Ever-Expanding Conspiracy!

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Minister
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Pronouns
he/him
TNP Nation
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Discord
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Let’s build a conspiracy theory! Each sentence must build off the previous one. Logical consistency is not required. Alliteration is encouraged.

Starting sentence:
The government is run by a cabalist cartel of kooky lizard people.
 
(Logical considracy is not required)!
Oh I didn't read this sentence..

Plans was a dinosaur who has won Guiness world record for killing most humans.
 
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