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I WISH.....

I wish I could just bury myself in my giant bed-nest of pillows and too many blankets and not get out until the very last minute on Monday morning when I have to drag my ass to work.
 
i wish more funerals involved getting drunk and naked. when i die, i want to be taken to an animatronic taxidermist so whoever shows up can still hug me, and i want there to be lots of music and dancing and free drinks, and then i want to be catapulted into an open volcano.
 
i wish my office would spontaneously combust so i get workers comp but not burn me so badly that i'm horribly disfigured and only good to set out on the porch for halloween to frighten trick-or-treaters.
 
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