Indie's Inanities

He doesn't look a thing like Jesus but he talks like a gentleman like you imagined when you were young.

Everything I say is pertinent.

It's okay... I'm a dentist.
 
I'm really sorry.

Really, I am.

If there's anything I can do AT ALL in any capacity as your friend then please let me know.

This sucks.
 
Yeah, this totally sucks. I just...need space to figure my life out right now, and naturally he took it super-personally, when it wasn't him or us at all... it's just me. I need to figure me out. And I feel awful about hurting him, because that's the last thing I wanted to do.

Good news though, now that I renegged my cingular plan, they hacked 800$ off my 1200 bill, so I only owe 400 something. AND Now I have 1350 daytime minutes, unlimited nights and weekends, unlimited text/internet... and it's still cheaper than it would have been to pay off all that I owed.

The bad news...now I have no one to talk to anymore. Maybe that's a good thing.

I'm going to see Jackass 2 again tonight and have dinner with friends.

This week has already run the gamut of crap to great and back again.



Rollercoasters blow. I should try something that works...like...getting out of the goddamn amusement park and on the high road to progress.
 
OPArsenal:
Blackshear:
Just dropped by to hullo to one of my internet idols.

Hullo.  :hello:
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Hi, how are you?
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Effwords! You blog slash compliment hijacker. Jerkface. :P

You know he was talking to me, and you can't stand it. :fish:


Hullo back, BS. :hug: Do you realize you're my oldest NS friend? I talked to you before anyone else. That should make you feel special. Among all the other reasons, of course, but you were like...with the band before the band hit it bigtime. :lol:


In other news, IG has been pondering the probability of fading quietly into the NS night, becoming legend, and then myth, and then a fascinatingly absurd bedtime story or such. I just have no computer time, and feel like I'm not quite contributing to our community the way that I really want to be.

My good friend Jason went out and got a tattoo from his friend last night after he'd gotten hammered.

He now has a 7-11 Big Gulp(tm) the size of a business card above his right ankle.

This morning I hung out at Dave's house and played Battlefield II with Scott and Dave and Jason on the bigass projector. It was so much fun.

I think I'm really really starting to like Scott. And he's been hitting on me like crazy. We went and saw Jackass 2 Tuesday night, it was so much fun. And ever since then he keeps sending me random text messages and stuff and we hang out and shoot stuff. I have found me another Battlefront II addict to spend time with. And that makes me happy.

More poetry, by the way. One I scribbled out in my sketchbook because I thought I wanted to draw, but it turns out I felt like writing. I keep forgetting my notebook. I'll bring it tomorrow morning and post the other stuff.


nocturne

here we are: you, me
and a sliver of moon.

you decorate yourself with the quiet sentiment
that twilight loves, but it could be just me.

i still see you through all of
this forgetting.

feel the wind like your tousled head - cool
empty thoughts that are full of me.

if you could just stop
looking like destiny.

rub your face when i leave your sight.

i promise not to say i am yours again,

unless, i ever am.





Cheers kids. Listen to T. Rex's Marc Bolan singing Lean Woman Blues and think of me. ^_^


IG
 
IndieGirl:
Hullo back, BS. :hug: Do you realize you're my oldest NS friend? I talked to you before anyone else. That should make you feel special. Among all the other reasons, of course, but you were like...with the band before the band hit it bigtime. :lol:
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Ah, I believe we met in Oz's cafe during the three days of my RP career. Nastic, Magicality, OPA, Tresville, us. That place was hopping. The only thing that place was missing was live music. :band:
 
Sounds like things are going well. I hope by Battlefront you mean the one of the star wars variety (I don't know if another exists but I like my feet on the ground and not in my mouth). That is a cool game.
 
^_^ Yeah, she's his real girlfriend.

Though if she were his sister, he might like that. He and I had a conversation about thats ort of thing once. :ph34r:

I just get to call her "new girl" because she on my turf now, bitches.

And yeah, I was talking about Star Wars Battlefront II. It's fun to xbox live with, too.




More poetry:

bouts of barstool losing

you said
stargirl
reminded you of susan,

but it was me
i wanted to show you,
or i would have kept
her
secret.

it's two months and i,
restless, flick
through my backup boys
like your deck
of magic cards.

it's easier to turn
the volume

up.

jason sings me:
this little star
wishes she

weren't single.
sings:
you are alert

as a tigress
at a common table

with her fates.

days are spent
with you fleajumping
the neurons of my consciousness.

and that other boy
washes this one
in your backstory -
in my

backstory
of you.

and Hermes
takes a .12-gauge
in the winged shoe

carrying my
petition

to Olympus, the
(ye) gods.

to the Zeus i used
to know

who'd turn into a cow
and pick up chicks.

and i'll nurse the sidelines,
with

you hammocked
in your ignorance.

i stand here:
irony.

you'll wake up
wet
in cobwebs

realizing it's your
blood
between the sheets.




Argh, back to work. :pinch:


Love ya, kids.

