The Flemingovian Hymn Book

"Voting forum style
It had to be done
[video]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9bZkp7q19f0[/video]

Voting forum style
Forum style

We want to hold a vote to decide on liberations
But some people who come over here got democracy fixation
they think that if they can’t vote it is a depravation
Even if another region has their WA nation

The judges ruled
But that was not the end of the debate
The Judges ruled,
But you’d have thought they declared a police state
The Judges ruled.
But the pressure did not abate
The Judges ruled, yes the judges ruled

We had a policy which made us happy
But the Bill of Rights hey The Bill of rights hey
They kept saying it had been broken
The Bill of Rights oh yes the bill of rights hey
So they kept on nagging at the justices……
……
…….
Voting forum style

forum style

Vote-vo-vo-vo Voting forum style

forum style

Flem- sexy admin
Vote-vo-vo-vo Voting forum style

Flem- sexy admin
Vote-vo-vo-vo eh!

If we don’t let them vote then they’ll go on complaining
And the justices will soon find it just too draining
But they won’t stop until some influence they’re gaining
in every single region where residency they’re claiming

The judges ruled
But that was not the end of the debate
The Judges ruled,
But you’d have thought they declared a police state
The Judges ruled.
But the pressure did not abate
The Judges ruled, yes the judges ruled

We had a policy which made us happy
But the Bill of Rights hey The Bill of rights hey
They kept saying it had been broken
The Bill of Rights oh yes the bill of rights hey
So they kept on nagging at the justices……

……
…….

Voting forum style
forum style

Vote-vo-vo-vo Voting forum style
forum style

Flem - sexy admin
Vote-vo-vo-vo Voting forum style

Flem- sexy admin
Vote-vo-vo-vo eh!

The raiders they, come in and claim a say
Baby baby
Tell our delegate wht to say? It’s not OK!

Then Defenders they, come in and claim a say
Baby baby
Tell our delegate what to say? It’s not OK!

You know what i’m saying

Voting forum style!

Flem- sexy admin
Voting forum style

Flem- sexy admin
Voting forum style!​



​
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WE ARE SPIRITS

[video]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cDs9zbiumDc[/video]

Of all the songs I have adapted for the hymn book, this one needed least editing. The Police have said it all, really.....

There is no political solution
To our troubled evolution
Have no faith in constitution
There is no bloody revolution

We are spirits in Flemingovia's world
Are spirits in Flemingovia's world
Are spirits in Flemingovia's world
Are spirits in Flemingovia's world

Our so-called leaders speak
With words they try to jail you
They subjugate the meek
But it's the rhetoric of failure

We are spirits in Flemingovia's world
Are spirits in Flemingovia's world
Are spirits in Flemingovia's world
Are spirits in Flemingovia's world

Where does the answer lie?
in the words that Flemingovia say
If it's something we can't buy
He shows us a better way

We are spirits in Flemingovia's world
Are spirits in Flemingovia's world
Are spirits iFlemingovia's world
Are spirits in Flemingovia's world
 
I've got a great video of me getting ejected from the back of a horse during a croupade that went wrong.

This is a croupade without a rider:

croupade.jpg


Now, picture a rider on the horse's back, and the rider not quite seated properly (and thus going airborne). :lol:
 
A hymn in honour of Blue Wolf’s application to join the Security Council of TNP. As sung by Grossescnauzer….


Based on “I hear you knocking” by the Dave Edmunds Band. (p.s. If you don’t know the song, watch the video anyway – it is a classic)

[video]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ry2td7q5ZMc[/video]



You planned to coup the region long time ago
Now your knocking on my door
I hear you knocking
But you can't come in
I hear you knocking
Go back where you been

The SC in this region needs to be kept pure
I block all applications just to make it sure
I hear you knocking
But you can't come in
I hear you knocking
Go back where you been

Last time you tried for office, right before you stood
Elu published a private log and fucked you over good
I hear you knocking
But you can't come in
I hear you knocking
Go back where you been

So take this as a warning before it’s too late
Or Robert Bork has nothing on your fate
I hear you knocking
But you can't come in
I hear you knocking
Go back where you been
 
FIFTY SEVEN JUSTICES AND NOTHING'S DONE


[video]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5scpDev1qps[/video]


