Startled from its restlessness at the sound of international uproar over pillows and sleep aids,
Determined to tuck in this midnight raucus once and for all,
Snuggling into a final resting position for the supreme comfort of all member states,
The World Assembly hereby declares:
- Poorly chosen, placed, or prepared pillows can exacerbate neck pain and long-term injury rather than prevent it. Pillows should not be used for long-term sleep assistance except as advised by a pillow professional.
- Long-term use of sleeping pills often builds up tolerance and can interfere with healthy sleep patterns. Furthermore, sleep medication is often unsuitable for pregnant individuals, senior citizens, or individuals with other health conditions. Pillow professionals may offer alternative sleep assistance options.
- Pillows are not, in fact, cuboid, but rather come in a variety of fun and engaging shapes. Member states might take great joy in the possibilities offered by round, triangular, pill-shaped, cylindrical, and U-shaped pillows, as well as countless uncommon but nonetheless pleasant geometries such as heart-shaped. Local pillow professionals are best equipped to locate the perfect pillow shape for any given need.
- Pillows are not exclusively useful for supporting the head. These devices are capable of a wide array of physically and emotionally fulfilling roles. They can just as easily support the feet, the back, the neck, or—with sufficient surface area—the entire body. Dogs in particular may enjoy burying themselves in a good pillow. Pillows are also excellent for hugging, lounging, travel, and constructing sturdy, multi-level pillow forts as defensive installments amidst the frequent pillow fights which ravage the World Assembly campus.
