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Nevermind The Bollocks

I

IndieGirl

TNPer
TNP Nation
IndieGirl
It's like all those other threads we have where your sentence is already started, you just have to finish it.

You know you're having a bad day, when...


...Carly Simon comes on and you don't skip it.
 
you suddenly realize you left the house key in the mailbox, but when you go to get it, the key's gone and you're locked out of the apartment.
 
... the magnetic pole shifts again while you're on a sponsored trek to the North Pole to raise money for your own new kidneys. And then you tred on the polar bears balls.
 
.. Mt. Ultimate Doom finally explodes just as you decided to take a picnic on one of the lower slopes. A polar bear falls on your head and darth mauls you.
 
...your nuked breakfast burrito from the vending machine in the office kitchen is burning, scalidng hot on the outside, and when you finally wait for it to cool down, you find out that the inside is still frozen.
 
You forget to feed your dog and he bites off your feet and hands, leaving you to summon help by singing the theme from General Hospital. It attracts a polar bear, who kills you for not having a TV. Then you wake up in Spain.
 
...you wake up and that dream you had with the super models, giant lottery win and Nobel Prize in Literature fades into the ether.
 
You look in your Folio Weekly and realize the the concert scene, once lush, has become a wasteland of nothingness and only the glimmer of hope that maybe Morrissey and/or Reel Big Fish might be coming somewhere near you is keeping you from ending it all in a fireball that can be seen in Arizona.
 
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