I joined the TNP forum and joined in the RA
Thought that would be enough to get me my say
Put myself up as a justice when they asked for volunteers
Got settled in for the long haul cos trials last for years
No trial is ever lost, no trial is ever won
Cos there’s fifty-seven justices but nothin’s done

Well now all I really wanted was a trial to hear
But all the other justices they started to disappear
We kept on getting mistrials and it was all because
None of the fracking justices seemed to understand our laws
No trial is ever lost, no trial is ever won
Cos there’s fifty-seven justices but nothin’s done


I don’t want you to mistake frustration for plain old pique
But the only place where things get done is in the goddam Fiqh.
JAL’s been on trial for years now, he’s the court’s favourite son
Cos there’s fifty-seven justices but nothin’s done


I got PM’s from Govindia says there’s been election fraud
Mcm promised an election, but the system it was flawed
So we got Roman on the cabinet even though he goddam lost
Cos McM won’t work with Govindia, not at any cost.
No point complaining to the courts now, the case will never be won
Cos there’s fifty-seven justices but nothin’s done


I can see by your eyes friend you're just about gone
Cos there’s fifty-seven justices but nothin’s done
 
Romanoffia:
I've got a great video of me getting ejected from the back of a horse during a croupade that went wrong.

This is a croupade without a rider:

croupade.jpg


Now, picture a rider on the horse's back, and the rider not quite seated properly (and thus going airborne). :lol:
Click to expand...
Oh it must hurt.. :unsure:

Nice lyrics Flem ;)
 
Actually, getting launched into the air doesn't hurt - it's that sudden stop when you hit the ground that does! :lol:

Excellent parody, Flem!
 
Good Morning Judge

On 2nd March I was nominated for all three justice positions AND the role of Attorney general. This was greeted with great enthusiasm by the general population of TNP.

I accepted the nomination, and ran on a platform of reforming our laugingstock of a court system.

However, the machinery of the Oligarchy recognised a threat, and moved swiftly to counter it. Within 24 hours one of the other candidates, Iro, abused his position within the court system to attempt to remove my name from the ballot. When it was obvious that this was doomed to failure, one of the election commissioners simply unilaterally moved my name off the list of accepted candidates.

That is the way democracy works in TNP.

So this song is my response. It is based on the 10CC classic.

[video]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ak4psFYqVPY[/video]

Well
Good morning Judge
How are you today ?
The court’s in trouble, please just let me say
I want some change cos it’s a pile of cack
Couldn’t run – I was blocked by Cormac

Couldn’t run – I was blocked by Cormac

Couldn’t run – I was blocked by Cormac

Couldn’t run – I was blocked by Cormac

He cannot do it
He can’t be there

He cannot change it
It isn’t fair

Well good morning Judge
Yes I'm back again

I want some change so please let me explain

I tried to run for all four jobs
But the EC’s are a bunch of knobs.

The EC’s are a bunch of knobs.

The EC’s are a bunch of knobs.

The EC’s are a bunch of knobs.

He cannot do it
He can’t be there

He cannot change it
It isn’t fair

I cannot do it
I can’t be there

I cannot change it
It isn’t fair

So TNP I can confirm your fears
We’ll carry on, trials will still last for years
The faces will change but the system’s the same
and in six months they will all dodge the blame

The system’s cack – but you know who to blame

Trials last for months – but no one takes the blame

Adjourn for weeks - but the system’s the same
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Nothing Compares 2U

The angry and sorrowful response of the people of TNP to the knowledge that they will not be permitted by the powers in the region to vote for a candidate who offers real change in this judicial election has been swift.

Here is their response, a lament in song. It is based on a Sinead O'Connor song. It perfectly expresses the mood of the region (except for those whose power is being protected).


[video]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iUiTQvT0W_0[/video]

It took Cormac Stark less than a day
To take Flem’s nomination away
I read the forum every night and every day
Since they took Flem’s name away
Since it’s been gone I vote for whoever I want
But the one I want I cannot choose
I can watch a trial last for months and months
But nothing
I said nothing can take away these blues
'Cause nothing compares
Nothing compares to you

It'll be such a farce without you here
Our system is broken beyond repair
Nothing can stop these angry tears from falling
Tell me baby, why is it so wrong?
I can vote for any candidate I see
But they'd only remind me of you
I went to Cormac and guess what he told me?
Guess what he told me?
He said you better vote for who we let you
That’s what you do
But he's a fool

'Cause nothing compares
Nothing compares to you

All the rules that you planted, Grosse
In the legal code
have screwed us up when you went away
I know that reforming the courts is sometimes hard
But I was willing to give it another try

Flem,Nothing compares
Nothing compares to you
Nothing compares
Nothing compares to you
Nothing compares
Nothing compares to you


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They're taking the piss at Election time

For some time I have been pondering how I can sum up in a hymn the sheer mind-numbing length and cack-ness of the legal system in TNP. Thanks to a suggested tune by Gaspo, I think I have come up with it.

