Ask OPA

OPArsenal

OPArsenal

TNPer
Since there's a certain OTHER advice column that's stagnant, I'll resurrect my own. Bring on the queries!
 
Since Arsenal give £1 million out of the kindness of their hearts to little obscure Belgian clubs for no reason at all (no, sir),

Could my club, the Littlehampton Marigolds, have £50 for a new kettle and dartboard?
 
Southwest Asia:
Do you still beat your wife?
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No, she learned to keep her goddamn mouth shut.

Daimiaena:
Is persecuting aardvarks as illegal in america as it is in england?
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Only if the aardvark in question is a minority. Then it's a hate crime.

Of the US:
im bored what countries should i invade?
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I'd recommend Grammaronia, and try to take as many of their myriad citizens prisoner as possible.

Seele Jager:
dont we have anything better to do?
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Spam more. Obviously. Or maybe give CyberNations (clicky!) a shot. But don't leave us.

flemingovia:
Since Arsenal give £1 million out of the kindness of their hearts to little obscure Belgian clubs for no reason at all (no, sir),

Could my club, the Littlehampton Marigolds, have £50 for a new kettle and dartboard?
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You're lucky I don't report you for flamebaiting. :lol:

Actually, I'm kinda mad that they gave all that money to Anderlect (right?) and didn't get Yaya out of it.
 
Southwest Asia:
Who would name a team Arsenal?
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A brief history of the club from the founding of the club to the formation of the Premier League.

Arsenal was originally formed in 1886 by a group of workers at the Woolwich armaments factory in south London, and the club was first known as Dial Square. The name was soon changed to Royal Arsenal, though when the club turned professional in 1891 the name changed again to Woolwich Arsenal. The prefix was later dropped and the club became Arsenal Football Club. For a period it was popularly known as The Arsenal though this was never the club's official name.

Arsenal was elected to the 2nd division of the Football League in 1893, and gained promotion to the 1st division in 1904. The club survived in the first division for nine years, high points of that period coming in 1906 when the semi-final of the FA Cup was reached, and in 1909 when a 6th place finish in the league was achieved.

Unfortunately, relegation followed in 1913, but coincided with a major landmark in the club's history. Having played for the previous 27 years at various sites in Plumstead, South London, the club moved to its longtime home at Arsenal Stadium, Highbury, North London. The move was instigated by the then-chairman, Sir Henry Norris who foresaw greater potential for the club in the north London catchment area. It almost paid off in the following season when Arsenal missed out on promotion only on goal average, and 5th place was achieved in 1915 before the hiatus caused by the 1st World War.

Promotion back to the 1st division was engineered by the colorful Sir Henry under somewhat contentious circumstances when the Football League resumed in 1919, and Arsenal has not been relegated since, thus holding the record for unbroken tenure in the top division of English football. The incident remains the source of rancour with local rivals Tottenham, along with the earlier move when Arsenal were seen as invading their new neighbors' north London fiefdom. Spurs had finished the 1915 season at the bottom of the 1st division, but after the war the league was expanded to include an extra 2 teams in division 1, so Tottenham expected to stay up after the top 2 teams in Division 2 were promoted. However, Norris somehow managed to get Arsenal elected in their place, and elements of the Tottenham support have nursed a grievance ever since.

The following few seasons saw the club maintain a mediocre standard adequate to remaining in the 1st division, but insufficient to progress. However, after narrowly avoiding relegation in 1925, another turning point in Arsenal's fortunes was reached. The legendary Herbert Chapman, fresh from guiding Huddersfield to the first 2 of their 3 successive titles, was appointed manager and over the next 9 years transformed Arsenal from an average first division club into one of the great names in world football.

The visionary Chapman had the nearby underground station renamed in honor of the club, introduced the now famous white sleeves and pioneered the use of shirt numbers. Under his guidance Arsenal gradually progressed in the late twenties, coming 2nd in the league in 1926 and reaching the Cup final in 1927. The club went on to dominate English football over the following decade. The FA Cup became Arsenal's first major trophy in 1930, and the first league championship in 1931 was followed by a further 4 titles and another FA Cup over the next 7 years.

1937-38 brought Arsenal's 5th league title in seven years, though the near-invincible team which had dominated the decade was generally held to be in decline. After the interruption caused by the 2nd World War, Tom Whittaker forged another great team, and 2 more titles (1947-48 and 1952-53) and an FA Cup (1950) were won over a 5 year period, with the 1951-52 season also seeing the Gunners narrowly miss the elusive double, runners up in both league and FA cup.

Whittaker's death in 1956 marked a decline in fortunes of the great club, and a barren 14 years followed. Even the appointment as manager of Billy Wright, one of the great names in English football, failed to turn things round, and it took an unknown to bring the glory days back to Highbury. Bertie Mee was previously the club doctor and had minimal experience in professional football when he took over as manager in 1966, but he led the club to Wembley in the League cup final in 1968 (though that ended in ignominious defeat to 3rd division Swindon), and 2 years later Arsenal captured their first European trophy, winning the UEFA Fairs Cup against Anderlecht, having to come back from a 3-1 first leg deficit to do so.

