. Your house is ransacked by hoodlums, and they even take your grandmother's tea cozy...the one with the little pom-pom on top.


I wish that I were less.........insane.
 
You are, but you realise to late your insanity is the source of all your spamness. Life becomes dull. (But more productive possibly).

I wish the whole world was a little nicer.
 
It is, because you're here. And I'm not.


Way to go, your wish killed me. Psh.



I wish that I didn't always involve death in my wish corruptions. Is there a fate worse than death? I should go for that one.
 
You dont always use death but then everyone thinks you are an imposter in IG's costume and they torture you until you beg to die.

I wish I had no homework.
 
You do, but by the time you get there, everyone has over 5000+, so your milestone doesn't rouse much interest.

I wish I could travel to Canada
 
It is.. in farenheit. You die of over heating.

I wish my "a" key worked better... it's not working very well.....
 
Hmmm.... I guess I have nothing to corrupt... I feel so empty inside...



I wish Nekro could grow facial hair
 
It is, but the umpire is myopic and thinks it was out. You lose straight sets.

I wish they made orange pie. That would be pie with oranges in it.
 
It does, but then you drive for the rest of the day without seeing another gas sattion and you are stuck in the middle of nowhere.

I wish I had better corruptions.
 
^ I don't know what that means, so you do get your wish, but it's wrong.

I wish monkeys had time travel so they appeared at random and inopportune moments in history, such as the battle with the Spanish Armada, Caesar's death, Christ's birth, and when Angus McBelfast died.
 
Psh, obviously you never heard of the reason behind Jesus only having 7 fingers. And why do you think Ceasar only had most of a laurel wreath? I mean, HE didn't eat the missing bits...

Anyway, monkeys do show up at your conception, and in RL you look a lot weirder than you claim.



I wish I had turned that one into a death and carnage corruption. Like, Monkeys showed up at the signing of the Declaration of Independence and gnawed Ben Franklin's leg off.
 
You do. They do. Contantly. You wither into a crude shell of your former self, sanity stripped away tweet by grating tweet.


I wish that I had a horde of rabid canaries to sic on my enemies.
 
You do, but due to the new "You can't go home again" law, you're arrested and charged with going home again. Do not pass GO do not collect £200.

I wish I had a fish.
 
You do, it's a new kind, that lives out of water. It's called a smackerel. Guess how it got it's name?


I wish I were less weird and more normal and not so hungry.
 
Your wish comes true but then we have nothing left in common, for I too wish I were normal and not quite so starving as I am right about now.

I wish I had good hair.
 
You have good hair. And a 300 lb. Italian wife with a Tears for Fears haircut. She'll kill you if you leave her.


I wish I had hair that didn't make me look like a military recruit. Somedays the wigs just an't enough. :cry:
 
Instead, your hair grows out to a mullet. And you have no scissors.

I wish red gummy bears to cease to exist. :mad:

(P.S. and a *hug* for IndieGirl :hug: )
 
You don't....instead you sit on the couch completely bored and go crazy from the dullness

I wish I had a new compy
 
you get one but then understand that your moving and can't take the compy with you.



I wish i was the owner of Rue21
 
You are, but just as you settle, business starts to mplummet and the business shuts down. Next we hear from you, you're on a street corner bumming nickels and cigarettes.

I wish I had hot chocolate nearby
 
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