The Flemingovian Hymn Book

A submission for flemingovia's approval, revision, or disapproval:

[video]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_0Nm0vf1W9Q[/video]

[Chorus]
I send a pestilence and coup
Into your house, into your bed
Into your streams, into your streets
Into your drink, into your bread
Upon your cattle, on your sheep
Upon your oxen in your field
Into your dreams, into your sleep
Until you break, until you yield
I send the swarm, I send the horde
Thus saith the Lord

[Figs]
Once I called you brother
Once I thought the chance
to make you laugh
Was all I ever wanted...

[Chorus]
I send the thunder from the sky
I send the fire raining down

[Figs]
And even now I wish that Flem
had chose another
Serving s your foe on his behalf
Is the last thing that I wanted...

[Chorus]
I send a hail of burning ice
On ev'ry field, on ev'ry town

[Figs]
This was my home
All this pain and devastation
How it tortures me inside
All the innocent who suffer
From your stubbornness and pride...

[Chorus]
I send the locusts on a wind
Such as the world has never seen
On ev'ry leaf, on ev'ry stalk
Until there's nothing left of green
I send my scourge, I send my sword
Thus saith the Lord!

[Figs]
You who I called brother
Why must you call down another blow?

[Chorus]
I send my scourge, I send my sword

[Figs]
Let my region go

[Figs and Chorus]
Thus saith the Lord

[Pharaoh]
You who I called brother
How could you have come to hate me so?
Is this what you wanted?

[Chorus]
I send the swarm, I send the horde...

[Pharaoh]
Then let my heart be hardened
And never mind how high the cost may grow
This will still be so:
I will never let your region go...

[Chorus]
Thus saith the Lord:

[Figs]
Thus saith the Lord:

[Pharaoh]
I will not...

[Figs, Pharaoh, and Chorus]
Let your (my) region go!

It's time for a new hymn, I think

This one is based on an old Country and Western song: "You'll never leave Harlan alive", rewritten for TNP.

Join in and sing along:

[video]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c9p534Q5hhw[/video]

In the deep dark hills of the North Pacific
That's the place where I trace my bloodline
And it's there I read on a thread long archived
You will never leave TNP alive

Oh, ten years ago I first registered on Old Blue
And I call myself a TNPer with pride.
I fought in our wars and resisted the tyrants
And I’ll never leave TNP alive

When you log on the forum about ten in the morning
And you check in several times a day
And you fill your cup with whatever bitter brew you're drinking
And you spend your life just thinkin' of how to get away

No one ever knew that our region could be stifled
'Til the cosmos from IRC arrived
Waving amendments and new laws they said we’ll crush your spirit
But we’ll never leave TNP alive

Now some sold out cheap and they moved to another region
to a region that did more colours than bland,
I bet the cosmos danced them a jig, laughed and sang a new song
Who said we'd never leave TNP alive

But the times got hard with each and every new law
And ole timers knew what we'd do to survive
He kept our heads down low and let the cosmos run the region
But we never left TNP alive

So we log on the forum about ten in the morning
And we check in several times a day
And we fill our cup with whatever bitter brew we're drinking
And we spend our life just thinkin' of how to get away

So we log on the forum about ten in the morning
And we check in several times a day
And we fill our cup with whatever bitter brew we're drinking
And we spend our life just thinkin' of how to get away

In the deep dark hills of the North Pacific
That's the place where I trace my bloodline
And it's there I read on a thread long archived
You will never leave TNP alive

Interesting. Very interesting.

Makes me cry in my beer.

Heh - I thought more along the lines of Rum instead of Beer.

Perhaps a mixture of the two.

Better yet - wine and

Time for another hymn, this time a pean to Groseschnauzer. It was about time.

I considered Grosse should really have a classic dedicated to him, so here is my version of Barry Manilow's "I write the Songs."

So please, Ladies and gentlemen, Give it up for Grosseschnauzer's "I write the laws."

[video]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0VH2SVes0E8[/video]

(spoken) “Thank you for the Amendments. Thanks for the Amendments. Thanks for Everything! These are our laws, as a tribute to the spirit of ennui.”

I’ve been around forever,
And I wrote the very first laws.
I put the rules and the regulations together,
I am Grosse,
And I write the laws.

I write the laws and to their words I’ll cling.
I write the laws so you can’t change a thing.
I write the laws that make the Justices cry.
I write the laws, I write the laws.

I gave you a constitution,
And so many laws you feel you’ll drown
And you can’t change a single fucking thing
The Bill of Rights will tie you down

(Spoken): “Come on everybody, despair”

I write the laws and to their words I’ll cling.
I write the laws so you can’t change a thing.
I write the laws that make the Justices cry.
I write the laws, I write the laws.

