Corrupt a Wish

You are suddenly able to understand the rules of this thread :P

I wish more people knew of the rules of MANY threads.
 
You get the card, but it requires some kind of fancy new PCI slot only available on a £1000 motherboard.

I wish for a world of love and care.
 
(You scumbag xD)

A Dyson Sphere is constructed, but is used as a super-weapon by the capitalist bourgeois to further exploit the working peoples.

I wish Google would be my friend <3
 
It will, but Firefox and Internet Explorer (When it finishes eating glue) will try to kill you.

I wish to see my cousin I haven't seen in forever.
 
You see him at his funeral; he tripped on the way to baggage claim after landing at the airport and broke his neck.

I wish for straight A's.
 
You get straight A's, but the tests were rigged so you lose all the marks.

I wish for more posts.
 
It's done right now and it lands on your lap, but not on a plate.

I wish for orange juice.
 
Everything starts doing itself, and you end up with no control over what happens.

I wish for a faster computer.
 
Frozentophat:
You see him at his funeral; he tripped on the way to baggage claim after landing at the airport and broke his neck.
Click to expand...
NOoOO!

You get a faster computer, but your internet is the worst.

I wish for moar ram. (My computer is screwed up ever since I got Battlefield One)
 
You get 16 GBs of RAM, in 128 RAMBUS modules with 128 MB each. The real old stuff!

I wish I owned a V6 Hybrid Formula One race car.
 
All of your friends are online, but you lose connection every 20 minutes.

I wish for the best internet connection in the universe.
 
You get the best connection in the universe. Your horrid one stays the same and everyone elses is slower now.

I wish that supercalifragilisticexpialidocious was a real word.
 
School is easier, but you learn nothing, and end up in the streets without any knowlage whatsoever.

I wish for a cheeseburger, with real meat, cheese, bread and ketchup. Nothing extra.
 
It's due monday. 3 years ago.

I wish that I could get everything for free
without ruining the economy.
 
Done - you get everything for free, all at one time, in an alternate reality where nothing exists. :P

I wish I had a better sense of time.
 
Like no other person in the universe, you have an intrinsic sense of the passage of time. You're almost attuned to the very essence of time itself. Every millisecond manifests itself before you in it's own way, each different from the last. Suddenly, you become acutely aware of every moment that has passed, and every moment that may come to pass, in all it's configurations. In one blink you see the entire history of man, your vision speeding through time faster than anything has ever traveled. More than any other time in your life you become aware of the blink that is a human life, and the fleeting moment that will encompass the rise and fall of man. Never have you felt more vulnerable, more mortal. You jolt back to the present, your mind racing but everything here now feels like it's moving and reacting in the slowest of slow motion. You're not sure what else to do but to try and make the world and yourself move at normal speed. Untrained, unknowing, you try and make things move a little faster and things pulse forward for one fraction of a second before you can react to stop it, but it's too late. The speed this time was immensely disorientating and neither the place nor day nor time is the same. You feel frail and weak. You look at your hand to see it wrinkled and thin. You try to collect your thoughts, remember what you did, but searching your memory references all of the past and the many possible futures and your own history begins to slip away into the billions of others surrounding it. You reach towards it, to try and grab it, only to fall forwards to the ground. Turning and looking up into what is now a night sky, the stars twinkle and shimmer above before your feeling, then your vision, then your thoughts gently fade. One mistake, leaving only the darkness to remain.




I wish I was better at Rocket League
 
Granted. You become so good that every single member of the Rocket League community no longer feels the need to play the game, and when you arrive at a point where nobody will play with you, you resign to the singleplayer mode, where you play the All-Star league. You quickly find that the standards of people online are much lower than an All-Star AI. You lose all of your matches and slowly begin to regret driving the RL community away.

I wish I wasn't ill.
 
Granted! A mysterious old man approaches and offers you an unmarked red pill that he says will cure all ailments. Thinking that this is surely too good to be a coincidence and that your wish had surely been answered you take the pill without question. Suddenly you are in perfect health but yet begin to feel very strange, very alert, very aware. Like no other person in the universe you have an intinsic sense of the passage of time. You're almost attuned to the very essence of time itself... you know how this ends :P


I wish I had a higher post count on these forums
 
Granted. Your post count begins to rise, and rise, and rise, until it is so high that it breaks the forums. Congratulations.

I wish Yrkidding would spam more.
 
Granted. My post count begins to rise, and rise, and rise, until it is so high that it breaks the forums. Congratulations.

I wish Kasch proves (or continues to prove) to be a good minister.
 
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