The following season was to be the most successful in the club's history until the 2003-2004 unbeaten season, when the mythical domestic double was achieved. The league was clinched on the sweetest of nights, a 1-0 win at the home of the old enemy Tottenham, and the FA Cup followed a few days later, a Charlie George goal winning the cup in extra time at Wembley against Liverpool.

The double success wasn't really built upon, despite reaching the FA cup final again in 1972 and finishing second in the league the following season, and Arsenal became a mid-table team once again during the mid seventies. Towards the end of the decade however, under Terry Neill and Don Howe, some success returned when Arsenal set another record, reaching the FA Cup final in 3 successive seasons. Only the middle visit to Wembley, in 1979, was triumphant, a thrilling last minute 3-2 victory against Manchester United. The following season saw cup heartbreak when Arsenal lost the FA Cup final to West Ham, and 4 days later the European Cup Winners Cup final to Valencia on penalties.

Success became more habitual once again during the George Graham era. After Graham took over in 1986, Arsenal won six major trophies in the next eight years. A League Cup triumph in 1987 was built upon, and in 1989 the league championship returned to Highbury after an 18 year absence when Arsenal pipped Liverpool to the title on goals scored. In the most exciting finish to the league season ever witnessed in English football the final, deciding match at Anfield was won 2-0 with a now definitive last minute winner by Michael Thomas. Another championship followed two years later when Arsenal lost only one league game and conceded just 18 goals in 38 matches.
 
OPA, oh wise, mysterious and somewhat pungent mystic from beyond the seas, I submit this on your altar of infinite knowledge:

I had a friend who said Arsenal were crap, and Spurs were great (outrageous!). How would you silence this slanderous codpiece?
 
I like how you changed the word 'I' to 'Larry King'. If you fancy OPA, just say so! Ain't no shame in it.

- Sydia (not a girl).
 
The answer to the former is obvious. The answer to the latter is shrouded in mystery and erotic political tension.
 
Dear OPA.....
I have somehow managed to aquire some uncouth boorish guests who now refuse to go home.....I'm fairly sure I didn't invite them though they are adamant that they know me....How can I get rid of them without apppearing rude.....

Daimiaena....
 
Dear OPA,

Would it be possible for you to call me after 9 pm or before 6 am, except for on the weekends? I've sunk over $1000 into my cell phone for you. Not that I mind...much. ;)

Sincerely,
GET A CINGULAR PHONE ALREADY SO WE CAN TALK FOR FREE.

P.S. I like you.
 
Southwest Asia:
So the name Arsenal celebrates English weaponry?
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Um... Yeah. It used to. Now it celebrates French weaponry and shady deals that are done with little-known clubs.

Fedele:
If you were a siamese cat, what canned cat food would you prefer?
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Which ever one tastes the most like you... :mellow:

Sydia:
I had a friend who said Arsenal were crap, and Sp*rs were great (outrageous!). How would you silence this slanderous codpiece?
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Lots and lots of kicks to the nadgers.

Dont pick it up:
OPA why are you so damn good at answering questions?
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All these months of talking with Fedele kinda rubbed off on me, I guess.

Fedele:
OP, if you were gay, would you think Larry King was hot?
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I'm straight and I think he exudes sex.

Dear OPA.....
I have somehow managed to aquire some uncouth boorish guests who now refuse to go home.....I'm fairly sure I didn't invite them though they are adamant that they know me....How can I get rid of them without apppearing rude.....

Daimiaena....
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Quit doing your Captain Kirk impression. That's a good start.

My Beloved:
Dear OPA,

Would it be possible for you to call me after 9 pm or before 6 am, except for on the weekends? I've sunk over $1000 into my cell phone for you. Not that I mind...much.

Sincerely,
GET A CINGULAR PHONE ALREADY SO WE CAN TALK FOR FREE.

P.S. I like you.
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I like you, too. And I do NOT want to hear you complaining about phone bills. Remember the $498.00 Adventure? Yeah, that's what I thought. :hug:'s & :kiss:'s.

SJ:
Dear OPA what do you think of Ashly Cole possibly moving to the greatest team across the world Chelsea?
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We don't need him and we're better off without him. We NEED Cannavarro.
 
Dear OPA,

Why is ^ standing in a corner, behind the potted plant, looking dubiously over ^'s shoulder?

Furious George wants to know.


Always,

Iggers.
 
Southwest Asia:
Dear OPA,

How do I outspam IndieGirl?
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Even I can answer this one: don't bother! It's like trying to outlive Methuselah.

Dear OPA: Why does the ragman draw circles up and down the block, bearing in mind that we know that he don't talk?
 
IndieGirl:
Always,

Iggers.
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Dear OPA,

I saw IG at the airport and I yelled out, "Hey, Iggers! What's up?" only to have four guys grab me by the arms, drag be outside and beat the living shit out of me. What the hell is up with that?
 
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