This is the longest Hymn I have ever written, as a tribute to the TNP v Grosse trial.

[video]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z9Uz1icjwrM[/video]

They’re taking the piss at election time
They’re taking the piss at election time
They’re taking the piss at election time
They’re taking the piss at election time
They’re taking the piss at election time
They’re taking the piss at election time
They’re taking the piss at election time
Time, time, time, time
They’re taking the piss at election time
Time, time, t-time, time
They’re taking the piss at election time
They’re taking the piss at election time
They’re taking the piss at election time
What do you say?
The piss, the piss, the piss, the piss at election time, election time
The piss, the piss, the piss, the piss at election time, election time
The piss, the piss, the piss, the piss at election time, election time
They’re taking the piss at election time, time, t-t-t-time.
Tell me where is Grosse, for I much desire to speak with him?
Tell me where is Grosse, for I much desire to speak with him?
They blocked Flem’s nomination
What do you say?
They blocked Flem’s nomination
What do you say?
They’re taking the piss at election time
Stupid legal system
They’re taking the piss at election time
Stupid legal system
They’re taking the piss at election time
They’re taking the piss at election time
They’re taking the piss at election time
Stupid legal system
They’re taking the piss at election time
They’re taking the piss at election time
They’re taking the piss at election time
They’re taking the piss at election time
They’re taking the piss at election time
They’re taking the piss at election time
They’re taking the piss at election time
Time, time, time, time
They’re taking the piss at election time
Time, time, t-time, time
They’re taking the piss at election time
They’re taking the piss at election time
They’re taking the piss at election time
What do you say?
The piss, the piss, the piss, the piss at election time, election time
The piss, the piss, the piss, the piss at election time, election time
The piss, the piss, the piss, the piss at election time, election time
They’re taking the piss at election time, time, t-t-t-time.
Tell me where is Grosse, for I much desire to speak with him?
Tell me where is Grosse, for I much desire to speak with him?
They blocked Flem’s nomination
What do you say?
They blocked Flem’s nomination
What do you say?
They’re taking the piss at election time
Stupid legal system
They’re taking the piss at election time
Stupid legal system
They’re taking the piss at election time
They’re taking the piss at election time
They’re taking the piss at election time
Stupid legal system

(repeat several times)




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I will wait for you

The TNP Courts take so long that trials are measured in geological epochs. We all understand that and have come to accept this as the norm.

What is new is that justices and Attorneys General have started getting so snitty and defensive about criticism of their performance. It is almost as though the Fiqh is showing them up, isn't it?

Anyway, to reassure them that we will be patient, I have written a new hymn. It is based on the Mumford and Sons hit "I will wait for you."

[video]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rGKfrgqWcv0[/video]


I brought a case in good faith
And I thought the hearing would not take long
I was naïve, to believe
That the court would right my wrong.

And I'll keep quiet; wait for now
And I'll keep quiet; know my ground

And I will wait, I will wait for you
And I will wait, I will wait for you

Get off your arse, and relent
Do more than gripe at discontent.
When we complain at the delays
You sneer at us but don’t change your ways.

But I will wait, I will wait for you
And I will wait, I will wait for you
And I will wait, I will wait for you
And I will wait, I will wait for you

When you hear a plea, it’s like tai chi
It’s so sloooooooow it takes an age.
You say the Fiqh’s not really there
But it’s just a symbol of our despair.

And I'll keep quiet; wait for now
And I'll keep quiet; know my ground

I’d raise my voice, but you’d just snap
And just tell me to shut my trap.
'Cause I will wait, I will wait for you

And I will wait, I will wait for you
And I will wait, I will wait for you
And I will wait, I will wait for you







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We live in interesting days. We support dictators (so long as they are benevolent), we vote in the same old yawn-inducers, and then gripe that nothing changes.

Strange days, indeed.

