Chapstick Is Not Always Fun

I was hoping today would be better but it is worse...I have no one to talk to about how I feel. At least I got to sleep in today. I do not have to be to work until 11:00 but I am staying until seven today tomorrow and thursday and I'm working Saturday.

My mother and father are bleeding out my clutch coz there is to much air in it and it is not working. I am praying that is the only thing wrong with it coz I need it next week for when Dylan's parents leave.

I guess I should go get ready for work now.
 
I finaly got my truck and I got a cd player for it this morning. It is wonderful and I love it. Although it did cost me 50 dollars to fill the tank up...and the gas milegae? not so good.

Dylan's parents go out of town this week for the entirety of spring break. It should be nice and the timing couldnt be better coz I just got the truck.

My moms birthday is tomorrow and were getting takeout and watching xmen and all that stuff. it should be fun.

I am exhuasted..I hav ebeen tired a lot..wonder why...well I got some depressing stuff in the mail that I need to get rid of so bye
 
It is so frustrating when your family will not support your decision no matter what. I feel so alone and don't know what to do about staying at home coz after this afternoon it is clear I am not welcome there.
 
Calm down MP it is not the end of the world OPA has procreated.


We are actually pretty sure we are going to place the baby in open adoption which means we choose the couple ourselves, get to know them over the nine months and then stay in contact afterwards through letters and phone calls so we know how the baby is.

But we have nine months. So far that is the consesus.
 
We like that a couple that can't ever have babies is getting this amazing gift and the baby gets a home much more stable and prepared for a baby and we get well time to grow up since obviously we need to be more grown up to be ready for things like these..

but ultimately it is for the baby
 
Thanks so much it means a lot to hear someone say that because my parents are not gonna let meeven them anymore if I do this..which sucks..but I bought myself some time by telling them I am gonna reconsider everything after everything they have said so I have a couple months at least.

I am sooooooooooooo tired. And not just now but all the time. And I have a doctors appointment for the baby on April 16th and my says she knows how to use the scanner (coz I have no clue) and will post the sonogram pictures as soon as they are avilable.

Thanks again DD it means a lot everytime someone says they support my decision.
 
Okay so I bought myself time at home (need a place to live) and told my parents I will think about what they have said so I have until I am five or six months along to make a decision. *phew* I am going apartment hunting with Dylan today. Wish us luck!
 
one of my friends is going to have an unintended baby next month and its been so tough on her, even with her family supporting her. i cant imagine how hard it was for you to come to that decision. and i think its awesome that you have decided to give it up for open adoption, seems like its by far the best option.

and good luck on the apartment hunting.
 
Why thank you. I actually forgot about his 1:40 class so I had to settle for pizza at the loop and apartment hunting later.

Thanks for the words of encouragement. It is hard to decide this because the baby doesn't even look like a baby yet and I love it so much. But then I remember I am doing this because I love the baby and it makes it worth it. Man the worst thing has happened. I get an upset tummy whenever I eat pizza...I will fight this aversion to the death with Melba toast and gingerale!

Dylan says hello to everyone and he misses you. I am sure he is still talking to the people he misses though so it seems pointless. But hello all the same.

24 is on tonight and the Vice President is absolutely out of his mind.

I am having an ice cream sundae when I get home..or after dinner..but I will have one..with sprinkles and all!!! muahahah!!!

Now I am going to check my business email and send someone a much needed message...

and has anyone seen CC? or did she leave and I just not know coz I no longer have ample access to a pc?
 
I haven't seen her recently, I know her grandfather was having some problems back in February.

Last Activity: Mar 22 2007, 04:30 PM

:(


(also, give me your pizza if is makes you have an upset stomach. I'll either punch it in the face or eat it.)
 
Oh well I just found out a couple days ago :lol: I was just bein' spacy!

And thank you GBM, you are an awesome person and that really made my day!
 
:hug: Way to stick up for what you feel is right, Amber. I can't tell you how impressed I am with your choice and with your strength of character. You're an amazing person.
 
So I hope everyone'es Easter was pleasant and happy..

Mine was good ninety percent of the day..until my mother called to ask if I was coming to dinner and suggested I bring Dylan along (my dad has decided Dylan is not welcome in our home since he has forced me into making the horrible decision to place our child for adoption..even though it was my idea) So we are on our way in our own cars and my mom calls and is cleary upset. She tells me my dad has said Dylan is still not welcome in our home. So i told her to tell my dad to fuck off and I was not coming home for dinner. I went home got a bag (in case they decided I couldn't sleep at home) and went back to Dylan's. We watched some tv shows and then watched a movie with his parents..it was a really stupid movie called Quicksand. Not the best I have seen. But besides that it was a good Easter. The kids were adorable and the food was good..

And as for my family. I am done trying to be something they will accept. I have been trying my entire life to make them happy and I have finally realized it will never happen. So all I can hope for is a miracle so I can get out of the house and into our apartment as soon as possible.

I also had to go to the hospital last night..its ok though baby and mommy are fine.
 
Nope :lol:

We got an ultrasound done today due to possible complications. Good news as follows:

- baby is fine
- baby looks like a jelly bean (Dylan came up with that one)
- baby is 7 weeks
- We heard the heart beat and it was amazing. 158 bpm!
- mommy (me) is ok

Babies are seriously the coolest things ever.
 
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