Propaganda News Weekly

FRAUDULENT DELEGATE REMOVED FROM POWER, CHIMPANZEE ELECTED
FRAUDULENTLY elected "delegate" @INSERTDELEGATENAMEHERE was recently ousted by his fellow FRAUDULENTLY elected ghost dude, then in another shocking
twist in the saga, the true winner was revealed to be multiple sexiest and funniest tnper award winner @Monkemafiatopia
as your new LEGITIMATELY elected delegate I has hereby order all tnpers to say one nice thing about him and shower me with praise and gifts,
thank you for electing me peasants and I look forward to ruling over you all with an iron fist​
 
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GENIUS CHIMPANZEE DECLINES WELL DESERVED NOMINATION FOR SPEAKER, ROBES ADMITS TO CORRUPTION?
A big day for PNW today as a very handsome and intelligent chimpanzee humbly declined his nomination for the upcoming speaker election, in response to the
nomination, he was quoted as saying "hell nah"
In other news, TNP's most shocking rumour has been confirmed as true. In recent discord discussions, Robespierre admitted to systematic rigging of TNP elections, many may be sceptical of the seriousness of these statements, however I would like to remind everyone, no one would ever lie on the internet.
​
 
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ELECTIONS HEATING UP AS CANDIDATES CALL EACH OTHER MEAN THINGS
The upcoming speaker election just went from the most boring thing ever to pretty interesting, as the candidates responded to questions about stuff and things, many were quick to hurl insults and point out flaws in their opponents campaigns.
Specific candidates will not be named for legal reasons and definitely not because I don't know who's running.
PNW will not update readers on the unfolding situation.​
 
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ELECTION HEATING UP AS RON TAKES LEAD?
The upcoming snooze fest has just becoming even more slightly interesting as emerging unidentified candidate Ronald has come from nowhere to take an absolutely MASSIVE (not clickbait) lead.
our unpaid interns are working illegal hours tirelessly to identify the newcomer, however sources point to an inside job by an elitist tnper.
PNW will not keep readers updated. ​
 
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LACK OF NEWS LEAVES IDIOT CHIMPANZEE WITH LITTLE TO WRITE ABOUT
With the election returning to being extremely boring and moving at a snail's pace, TNP's number 1* source of news has so few things to write about that he has announced his retirement from news, with the intent to pursue a career in "rap music"
*number 1 among readers with an IQ measured below 50 ​
 
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(INSERT NAME HERE) "WINS" SPEAKERS ELECTION, FRAUDULENT OR DESERVED?
TNP's speaker elections are officially over with (INTERNS PLEASE INSERT WINNER HERE) declared the victor, although many are calling foul as it was revealed a large shipment of votes sent by a mysterious "Maddison Jackson" arrived just in time for the "official" "legitimate" count. PNW will not keep readers updated.​
 
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PNW "RIVAL" ACCUSED OF BEING SILLY? COURT NERDS GIVEN ACTUAL WORK?
Recent accusations have emerged of news rival nubt 2: the squeakquel tampering with words and such that was said in a private conversation, PNW researchers spent several minutes looking for more information but came up empty. A new court case may however wake up the old farts in the north's law division thing, giving the decaying skeletons work to do just before/after the upcoming speaker election whenever they feel like it.
PNW is of course a neutral news source and as such, does not pick sides. However, a large donation may change this opinion.
PNW wishes the best of luck to the court in this case and wishes our rival news source definitely not lose the case and benefit PNW as that would be awful.
please send help, the psychotic ape has us imprisoned and is forcing us to write articles​
 
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UNPAID INTERNS STRUGGLE TO COME UP WITH COMPELLING HEADLINE, NUBT PLEADS GUILTY?
The ongoing saga of the Nubt II case ended in an anticlimactic boring fashion, as Nubt plead guilty, meaning the hardworking legal division will now return to napping and knitting crochet sweaters. Nubt admitted his guilt in a televised apology saying, quote;
I published a comment from a private conversation that I guess went out over the air that I am deeply ashamed of. If I have hurt anyone out there, I can't tell you how much I say from the bottom of my heart I'm so very, very sorry. I pride myself and think of myself as a man of faith, as there's a drive into deep left field by Castellanos and that'll be a home run. And so that'll make it a 4-0 ballgame. ​
 
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PNW RETURNS AFTER LONG HIATUS, ELECTION CANDIDATES DUMB DUMBS?
That's right baby! PNW has returned, Again.
with new questionably legal unpaid unfed interns, back with even lower IQ news for the average dumb folk.
As the upcoming elections come up upcomingly, the candidates are eager to make fools of themselves and bicker between each other, perfectly emulating a real election.
Election candidates including (INSERT CANDIDATE) and (PLACEHOLDER CANDIDATE) among other crowd favourites will battle it out for the right to rule over the north pacific. PNW is of course a non biased publication, however this may be influenced by donations *cough* *cough*​
 
Monkemafiatopia:
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PNW RETURNS AFTER LONG HIATUS, ELECTION CANDIDATES DUMB DUMBS?
That's right baby! PNW has returned, Again.
with new questionably legal unpaid unfed interns, back with even lower IQ news for the average dumb folk.
As the upcoming elections come up upcomingly, the candidates are eager to make fools of themselves and bicker between each other, perfectly emulating a real election.
Election candidates including (INSERT CANDIDATE) and (PLACEHOLDER CANDIDATE) among other crowd favourites will battle it out for the right to rule over the north pacific. PNW is of course a non biased publication, however this may be influenced by donations *cough* *cough*​
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OMG YES!!! Back in business! :shades:
 
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Monkemafiatopia:
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PNW RETURNS AFTER LONG HIATUS, ELECTION CANDIDATES DUMB DUMBS?
That's right baby! PNW has returned, Again.
with new questionably legal unpaid unfed interns, back with even lower IQ news for the average dumb folk.
As the upcoming elections come up upcomingly, the candidates are eager to make fools of themselves and bicker between each other, perfectly emulating a real election.
Election candidates including (INSERT CANDIDATE) and (PLACEHOLDER CANDIDATE) among other crowd favourites will battle it out for the right to rule over the north pacific. PNW is of course a non biased publication, however this may be influenced by donations *cough* *cough*​
Click to expand...
OMG!!! The totally real news man is back! And even realer than before! :wave:
 
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ELECTION SNOOZEFEST CONTINUES, PIZZA FOR DINNER?
As the upcoming election gets closer, the lack of competition especially for the delegate position is lacklustre blah blah blah guys I think I'm having pizza for dinner idk what type but hopefully pizza​
 
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ELECTION RESULTS LEAKED, MONKEMAFIATOPIA CONTINUES WINNING STREAK WITH LANDSLIDE WIN
Propaganda news weekly can now reveal the exclusive top secret election results, and proudly announce that benevolent dictator Monkemafiatopia has once
again won the election, and will usher in a new era of pain and suffering for the north pacific, the results have been calculatified and are by no means altered.
With a staggering six votes, monkemafiatopia destroyed all other candidates, who combined couldn't even manage one vote lol losers.​
 
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