Oh my laws makes you dance
you want to change, but you haven’t a chance,
I wrote the laws so tight that you can’t move.
Precedent fills my heart,
But common law I will tear apart.
It’s from me it’s for you,
It’s from you, it’s from me,
A way to crush activity.

I write the laws and to their words I’ll cling.
I write the laws so you can’t change a thing.
I write the laws that make the Justices cry.
I write the laws, I write the laws.

I am Grosse, and I write the laws.

I have been promoting Flemingovianism in TNP for over two years now, to the amusement of some and the annoyance of others. To those who have been annoyed enough to want to give me a slap, I have good news.

I have always had a strong vision for the development of Flemingovianism in TNP. I know some of you think it is just a laugh, but I saw huge scope in it for roleplay, for a different sort of judicial system (based on restorative justice and reconciliation rather than punishment and confrontation) and yes, maybe even ultimately a form of government that was less like a first year politics class debating society.

the failure of the recent constitutional amendment, and not just the voting but the force of the feeling against it from some, has convinced me that TNP is probably not the right environment in which to develop Flemingovianism any further. I cannot afford the time or the energy for multiple regions, so I had a choice: I could either carry on here banging on about the Flemingovian Mantra and writing the occasional amusing hymn, or I could try again in a different region.

I have decided on the latter.

This is not a snap decision. In some ways the constitutional Amendment vote was my fleece on the ground.

So.... I will still be around in TNP, a bit, but I will not be going on about Flemingovianism any more. I will not be writing here any new hymns or scriptures. I will be getting to know a new region and, hopefully writing hymns and stuff there.

So this is the very last entry in the TNP Flemingovian Hymn Book. it is based on Garth Brooks' song "the Dance" It's a great C&W song.

[video]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k7FRbeaXjvk[/video]

Looking back on the memory of
The hymns we shared in the Temple zone
For a moment the region seemed alright
How could I have known that you'd ever vote to deny?

And now I'm glad I didn't know
The way the vote would end the way it all would go
Our lives are better left to chance I could have missed the pain
But I'd a had to miss the dance

Offering all I had, offering everything
For a moment wasn't I a god?
But if I'd only known how the votes would fall
Hey who's to say you know we might have chanced it all?

And now I'm glad I didn't know
The way the votes would end the way it all would go
Another region might just take a chance. I could have missed the pain
But I'd of had to miss the dance

Yes another region might just take a chance
I could have missed the pain but I'd of had to miss the dance

D:

Well... this is a sad end to Flemingovianism in The North Pacific.

HAIL FLEMINGOVIA!

Very sad to see this coming to an end. I hope you will reconsider.

I am one of the nay voters but I really don't want this to happen.

I think Flemingovianism is an important part of TNP culture and soul, and your texts and hymns are amazing... It will sadden me having to read them anywhere else. But I, both IC and OOC, like and promote secular laws with religion occupying an important but different part of life, not in the legal code.

This feels like an ultimatum to me, and I don't like that feeling.

It is not an ultimatum. It is the communication of a decision.

If it was an ultimatum, I would have been saying this BEFORE the vote closed, in an attempt to influence the vote. Quite deliberately I did not want that to happen.

Oh, great. Now we are going to have to have another special election for yet another Justice.

Don't go, Flem, don't go!

I hope Flem means he's still staying on, but not promoting Flemingovianism in TNP any more.

Which is still a pity

flemingovia:

It is not an ultimatum. It is the communication of a decision.

If it was an ultimatum, I would have been saying this BEFORE the vote closed, in an attempt to influence the vote. Quite deliberately I did not want that to happen.

Click to expand...

Ok, you're right. Ultimatum is not the word.

But still, you're pretty much saying you won't promote Flemingovianism if it isn't the "state" religion anyway, so I guess a future change on the matter could persuade you to come back, or being equally as active on Flemingovianism.

Now I will feel personally guilty for voting by my secular vision of the region if it means you're leaving or neglecting Flemingovianism in TNP.

Who is John Galt...

Amen to that.

thank you

Time for another hymn.

This one is a tribute to all those who say the constitution is about to fall, barbarians will be banging on our gates and heretics are about to have their toenails ripped out just because we passed an act allowing for a little roleplay in our government (which, face it, is all roleplay ANYWAY).

It is based on the Journey classic, "Don't Stop Believing". Sing along.

DON'T STOP REPEALING

[video]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1k8craCGpgs&feature=kp[/video]

The Flemingovian Act
Supposed to have some fun and interact
But they said “We’ll stop this law going anywhere”

They said “let’s get this straight
We don’t believe in church and state!"
They said “We’ll stop this law going anywhere!”

