OPBlogsenal III

More goodness from Tycho. Context is neccessary. A few weeks ago, Gabe and Tycho and Kiko (one of their legal/fucking awesome guys) discovered that a small independent gaming company called Pink Godzilla liked to play ping-pong. The PA! fellas love them some ping-pong and they beat the Pink Godzilla team. Like a rented mule. Shortly afterward, Gabe issued a testosterone-laced challenge, which basically equated to "if you're in the industry and you think you got the skills, then bring it, bitches." Well... They have brought it. As Tycho put it, "the forest rings with [the wolves'] baying." Which leads me to today's genius.

Tycho Brahe:
As I understand it, we are to face off against "Smed's Best," which... I don't know. I'm kind of scared that they have a name. If they have jerseys too, I think we might be fucked. Then again, I wasn't present when they calibrated these people so I can't really verify their status. We have been so cruel so consistently to his organization that I'm glad we were able to discover a murder-free venue for the cessation of hostilities.

I have been kind to our foes thus far because I am polite. It is a failing I have worked in desperation to remedy. But those who get within range of my backhand should know this: I can drive a ball so quickly and with such intense lateral spin that it will bore straight up your dickhole and kink your Vas Deferens, sterilizing you instantly. You will learn what Pink Godzilla learned before you: bring caskets to haul back your dead. You will hear our cold, clear bell across the courtyard and it will pierce you like a spear.

Swear your oaths! Tell your sons you will never return.
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mental imagination:
This post has been edited by Sydia on Feb 16 2007, 10:01 AM
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Chicken!
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Due to a slip (I wrote agree, rather than angry, for some reason).

Did you call me a...chicken?!
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If Tycho is capable forcibly sterilizing his opponents with a ping pong ball, imagine what Gabe can do to them. Considering his lower level of intellect compared with Tycho, which in turn, theoretically, allows him to be more in tune with his most primal instincts, and the fact that is is sans urethra, I do believe that "Smed's Best", as the call themselves, are in for one hell of a bitchslap. Right in the soon-to-be-defunct baby provider.
 
The italics, man. The ITALICS!!

*IndieGirl clamours frantically back out of the clone jungle and heads for the proverbial hills.

:lol:

And is it just me, or do Gabe and Tycho spend an entirely unorthodox amount of time talking about various states of phalli? (I'm so very hoping that's the plural form of the word. I can't say I've ever had the opportunity to, erm, use it before.)

>_<
 
Oh, you've used it before, you just never knew what they were called, because the only sound that you could force out of your mouth was a slow "Unh.......unh....".

...too subtle?
 
It has been not as long as the previous departure, and yet I feel as Constantine must have felt so many years ago. My empire has been divided, it is sure to fall. My kingdom has been overrun by hordes. IndieVisigoth, ChapstickisVandal, MonumentalMongol, all entered this realm with the hopes of conquest. All were desirous of claiming spoils.

Away with you, demon-spawned lot! I am a son of Hades! I am feared in both places; near and far. I can properly use a semicolon. Whilst others may call out the dogs of war, I call out the ever more awe-inspiring Legions of Grammar. Legio Lingua, if one refers to their proper name.

Or you can stay. Either way, I have cake. Did you hear me? Cake, motherfuckers.

Last night I ate steak. I like steak. I rarely have it, and when I do, it's usually the crappy "all-you-can-eat-buffett" kind and let me one of the first to tell you that while some steak is better than none, the kind that I am accustomed to gives "none" a good run for its literal money. Ate steak, watched Rome with my lady fair. Which is better? "Lady fair," or "lady faire?" I'm not feeling archaic, so the "e" stays at hom today. Gt this funny jok?

Asshols

"Here am I, Caesar, your own soldier everywhere. Now too, if I am permitted, the man who makes ME your enemy, it is he who will be the guilty one." Then he broke the barrier of war and through the swollen river swiftly took his standards. Caesar crossed the flood and reached the opposite bank. From Hisparie's Forbidden Fields he took his standards said, "Here I abandoned peace and desecrated law; fortune it is you I follow. Farewell to treaties. From now on war is our judge!" Hail Caesar! We who are about to die salute you!

(CW)OP out.
[size=-1]a heartless hand on my shoulder[/size]
 
OPArsenal:
Last night I ate steak. I like steak. I rarely have it, and when I do, it's usually the crappy "all-you-can-eat-buffett" kind and let me one of the first to tell you that while some steak is better than none, the kind that I am accustomed to gives "none" a good run for its literal money.
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Who would want to eat Jimmy Buffett?

Also, why do I have to be a fucking mongol?
 
Also, I wrote this on the CN forums. It's for a thread about the funniest gaming moments we've had. Feel free to share your own. Or, your pwn.

So I'm playing Battlefield 2, right? I suck at any kit that isn't medic, which I'm very good at (proud to say). I finally find a decent squard with an active squad leader who leads with some sense and the squad was cohesive and followed orders. Plus, the squad was 100% VOIP. zOMG! All the guys in the squad knew each other, but they let me in because I was the top medic for 2 battles and they didn't have one. Their clan's usual medic had this thing called an "anniversary" that night with a person called his "wife". Whatever.

So this group of guys were really cool and they let me in the squad and we're being fucking tactical about shit. Keeping to cover, not straying out in the open, avoiding artillery, you know... Good soldier-type shit.. Then there came a bit of a watershed moment. We had to walk up a narrow trail that was carved out of the side of a canyon. Rock wall on one side, long drop into a river on the other. We spread out in a line, shoulder to shoulder. Everyone's on alert for helicopters because there's no trees. No aerial cover at all and one well-executed chopper run could take us all out. Those damned dirty Chinese. We start to go over our tactics for taking the next CP. The squad leader hangs back, we set him as our spawn point and hide while the sniper takes to some high ground to watch our backs and potentially eliminate any threats. I am to be cautious in battle and leave many, many healthpacks laying about. If things get hairy, I am to hide and wait for it all to blow over so I can revive my teammates. Anti-tank troops are posted at both ingress and egress points. Let's move.

We're almost at our destination when out of nowhere we hear an engine. It's right upon us.

"FAV!" the squad leader hollers into his headset. And you know... He's right. An enemy fast attack vehicle is bearing down on us. The team scatters. The fellas that made up this squad before I was invited all move in one direction. I don't think, I just jump over the edge. Into the abyss. I've always wanted to BASE jump, and why not now?

The team's discipline almost saved them. They moved to the left as a unit, pressed up against the cliff face. Unfortunately, that's where the FAV went as well. This lucky bastard mowed down my squad like he was bowling and it was "Buds and Bumpers for a Buck" day. I deploy my parachute. As I'm floating down to the river below, my squad is raging over the headset. "Where's the Christing medic?" they ask. I explain the situation and my squad leader explodes. Something about how I wasn't a member of the team and he always knew I would abandon them. Something about not being a part of the team.

I was kicked off the squad, the shortest court-martial in military history. In future matches, I made it a point to hover over their team's dead bodies with my defribillator paddles ready, revival a mouse click away. And I watched them all die. Bastards.
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OPArsenal:
Last night I ate steak.  I like steak.  I rarely have it, and when I do, it's usually the crappy "all-you-can-eat-buffett" kind and let me one of the first to tell you that while some steak is better than none, the kind that I am accustomed to gives "none" a good run for its literal money.  Ate steak, watched Rome with my lady fair.  Which is better?  "Lady fair," or "lady faire?"  I'm not feeling archaic, so the "e" stays at hom today.  Gt this funny jok?
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"God only knows where she is"

:rofl:

I am so glad she is gone.
 
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