Corrupt A Wish

You do, but you lose the ability to figure out what the hell is and will be going on.

I wish rooms would be able to clean themselves.
 
they do clean themselves, and like in the matrix, they consider you an evil plague, kill you and dispose of the body


I wish I could think of something not quite so violent
 
You have a real fish .. it's still alive .. it's not a fish it's a great white shark .. you don't have it for long for obvious reasons


I wish I could sleep
 
You do, albeit fitfully. You know what's worse than insomnia? Waking up every 5 minutes. Yeah... <_<

I wish there was no-calorie food that taste good.
 
there is....unfortunately what it lacks in calories, it more than makes up for in cholosterol and trans fats. You die of a massive heart attack.

I wish my compy could get here faster
 
Some crazy Russian guy gets the wise idea of shooting it to you with a giant cannon. It gets to you quickly but in many peaces.

I wish the :D emoticon never existed
 
Poof, it never existed. Now you are haunted by :3

I wish English was my first language so I could stop screwing it up so much.
 
You're not. But just when the wish comes true, that person suddenly wants to date you

I wish I was more computer savvy
 
You are, but computers suddenly turn into pirates and start asking you "Savvy?" all the time. Miss one turn.

I WISH I WAS ABLE TO DO SOMETHING INTERESTING WHERE I AM! ARGH
 
You do. You decide to burn things, and are arrested for arson. And killed before a firing squad. For no good reason, other than it's apparently obligatory for me to kill things in this thread.


I wish I didn't encounter such murderous rage when I corrupt things.
 
You don't, but you instead get immense peace from corrupting things, and this makes you very wevil.

I wish my desk was made of chocolate.
 
It's made of chocolate. Poisoned chocolate. You eat it and die a gruesome, horrid death amidst the remnants. It involved stomach cramps, puking, and diarrhea.



I wish that I could say just how awesome you guys are. I feel like a group hug. :hug:
 
:hug:

You do, but........... um............I just can't corrupt this! It's too sweet!

I wish I had more bravado
 
You do but we've all gone deaf so we don't know what you're saying.

I wish I hadn't just done the Crip Walk. I'm now marked for death.
 
You are....you just end up on NPR as one of those boring newsreaders

I wish I could train my dog to tap dance.
 
You do, and he leaves you for his agent, and starts a life of black-market tap-dancing slavery. Since, you know....that market is so prevalent. :pinch:



I wish I were.....funnier.
 
You do, but then you realizethat expressive art is out....stick figures are in baby!!

I wish I knew how to install computer hardware.
 
You do, but not software. None of your hardware works. And yes, I am aware of plug'n'play.

I wish I could think up another 150 words and get this essay plan over with.
 
IndieGirl:
I wish that I were not so hopelessly in love with someone who doesn't even care about it.
Click to expand...
Same boat on that one. O_o

You do, but they're all "Blood" and you're committed.

I wish I could stay home and get blitzed.
 
You can, but you obviously shouldn't given that you're wishing it, so you have to deal with the consequences.

I wish my computer would stop overheating.
 
I come over and install your hardware into a liquid cooling system. That'll be 500 quid.

I wish you weren't right about that.
 
I'm not, but unfortunately that makes me a liar, and you will never be able to trust anything I type ever again. Not that you'll probly be very bothered about that but I can't think of anything else.

I wish the stuff I ordered from Amazon would arrive before I get home tomorrow.
 
It does but it's not what you ordered. Instead it's a kit containing panty hose, pop music cd, lipstick, nail polish, a hot waxing kit, mascara, perfume and other lady objects. You plan to call for it to be returned the next day, but curiosity gets the better of you. But unfortunetly for you while you are exploring your feminine side your parents and close friends decide to pay you a suprise visit and they walk in right as your half way through waxing your armpits.



wow that was long...


I wish more people(in my age group) would like European metal/rock bands.
 
Poof, they do, but now they're considered pop, and you now hate them on principle.

I wish that Heineken didn't taste and smell of skunk. (GDSKUNKBEER)
 
She does, but it takes so long to be granted you get bored waiting, and go somewhere where she isn't. Or something...

I wish more OOC threads were brought back to life...

edit - The keys have different pictures on them for a reason.
 
They are all revived for a few days but then lustre wears off and they are consigned to the dustbin of OOC history (until some bored spammer ressurects them next month0.

I wish I was more proactive.
 
Ping

You become so proactive you forget what it feels like to relax.

I wish I had a good sleeping pill.
 
You do. A good one for a mouse that is. All it does to you is make your feet go dead.

I wish things weren't so annoying...
 
You wish is granted and things become decidedly un-annoying; James Blunt becomes leader of the Tories and the next British Prime Minister. His first act as PM is to sign your death warrant for some inexcusable social faux-pas — you are executed at noon, by a choir of singing monks.

I wish I did not have to work today.
 
that's easy: you no longer have to go to work because you have become terminally ill

I wish the semester would hurry up and end
 
Suddenly the semester hurries up and ends. Then you notice that time itself has somehow accelerated. Years pass in few minutes. You grow old, die and turn into pile of dust faster than you can finish the sentence "Why, o why do these wishes always turn against me?"



I wish I could understand and talk every language.
 
Poof.

But how long before the constant come-ons of the birds, the droning, numerical instructions of the bees, and the slow and grave conversations between oaks drive you utterly mad?


I wish I had some cake right now.
 
*poof* You have the cake... *poof* the cake disapears.. You had some cake right now.

I wish for perfect, correctly shaped, correctly sized, human teeth that never decay.
 
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