Hello. I am Comfed, and I am running for Delegate.
Now, I understand that some of my opponents are reptilian kitten-eaters from other planets. And I say: fight the kitten-eaters! They have no place in our most glorious republic!
Oh, and I want to get one thing out of the way. Things like "freedom" and "democracy"? WEAK. I plan to replace these with "internal security" and "leadership consistency".
Now, here are my plans for the ministries.
Gameside
The RMB: Do we need one? Really? I mean come on, it's just a bunch of spammers and RPers anyways. I would make a policy of suppressing all RMB posts and banjecting the posters for... uh, let's say treason.
Home Affairs
What's Home Affairs for? Here's a shocking fact: no one knows! Under a Comfed administration, it would be gone. Unless there's something I'm not seeing here.
Culture
Culture's nice. I would instruct my Minister of Culture to immediately instill values of patriotism and obedience to me in the citizenry. I would also make CHECKERS the official game of The North Pacific, and ban chess-players as heretics.
Communications
I think Polaris could be merged with The Northern Lights to form a brand new outlet called Pravda, don't you?
Radio
I would make sure that subliminal messages are inserted into every radio broadcast to... ah... instill patriotism! Also, the background in all the NBS Youtube videos would be changed to pro-Comfed propaganda.
Defense
I would find the most moralistic defenders in the region and force them to grief a random founderless region. Every. Single Update.
Also, I would spy on our allies and post logs from their cabinets on the gameplay forum, to make things INTERESTING.
Foreign Affairs
I would make sure to provide our political friends in other regions with... campaign contributions. Also, I would deliberately put disinformation into the World Factbook Entry. Our ambassadors would be given a chance to shine by being taught lies about our foreign affairs strategy.
World Assembly Affairs
I would put defenders in charge of our SC policy and religious conservatives in charge of our General Assembly policy.
Also, I understand that WAA has a role in Delegate transitions. Under Delegate Comfed, there would be no need for these anymore, so this function would be eliminated.
Cards
The Ministry would be repurposed into the "Ministry of Cards for Comfed" and all staffers would be required to give me free legendaries. Also, I would instruct them to go onto the cards server and mock players from other regions.
Conclusion
Are you tired of the elections booth PMing you to vote every damn election? Then vote for me. Because I would get rid of the elections booth.
ALSO: Madjack, Dreadton and MTDemocracy are reptilian kitten-eaters from other planets.
Now, I understand that some of my opponents are reptilian kitten-eaters from other planets. And I say: fight the kitten-eaters! They have no place in our most glorious republic!
Oh, and I want to get one thing out of the way. Things like "freedom" and "democracy"? WEAK. I plan to replace these with "internal security" and "leadership consistency".
Now, here are my plans for the ministries.
Gameside
The RMB: Do we need one? Really? I mean come on, it's just a bunch of spammers and RPers anyways. I would make a policy of suppressing all RMB posts and banjecting the posters for... uh, let's say treason.
Home Affairs
What's Home Affairs for? Here's a shocking fact: no one knows! Under a Comfed administration, it would be gone. Unless there's something I'm not seeing here.
Culture
Culture's nice. I would instruct my Minister of Culture to immediately instill values of patriotism and obedience to me in the citizenry. I would also make CHECKERS the official game of The North Pacific, and ban chess-players as heretics.
Communications
I think Polaris could be merged with The Northern Lights to form a brand new outlet called Pravda, don't you?
Radio
I would make sure that subliminal messages are inserted into every radio broadcast to... ah... instill patriotism! Also, the background in all the NBS Youtube videos would be changed to pro-Comfed propaganda.
Defense
I would find the most moralistic defenders in the region and force them to grief a random founderless region. Every. Single Update.
Also, I would spy on our allies and post logs from their cabinets on the gameplay forum, to make things INTERESTING.
Foreign Affairs
I would make sure to provide our political friends in other regions with... campaign contributions. Also, I would deliberately put disinformation into the World Factbook Entry. Our ambassadors would be given a chance to shine by being taught lies about our foreign affairs strategy.
World Assembly Affairs
I would put defenders in charge of our SC policy and religious conservatives in charge of our General Assembly policy.
Also, I understand that WAA has a role in Delegate transitions. Under Delegate Comfed, there would be no need for these anymore, so this function would be eliminated.
Cards
The Ministry would be repurposed into the "Ministry of Cards for Comfed" and all staffers would be required to give me free legendaries. Also, I would instruct them to go onto the cards server and mock players from other regions.
Conclusion
Are you tired of the elections booth PMing you to vote every damn election? Then vote for me. Because I would get rid of the elections booth.
ALSO: Madjack, Dreadton and MTDemocracy are reptilian kitten-eaters from other planets.