Roman rants and starts to Troll,
Admin “team” just lost control
He wouldn’t stop until he got his way
He went on and on and on and on

“Disestablish!”
Cut-and-Paste from Carolina!
“Keep faith out of the RA!”
Bloody Long Posts
Report the Board to Zetaboards
Spam the forum in the night

Grosse sets out a compromise bill
Romanoffia’s really thrilled
He sees it pays to spam the board just one more time

Might be a game and not real life
But the principle is worth the strife
Say if they don’t repeal the constitution ends!
So they go on and on and on and on

“Disestablish!”
Cut-and-Paste from Carolina!
“Keep faith out of the RA!”
Bloody Long Posts
Report the Board to Zetaboards
Spam the forum in the night

Don't stop repealin’
Religion’s not appealin'
They’re bonkers people, Oh

Don't stop repealin’
Religion’s not appealin'
They’re bonkers people, Oh

Don't stop repealin’
Religion’s not appealin'
They’re bonkers people, Oh

Any thoughts as to a song that could be adapted for a hymn? I would welcome input.

Every time I hear Coldplay's "Viva la Vida," I think it has good bones for a TNP parody.

AN EPIC POEM: PAULWALL AND HIS INCREDIBLE PLAN

There's a story told on the forum
And I'll tell it as best as I can
The story of PaulWall the Attorney General
And of his incredible plan.

It all started off on a warm summer's night
Before the season it changed to fall
When the RA they held an election
And narrowly elected PaulWall

The election was all wrong, we knew all along
The vote, it should really have tied
But the law counts for more than does justice
And the courts take an age to decide

Cos GBM’s vote, it wasn’t official
Her nation had died off, you see
So her vote it was cast by a spectre
Which seems quite illegal to me

So PaulWall was elected unjustly
He acted quickly to seal his ambition
He posted his oath up so quickly
To legitimize his dodgy position

when It all went to court, Paulwall broke down and cried
I've never seen a man in such sorrow
'Cos he likes all the titles and honours
And he might not be AG tomorrow.

Then he had this idea... he'd build up a team
He had it planned down to a tee
Cos the courts could not withstand an almighty band
If all the RA were AAGs.

Back in the forum, they all got to know
'Make me an Assistant, will you?' they'd say
Even PaulWall looked askance, they'd ask, 'Any chance?'
But fair play, like... what could he say?

But the man had a dream of a prosecution team
He was working all hours, fair play!
He spent all of the Summer accepting all comers
Making about fifty a day.

But PaulWall's getting on and his best days are gone
“I can’t meet the demand!” he would say
I’m near on the floor... I can't do no more'
But I need assistant AGs without delay

So he put an ad on the forum
To employ a few men starting Monday
And he started some men, I think about ten
Three shifts and some working Sunday.

They made about three or four hundred
When the night shift was sent 'two 'til ten'
Yes, it was mass production of assistants
And next day all over again

they churned out Attorney General’s Assistants
Far more than were quite strictly planned
So the 'B' shift made Justices with dark glasses
Alsatians, white sticks and tin cans.

Of course, quality wasn’t an issue
If you were crap as a Justice – don’t fret
in PaulWall’s eyes its numbers not quality
He wants as many remasked as he can get.

But then production was brought to a standstill
And the union could quite understand
When management tabled the motion
“Things are getting a bit out of hand!”

“There’s no cases to speak of to prosecute
So many Assistant Attorney Generals are a mob!
Supply is far over demand, lad
When a trial comes you’ll be out of a job!”


I'll never forget the day of the first trial
The likes of I'll ne'er see again
I can see them all, still... coming over the hill
Hundreds and thousands of men.

AAGs were in four double deckers
It was going exactly to plan
And the Justices came in six lorries
With Alsatians, white sticks and tin cans.


And that story is told in the Forum
And I've told it as best as I can
Of PaulWall the Attorney General
And of his Incredible Plan.

Brilliant

Hmmm. Makes me hungry for some Kangaroo Tail Curry.

By now we should be used to bizarre rulings from our justices. But now our court has decided that it is perfectly OK for our Attorney General to be voted in by a voter who was, technically, dead for part of the election. I say “technically” because they have decided that you are only actually dead when the Speaker has taken your pulse and announces that you are dead. Until then, you are alive. So here is a hymn in honour of the recent decision…..

Ghost voters in the RA.

[video]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mynzbmrtp9I[/video]

Yay! I've finally been immortalized in song. Love, love, love it!

Queen Astarial recently ordered, in a judgement by the Fiqh, that both Mcm and myself should “write a hymn to Flemingovia”.
This is actually quite hard. I am, by nature, a modest and humble person as everyone knows, and to write a hymn to myself did not come naturally. But I have done my best.
In accordance with Queen Astarial’s wishes, here is my hymn, based on the old Willy Wonka classic, the Candyman.