So as a tribute to these times, I have written a new hymn, based on the John Lennon classic called "Nobody told me." So sing along to TNP BLUES

[video]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gBCdlBrgEmE[/video]

TNP blues (based on John Lennon’s Nobody Told Me)

Everybody's talking about TNP affairs
Everybody's making laws but no one really cares
There's judges in the courtroom giving themselves airs.

Always something happening but the system is all shot
There's always coups a- cooking and nothing in the pot
They're putting Jal on trial again and found another plot.

Nobody told me there'd be days like these
Nobody told me there'd be days like these
Nobody told me there'd be days like these
Strange days indeed
strange days indeed.

Everybody's runnin' but the region never moves
Mall’s declared a winner so common sense now rules
But nothing much will change at all, he’s played us all for fools.

If a dictator is benevolent we shower them with praise
And if the dictator is Asta, well, our glasses we will raise.
This region stood for something once, but now it’s just malaise.

Nobody told me there'd be days like these
Nobody told me there'd be days like these
Nobody told me there'd be days like these
Strange days indeed
most peculiar Mama.

Everybody's cosmopolitan now and gameplay is all bi,
And nobody stands for anything now, there’s nothing to stand by.
No wonder all the best players have gone and said goodbye

Nobody told me there'd be days like these
Nobody told me there'd be days like these
Nobody told me there'd be days like these
Strange days indeed
Most peculiar. Mama.
​
 
Well written as usual, but slightly inaccurate.

Asta has won not one but two votes that were democratic and free from corruption. Hardly a dictator...
 
madjack:
Well written as usual, but slightly inaccurate.

Asta has won not one but two votes that were democratic and free from corruption. Hardly a dictator...
Click to expand...
Thank you, Madjack, for inspiring a new verse:


And Madjack spins the coup so much, he’s rotating all the while
He’s transparent as a sheet of glass but thinks that he’s got guile
But some of us remember when st paul sold dictatorships with style.​
 
If I recognize both the ones that people are too young for and the ones that people are too old for, what does that make me :) ?

This is hilarious. Great job.
 
I chose my words carefully, wondering who would pick up on it.

"Sir Paul" is too secular a title for a hymn book. I think his accomplishments in the field of news writing warrant canonisation.
 
Many years ago, when your parents were young, there was a programme on British TV called “Not the Nine O’clock News.” Students, especially, loved the show, which was a mix of sketches and songs. One song, in particular, seemed perfect for current events in TNP.
Since Grosse’s defence in his current trial seems to be that you can say what the f*ck you like so long as you preface it with the words “I believe”, we enter a new era in TNP.
In honour of this I have adapted an old Not the Nine O’clock News song. It is called “I believe”

[video]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O7eCUEfb7U0[/video]

I believe that the Constitution is quite good
I believe John Ashcroft Land’s been misunderstood
I believe that bears do really shit in woods
I believe, yes, I believe.

I’m prepared to believe Gracius Maximus’ quite retirin’
I’m prepared to believe that the Bill of Right is inspirin’
I believe that Tyler Kazakov is mature
I believe that the Regional Assemblyis secure

Yes, I believe that our Constitution is clever
That all our trials should go on forever
and our defender links are the ones that we should sever.
And Flemingovia is actually an unbeliever.

I believe that passing on a password aint a cheat.
And the Untouchables are the region’s elite
I believe that UDL men really are merry
And I believe raiders will one day lose their cherry.

I believe there’s benevolent rule now in Osiris,
And that masturbation can give you the herpes virus
I believe that the Black Hawks contains some adults
I believe our Judicial system really can deliver results

And I believe that Eluvatar should be exempt…….

But I can't that Grosseschnauzer is innocent​
 
I offered free use of my hymns in the TNP regional update. I thought it would help counter the world opinion that TNP was a bit full of itself. However, I discover that my hymns are suddently deemed "too long" for inclusion. ((nothing to do with the content, then? :fish: ))

Since the use of the spoiler tag seems beyond the government, I have written a special hymn that should be short enough for inclusion:

[video]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VepjINQlqnE[/video]


THE GOVERNMENT-APPROVED HYMN
Some hymns are very, very long
This one isn't. ​
 
madjack:
Well written as usual, but slightly inaccurate.

Asta has won not one but two votes that were democratic and free from corruption. Hardly a dictator...
Click to expand...
remind me again how many elections Venico has won?
 
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