The Security Council,
Aware of the existence of annual nuclear apocalypses, also known as "N-Day," where groups called "factions" compete with each other for nuclear dominance; these nuclear apocalypses being so prominent that this august body passed
Security Council Resolution #369 to bring attention to this phenomenon,
Asserting that the sixth instance of N-Day has recently concluded across the multiverse,
Thankful that the home of the Security Council has been left relatively undamaged,
Observing, however, that one faction stood alone atop the smoldering wasteland of the multiverse, a feat never before seen,
Astounded to declare that the faction known as “Crabs of the Apocalypse,” henceforth known as “COTA,” has summarily obliterated any other faction that stood in their way in a devastating show of nuclear power,
Dismayed that COTA claimed an overwhelming victory against the only other faction who rose to challenge them in an attempt to save the multiverse from annihilation, “The Potato Alliance,”
Distraught that, while The Potato Alliance may have included some of the most expansive regions of nations in the multiverse, they stood no chance against the might of COTA,
Acknowledging that COTA and TPA had a mutual defense pact for the first twelve hours of the nuclear apocalypse, which turned into a non-aggression pact until hour fourteen,
Lauding the bravery of the spuds of The Potato Alliance for using all of their strength in one final, desperate attack against COTA by providing notice that they were breaking the non-aggression pact,
Heartbroken that even after the final stand of The Potato Alliance, COTA sustained little damage and responded with a devastating counterattack that filled TPA to the brim with radiation,
Noting that the smell of baked potatoes will linger across the multiverse for months to come,
Flabbergasted that once COTA was assured in their dominance, they were able to create many satellite factions that stood stalwart against the multiverse’s most desperate and ultimately futile attacks, displaying a victory for crabs everywhere across the top of the multiverse; the top ten factions in nuclear dominance, as ranked by the world census, were in fact puppet factions of COTA, showing the sheer, terrifying power of crabs,
Further nothing that, even though evolution dictates all beings must become crabs, nuclear annihilation was an extremely problematic way to cause this inevitability to come to pass,
Curious about the implications this overwhelming show of strength will have on the phenomenon known as “N-Day” in future occurrences,
Terrified that no faction will ever be able to match the strength of COTA for as long as N-Day ensues across the multiverse,
Timidly congratulating COTA for their domination of almost every sphere of nuclear warfare during the event,
Hereby declares Crabs of the Apocalypse as the most powerful nuclear faction to ever terrorize the multiverse.
