Trebizondia | A Rising Power of the Black Sea

Internet service is too costly for normal people to purchase.

Whole-wheat loaves can only be ordered on the dark web.

Holidays are regarded as the most miserable time of the year.

Most farmers are indentured to agrochemical conglomerates.

The country's population is reported with a margin of error of several billions.

A sudden shout of "surprise!" does not herald a party for teachers.

Turan's back alleys are rife with sausage eating.

The government is ignoring the latest terrorist atrocities in Turan for fear of causing a fuss.

Film studios own the rights to actors' likenesses until the next millennium.

The request to "give us our daily bread" can only be fulfilled six days out of seven.

Citizens are allowed to rise or fall based on their own merits.

Rumor has it that Leader has won three lotteries in a row.

The numbers on the latest spending report are reaching stellar levels.

Cosmopolitan citizens ask what their countries can do for them.

All the cool kids have tetanus.

Government bureaucrats review designs for birdhouses to ensure they do not block the views of neighbors.

Citizens who plan overseas vacations are barred from running for political office.

Weird kids who eat bugs are breaking the law.

Politicians constantly ring their voters to remind them how good a job they're doing.

Ancestry test results arrive bundled with patent applications.

Saturday morning cartoons feature full frontal nudity.

Chanting protestors ask "WHAT DO WE WANT?" and reply "MORE OF THE SAME".

The new cheese tax is colloquially known as "wheel welfare".

Families waiting for delayed pipe installations hope daily for rain.

Children often kick Wolves for amusement.

On graduation day the hats thrown in the air fly high enough to stun passing pigeons.

Fidgety cubicle workers play with their balls.

Fruit market traders let their stock spoil rather than reduce their prices at the day's end.

The nation's politicians are acknowledged as the most polite in the region to the dismay of comedians everywhere.

The nation's only university is the School of Hard Knocks.

No one is quite sure what many government officials look like.

It is popularly believed that "cheese every day keeps disaster away".

Almost half of the child population live rough on the streets.

Stores employing more than 100 employees are required to be at least twenty miles from any competitor.

Trebizondians are regularly fired for looking at MyFace during their lunch breaks.

Shoving people into lockers qualifies you for a ministerial position.

Prison reforms have replaced communal luaus with communal loos.

Undersea volcanoes receive strongly worded letters for violating environmental regulations.

The song 'They Got an Awful Lot of Coffee in Trebizondia' is a smash hit.

Young and brooding teens are welcomed with open arms to the Dogwarts School of Strangeness and Sorcery.

Octogenarian swimsuit models insist that they've still got it.