The Security Council,
Happy to read resolutions in compliance with Read the Resolution Act, authored under the aegis of the ever-active World Assembly delegation from Knootoss,
Drawing forth from the darkest corners of memory, their contributions, shared and otherwise, to international law:
* Read the Resolution Act, promoting engagement between members and the grand organs of the Assembly as a whole and ensuring the employment and self-importance of those many delegates and representatives camping around the Assembly,?
* Reducing Problem Gambling, ensuring treatment for the problems of gambling addiction and its undeniably real effects on families,?
* Permit Male Circumcision, guaranteeing freedom of religion and employment for purveyors of scissors the world over,?
* Recognising Achievements Act, preventing the imposition of non-tariff barriers to human capital transfers and promoting international culture and education,?
* Extradition Rights, protecting the accused from unscrupulous governments attempting bribes or offers of significant reward for the return of certain persons, and?
* Right to Petition, ensuring the right to petition, a necessary and central right to the exercise of political rights the world over, and bringing to the fore those difficult questions that lie at the centre of any real and important political debate,
Raptured in awe of their cooperative efforts with other authors to enact much-necessary legislation and willingness to share the glories at the centre of the world stage, a humility that seems too often absent from the modern General Assembly,
Astonished at their delegation's remarkable intellectual consistency, standing up for self-governance, political freedom, and economic liberty, against the forces of corruption, greed, and thievery,
Applauding their delegation's intellectual achievements, such as introducing to those important international forums, an essay presaging the culmination of the years-long international federalist-national sovereigntist divide, and
Puzzled at why this august Assembly has not yet commended one of its most accomplished members, long the seventh most ancient purveyor of eggnog in times of cheer and bulwark against the ravages of time, hereby
Commends
Knootoss.
