Financial Products: the FUTURE of the NPA (midterm report)

[Comfed]

Midterm Update: NPA-FP
September-January 2023 Term​

Hello,

I am thrilled to announce to you all the future of the North Pacific Army as a financial services provider – we are now North Pacific Army Financial Products, or NPA-FP! All NPA-FP soldiers will have the opportunity to work with our amazing and dedicated team as we make this transition. Here is our executive team:

Chairman of the Board: @Kaschovia
President and Chief Executive Officer: @Comfed
Chief Technology Officer: @9003
Chief Information Officer: @Icarus
Chief Financial Officer: @Koopa103
Chief Operations Officer: @Robespierre
Chief Marketing Officer: @Zaz

Recently, there has been a bubble in the value of worthless financial assets, and we are taking on an expanded team to meet this unique challenge. Some opportunities are listed herein.

>> CLICK TO APPLY <<​

Special Forces
As a Special Forces member, you will get to work in the EXCITING field of update operations. You will experience the full breadth and depth of "police actions" against rival firms and have the opportunity to be promoted up the ranks of NPA-FP very quickly. WE ARE SEEKING APPLICANTS WHO:

• Are available from 12:00 AM - ~1:30 AM Eastern Time approx. once a week OR;
• Are available from 12:00 PM - ~1:00 PM Eastern Time approx. once a week.

Auxiliary
For those who are not available at the above times the Auxiliary is still an EXCITING opportunity to get involved with operations such as "voluntary" acquisitions of other businesses, or lobbying the region's top lawmakers at Magicality City. As we are the #1 employer we offer premium benefits to our employees. WE ARE SEEKING APPLICANTS WHO:

• Are residents of The North Pacific.

Militia
The Militia is all about crushing our enemies (and before you ask, yes, we are number one COE fans.) Anyone can help with that. You do not even need a forum or discord account to help out in this EXCITING field. WE ARE SEEKING APPLICANTS WHO:

• Are residents of The North Pacific;
• Don't have a forum account.

Shareholder Report
What will follow is a report for our EXTREMELY VALUED shareholders, in whose interests we continually strive.

Stock Trading
NPA-FP has been highly active in the stock market this term. First, we bailed out the floundering military contracting firm Solidarity along with several other firms, and we dramatically improved its efficiency by reducing its bloated staff and completely redefining its branding for a new era:

Spoiler

We didn't stop there; we moved on to providing a huge loan to Magna Aurea and contracting with Europeia. We also furnished the latter's Chief Financial Officer, upc, with several highly qualified tax lawyers. After all, the corporate tax rate in the LunarPunk Special Adminitrative Region is very low, and we'd hate to have a valued ally miss out on the opportunity!

Next, we moved on to several highly lucrative investments in Asia. Specifically, in the Far East Oriental Federation. Although the exploitative Black Hawks manufacturing firm tried to muscle in on our markets by invading the region, we were able to repel them quickly with the help of our crack team of liberators:

Spoiler

Minister of Defence Comfed
General Robespierre
General Zaz
General Rom
General Koopa
General Icarus
Lieutenant Healiopolis
Warrant Officer NutmegTheSquirrel
Warrant Officer El Fiji Grande
Corporal Datejl
Corporal Norvoz
Corporal Picairn
Corporal Magecastle
Corporal Ocean
Corporal Hulldom
PFC Caius
PFC Dantek
PFC Commonwealth Of UOVS
PFC Lionsmeow
PFC Marianne-Britannia
PFC Polgaria
PFC Ruben

You are all awarded this ribbon!

Then we decided that we liked Asia so much we should continue to invest! You see, the hedge fund/combined tax law firm Sparkalia, Sparkalia & Sparkalia (a firm whose management was most recently spotted fleeing to the Brotherhood of Malice with suitcases stuffed with cash) had deployed its private army to seize control of the Philippines! Being a financial firm that is of course also armed to the teeth, we responded in kind, deploying our militia and even recruiting some people off the street! (I believe Brits call it being "shanghaied"?) Unfortunately, the advent of the zombie apocalypse meant that our troops were obliged to leave early, but not before leaving a significant beachhead that they (the raiders) have as of yet been unable to dislodge. We got a truly insane number of people for this operation:

Spoiler

C. Vickers
Catshoar
CD
Dantek
Datejl
Dulle
El Fiji Grande
Marianne-Britannia
Orange
Oscarcars
Picairn
Polgaria
Ruben
Vivanco
Voutyrophobia
Zaz
Acord
Apollo
Comfed
EpicLoopz
Jenha
New Westmore
Nukey
QuietDad
Robespierre
Luke Helryn Moon
Koopa
Caius
Sprout
Tim Kasto
Rom
Ocean
Hulldom

Everyone in the above list is awarded yet another ribbon!

Where was I? I lost my train of thought while compiling those lists. Oh yeah.

In short, our turn towards the world of finance is a VERY EXCITING turn for the NPA and we have MANY OPPORTUNITIES for you to join us and work with our AMAZING TEAM. You've seen what we can do in foreign markets; there's no better time to join us and learn how you, too, can do military gameplay like a crook con artist corrupt billionaire upstanding financier!

Comfed

President and CEO of North Pacific Army Financial Products

 

[Chipoli]

Very nice report, Comfed!

 

[Picairn]

We have achieved record profits this mid-term, here's to more exciting business opportunities in the future!

 

[Nutmeg The Squirrel]

It's been so much fun, and I look forward to further expeditions into the market!

 

[Kaschovia]

Anyone who doesn't consider the NPA-FP a worthwhile investment clearly hasn't looked at our sales figures this quarter. Here's to a profitable second half of the term!