IG








IGEdit: Syntactical Damage
 
Current Mood: Pre-sprung, edgy, tense. Antsy, perhaps. Somber, but brewing.
Current Song: Pissing by Low
(Lyrics: I can't see. Sing the darker of pissing on my toes. Knowing what I know I know. I'm waiting like a loyal whore. Under every stone
Lovers sleep alone. Alone. Alone. Lovers sleep alone. Alone. Alone.)
Current Game: KOTOR II
Current Book: Ariel - Sylvia Plath
Current Random Quirk: Sucking on my bottom lip.
Current Obsession: Scott Dean
Current Poem:
April 18th by Sylvia Plath:
the slime of all my yesterdays
rots in the hollow of my skull

and if my stomach would contract
because of some explicable phenomenon
such as pregnancy or constipation

I would not remember you

or that because of sleep
infrequent as a moon of greencheese
that because of food
nourishing as violet leaves
that because of these

and in a few fatal yards of grass
in a few spaces of sky and treetops

a future was lost yesterday
as easily and irretrievably
as a tennis ball at twilight
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Today is hard. It's raining outside and it fits my mood, but I don't feel like I fit into my skin and my life right now. Andrea called me this morning to tell me that Su had a miscarriage, and that's why she wasn't at work half of last week. Last week was the first time I heard that Dan had quit all his jobs because going to school for 18 credits this semester at Su's urging is taking up all of his time. He and I haven't talked in a month. He doesn't need me anymore, and it's odd to feel that sort of letting go. It was just wierd, because last night I had my dream again... the one where I'm stuck taking care of their unwanted baby because I have nothing better to do with my life, and I'm the only person out of the awkward three of us who cares about it. It was different than usual, though. A lot darker, more tense and full of undercurrents in the flow of things. Winds of change are stirring mid-October. I love this time of year, because the world turns shadow and grey and you feel every breath and going outside makes your skin tingle. I get my best writing this time of year. I feel like writing something right now, but nothing good will come out. There's a poem stuck in me, and I'm too preoccupied to get it out right.

Last night I went for a walk with Scott, and we talked about stuff. About life. It was our first really serious talk, and it was interesting. He has a lot of the same feelings about things that I do. The same kind of questions, the same kind of reclining doubts. We went to his car when it started to rain, and talking led to other things. I really, really like him, but I wonder if it's just some sort of compensation for the hole of recent pasts inside of me.

Everyone gets hungry for things.

So I took my guitar
and I threw down some chords,
and some words I could sing without shame.

And I soon had a song,
I played it around
for some friends but they all said the same:

They said, "Music's for fools,
you should go back to school.
The future is prisons in math."

So I did what they said.
Now my children are fed,
'cause they pay me to do what I'm asked.

I forgot all my songs.
The words now were wrong,
and I burned my guitar in a rage.

But the fire came to rest
in your white velvet breast,
so somehow I just know that it's safe...

- "Death of a Salesman" by Low







IGEdit: Giving credit where credit is due, so it's all less confusing. ^_^
 
You know, sometimes I think we lost something very special here when you stopped being able to spam quite as much. And then you go and post something like that, and remind me we haven't lost anything at all.

:unsure:

I'll stop being nice now, makes me itch...
 
If this guy has the same world views as you and stuff, then he doesnt exactly sound like the hole-filling type. just run with it poeser, remember, no regrets for either of us?

And i got the same "your ex has moved on and doesnt need you anymore" vibe at lunch yesterday. but looks like you dont need dan anymore either, what with scott on the scene.
 
syber rad:
If this guy has the same world views as you and stuff, then he doesnt exactly sound like the hole-filling type. just run with it poeser, remember, no regrets for either of us?

And i got the same "your ex has moved on and doesnt need you anymore" vibe at lunch yesterday. but looks like you dont need dan anymore either, what with scott on the scene IN MY PANTS.
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Fixed your post.

Glad to see you here.
 
Awww....

*IndieGirl sniffles.

Thanks kids. You make me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

...it tickles. :blink: ( <-- I love that smiley.)



untitled

and what if i had told you nothing
of the way he ran through me?

would you have ever

seen

him?
this little doubt curls
soft and barely breathing,
cradled in my hand.

i stroke it,
and nuzzle it against my cheek

when it's too dark outside
to notice the shadows on
undersides of things.

or the way my loneliness
empties itself,
pearlescent, clear streaming
across my face.

i hang
around:

another pronoun - familiar,

but lacking a name.




:hug: for Syb. No regrets. It's a deal, man. A total deal.
 
OPArsenal:
syber rad:
If this guy has the same world views as you and stuff, then he doesnt exactly sound like the hole-filling type. just run with it poeser, remember, no regrets for either of us?

And i got the same "your ex has moved on and doesnt need you anymore" vibe at lunch yesterday. but looks like you dont need dan anymore either, what with scott on the scene IN MY PANTS.
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Fixed your post.

Glad to see you here.
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how could i forget to IMP my own post. thanks man.

and i've been here a couple of months, just hanging round in the shadows :ph34r:
 
IndieGirl:
I'm still researching that Wii(tm) stuff! (in my pants)
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HA!

i thought you'd moved on to big girl pants now?

Thanks heaps for looking into it for me. just got an email saying 'nam was a no go so looks like i'll now have plenty of time for zelda, and flirting with hot babes ;)
 
syber rad:
...looks like i'll now have plenty of time for zelda [in my pants]...
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No problem! :( I'm sorry to hear that Nam thing went bust! :console:

No news today, other than I'm sitting at work on a faulty computer that no one can come fix for another hour... I'd leave early and go see a movie, but I did that yesterday.

School For Scoundrels is lame, FYI. <_<
 
GET OUT OF MY DAMN BLOG, YOU REPLY-JACKER! :redflag:

:P

Seriously. Stop commenting before I get to! It's becoming rather annoying. Why don't you post in your own blog?! Oh right...you deleted moved it. <_<

So, yeah... Talked to Scott again yesterday. Hung out at his house. It was nice. I really like him. I think we might be dating, but neither of us have said anything about it...

Pleh. It's back to work time already. *sniffle*

Got an email from Sydia today, though. Made me ^_^
 
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