[video]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AIPGyKGuWeA[/video]

Who’s the God of TNP? The one you can turn to?
Who can answer all your prayers and do a miracle or two?
Flemingovia, Oh Flemingovia can
Flemingovia can 'cause he mixes it with love and makes religion taste good

Who can get religion, passed by the RA?
Cause Roman to go ape in a ridiculous display,
Flemingovia, Oh Flemingovia can
Flemingovia can 'cause he mixes it with love and makes religion taste good

Flemingovia makes state religion work, without even barely trying
Tho’ Roman was prophesying, the region would by now be dying.

Oh, who can take attorneys, tie them up in knots?
the AG can’t say much because the assistant calls the shots.
Flemingovia, Oh Flemingovia can
Flemingovia can 'cause he mixes it with love and makes religion taste good

Flemingovia makes state religion work, without even barely trying
Tho’ Roman was prophesying, the region would by now be dying.

Yeah, yeah, yeah
Who can make a monarch, over us to reign?
Astarial’s a queen now as the Lord God did ordain
Flemingovia, Oh Flemingovia can
Flemingovia can 'cause he mixes it with love and makes religion taste good
Yes, Flemingovia can 'cause he mixes it with love and makes religion taste good

IN TNP at the moment there is an alarming trait to hit the report button or run to the courts as often as once people used to run crying to their mummy that they had fallen over and have another boo-boo.

This hymn mentions no names, but it is inspired by recent activity in the courthouse …. Let’s say over the past week or so.

I call it “Bring another case.” It’s inspired by the Meghan Trainor song, “all about that bass.”

Caution: if you watch the video the song will be rattling round in your head all day.

[video]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7PCkvCPvDXk[/video]


Bring another case

Because you know
I’ll bring another case
another case, no trouble
I’ll bring another case
another case, no trouble
I’ll bring another case
another case, no trouble
I’ll bring another case
another case

Yeah, it's pretty clear, I can’t argue against you
But I can take it, take it
To the court and prosecute you
'Cause I think the law of the region is my own personal tool
With an assistant attorney general to see the case through.

If I use the words “fraud” and “misconduct”
I don’t know what the law means
But it might make you stop
If I took a case to court, A charge that’s been trumped up
And if I chuck in words like “pursuant”
You won’t realise that it’s crap.

Yeah, the assisatant AG told me not to worry about your rights
He says, "just shout about the oligarchy and see who bites."
Whine how you are mistreated and beat your breast
It’s the only chance you have to pick up votes in this contest.

So you know I’ll
Bring another case
another case, no trouble
I’ll bring another case
another case, no trouble
I’ll bring another case
another case, no trouble
I’ll bring another case
another case
Hey!

The AG kicked it back
I think I need a new attack
We’ve a law against conspiracy so I might try that
But I'm here to tell ya
I’ll shout about about conspiracy from the bottom to the top

Yeah, the assisatant AG told me not to worry about your rights
He says, "just shout about the oligarchy and see who bites."
Whine how you are mistreated and beat your breast
It’s the only chance you have to pick up votes in this contest

Because you know I'm
All about that case
another case, no trouble
I’ll bring another case
another case, no trouble

I’ll bring another case
another case, no trouble
I’ll bring another case
another case

Because you know I'm
All about that case
another case, no trouble
I’ll bring another case
another case, no trouble
I’ll bring another case
another case, no trouble
I’ll bring another case
another case

Because you know I'm
All about that case
another case, no trouble
I’ll bring another case
another case, no trouble
I’ll bring another case
another case, no trouble
I’ll bring another case
another case
another case, another case
Hey, hey, ooh
You know you like this bass

Flemingovia... so young... so angry...



But delightfully funny at times.

Flemingovia don't blaspheme "All about the bass" please

Romanoffia:

Flemingovia... so young... so angry...



But delightfully funny at times.

Click to expand...

[video]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bpMv76SIUhg[/video]

There's a place in the world for the angry young man
With his working class ties and his radical plans
He refuses to bend he refuses to crawl
And he's always at home with his back to the wall
And he's proud of his scars and the battles he's lost
And struggles and bleeds as he hangs on his cross
And likes to be known as the angry young man

Give a moment or two to the angry young man
With his foot in his mouth and his heart in his hand
He's been stabbed in the back he's been misunderstood
It's a comfort to know his intentions are good
And he sits in his room with a lock on the door
With his maps and his medals laid out on the floor
And he likes to be known as the angry young man

I believe I've passed the age of consciousness and righteous rage
I found that just surviving was a noble fight
I once believed in causes too
I had my pointless point of view
And life went on no matter who was wrong or right

I dedicate this piece by Billy Joel to you great god of The Pacific of The North.

Excellent song. I prefer Aqualung by Jethro Tull.

Your songs are Amazing Flemingovia!!!

Make the most of them while they last.

I hereby convert.

I gave split off topic posts. You can still find them in the temple courts.