Corrupt a Wish

Granted. Unfortunately, the only place it works properly is in Siberia.

I wish to become Delegate of The North Pacific.
 
Granted. Unfortunately, you are only Delegate because Gatesville put you there. GBM will ban you soon.

I wish for a good nights sleep!
 
Granted. When you wake up in the morning however, you have a kink in your neck that lasts all day.

I wish for a productive week.
 
Granted, you productively play Minecraft for the next week. Your singleplayer house looks rather nice.

I wish I had some spare batteries for my Xbox controller
 
Granted, but as it's being written by an infinite number of Grosseschnauzers sitting behind an infinite number of typewriters, The Wire is as difficult to comprehend as the Constibillocode.

I wish I got to travel more often.
 
Granted, but you are only allowed to travel to "unstable" parts of the world such as Somalia.

I wish for a real pirate hat.
 
Granted, but the power cord breaks so it does not serve as a lamp.

I wish for a free lunch.
 
Granted. Would you like a giant douche or a turd sandwich for lunch?

I wish I had a mango tree that was producing mangoes right now...
 
Granted. But the Gargoyles come to life and kill you. Vampires take up residence in the castle instead.

I wish that my family was less crazy...
 
Granted, but you're now sitting in prison for the rest of your life.

I wish for a margarita.
 
Granted, they fold themselves around your neck, slowly strangling you until no air reaches your lungs...

I wish for a pair of super-spectacles!
 
Granted, time starts getting faster and you can't keep up.

I wish that all the corruptions of wishes on this thread never occur ;_;
 
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