Corrupt-A-Wish

Granted, but the I shot and killed you instead, because the Doraemon universe would not exist if it was like that

I wish to teleport
 
Granted, nice try again!

A police officer accidentally shot you unfortunately, while hunting for me. :p

I wish to get a kill
 
Granted, but you suck at football and made Manchester United lose 2 matches in a row. After that you get kicked out.
I wish for a pizza with nothing on it.
 
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