A full apology

Ecclesia Poenitens

Ecclesia Poenitens

Registered
Hello, TNP:

I'm doing tonight something I should have done a long time ago. Something I didn't do perhaps because I was too proud, perhaps because I was petty and bitter, perhaps because I was just jealous. Regardless, I didn't do it, and I should do it now.

I fully and completely apologise for my collaboration against TNP. It combined some of the worst OOC and IC offenses there are, and was an all-around dumb decision. I really do regret every bit of it. It was stupid. It was treacherous. It was cruel. I want to say that at least now, I really don't bear ill-will against TNP. Honestly, I think I'm a little jealous of what you all have going on here, in some ways: you have a vibrant, diverse community that has broken the game in a lot of really beautiful ways. And more than everything, I've made some tremendous and amazing friends. I feel awful that I turned my backs on them in some vain, jealous, petty ploy.

This all has also taught me an important lesson -- the fascists and awful people of the internet prey on those emotions to hide who they are from the unsuspecting. In my jealously, pettiness, and vanity, I couldn't see what was right before my eyes. That is all my fault, and I do not shirk from that fault.

I want to apologise to the whole region, but to a few people in particular:
  • @Pallaith: You really, really do mean a lot to me and have helped me in so many ways, particularly with coming to terms with my sexuality. And even after all this came out, you still reached out and talked to me, not as a politician, but as a friend. That means the world; it really does. Being backstabbed must hurt, but it particularly pains me to know that I turned my back on someone who genuinely made my IRL experience better.
  • @Prydania: I remember you as a really good friend. It must have pained you in particular to see my collaboration with fascists in this incident. Initially, in the aftermath of this all, I used ignorance to justify my cooperation with CCD. Ignorance is no excuse. I should have seen CCD for what it is and I probably had every opportunity to. It takes an act of willful ignorance to make that mistake, in a lot of ways. I'm so, so, so sorry.
  • @mcmasterdonia : This is the apology that is perhaps most difficult for me to make. But I must do it anyways. You were justifiably angry and upset when I betrayed TNP -- it is your job to defend the region and confront its enemies. I needed to understand that. This is not my time to play a victim, and I won't anymore.
  • @Wonderess: I should apologise the most to you. You are my closest friend on NS, and I betrayed you and put you on the firing line time and time again. That is not what a friend does.
To anyone who forgave me, who was willing to hear me out, who was willing to listen to me, I thank you. You were under no obligation to do so. You still are not. But I want to begin the real work of apologizing and making amends with people and a community that I really, really very genuinely like. And if there's anything you need me to do to make that happen, I will. The process may be long, it may never happen, but the effort it is worth it.

Regards,
UM
 
People make dumb decisions all the time- be it in this game or life. All we can ask from each other and ourselves is that we learn and grow from them. I accept your apology :)
 
I will say, while I will not comment on the contents of this apology, United Massachusetts has been involved in military operations seeking to remove approvals from a GA proposal authored by a member of one of our allies. This is a tactic that had previously only been used only against fascists. This is an aggressive escalation. I note this as a suggestion that UM's lack of judgement has yet to change.
 
Cosmosplosion:
I will say, while I will not comment on the contents of this apology, United Massachusetts has been involved in military operations seeking to remove approvals from a GA proposal authored by a member of one of our allies. This is a tactic that had previously only been used only against fascists. This is an aggressive escalation. I note this as a suggestion that UM's lack of judgement has yet to change.
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To be fair, I doubt that’s your problem with UM.

MG decided to push back. IA responded by trying to make abortion payed for by governments, something that is more extreme than the proposal MG wanted to get rid of. UM et al. approval raided to try and stop it. This all seems like a natural escalation from both parties.
 
People do stupid shit in this game. All the time. I of all people should know this. This was stupid, and you acknowledged as such in your post. I commend and thank you for having the humility and posture to apologize publically, as that can be a hard thing to do. I accept your apology.

Now go in peace, glorifying the Lord by your life.
 
St George:
This is not true in the slightest. The initial WA blocking runs were not done against fascists and there has almost certainly been others since that haven't.
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The initial tests were not used against fascists and were also not done with the intent of stopping the resolution, but to prove a concept. You will be hard pressed to find one not used against fascists.
 
Cosmosplosion:
I will say, while I will not comment on the contents of this apology, United Massachusetts has been involved in military operations seeking to remove approvals from a GA proposal authored by a member of one of our allies. This is a tactic that had previously only been used only against fascists. This is an aggressive escalation. I note this as a suggestion that UM's lack of judgement has yet to change.
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There is a difference between opposing this region and betraying it, and between disagreeing with its members and betraying them. While I vehemently disagree with UM's views on abortion, his efforts to influence NationStates World Assembly legislation on the subject is not an offense against us.

I appreciate the apology in the spirit in which it was given, and to the small extent I was wronged as a TNPer I accept it. I won't deny hoping that UM will come to sympathize more with women than with the contents of their wombs, but I think recognition of one's own mistakes and seeking to do better is extremely important and worth acknowledging.

In the spirit of love, respect, and forgiveness, I wish United Massachusetts the best and thank them for the steps they've taken.
 
mcmasterdonia:
Thank you for offering your apology. I acknowledge and respect that you found it difficult to do. I cannot at this time offer my forgiveness as others have done.

Like Lore, I hope your future actions will demonstrate your sincerity. Overtime forgiveness and mutual understanding may be found.
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Thank you, McM. It is all I can ask for.

Lord Lore:
As far as I am concerned this is not something that an apology can fix. Actions going forward is what will eventually make this right. While this is a first step to reconciling, I am not ready to recognize this for what it is supposed to be.
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Thank you, Lore. I agree.

And many thanks to those all those who have posted here. I really do appreciate taking the time to respond, regardless of your "stance."
 
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When you threaten the sovereignty of the region that I call home and actively conspire with enemies of our government to subvert our community I feel as though I have every reason to not offer you forgiveness on the first attempt at an apology. That being said, I do recognize that this is a step in the right direction and although I do have reservations about certain sincerities I do believe that you wouldn’t want something similar to this to ever play out in the future.

Unfortunately, at this time, I will not be offering forgiveness until you show me something in the future that warrants my forgiveness. Whether or not you care about my forgiveness is irrelevant, but I appreciate that you’ve achknowledged your mistake and going forward I do hope your behaviour matches your words and you seek to make proper amends.

Ultimately, although I cannot give you forgiveness today, I am not opposed to offering it in the future if your actions from here onwards prove redeemable. If you’re truly sorry, you’ll consciously make an effort to show me and others in this region actions that are friendly and genuine.
 
Robespierre:
When you threaten the sovereignty of the region that I call home and actively conspire with enemies of our government to subvert our community I feel as though I have every reason to not offer you forgiveness on the first attempt at an apology. That being said, I do recognize that this is a step in the right direction and although I do have reservations about certain sincerities I do believe that you wouldn’t want something similar to this to ever play out in the future.

Unfortunately, at this time, I will not be offering forgiveness until you show me something in the future that warrants my forgiveness. Whether or not you care about my forgiveness is irrelevant, but I appreciate that you’ve achknowledged your mistake and going forward I do hope your behaviour matches your words and you seek to make proper amends.

Ultimately, although I cannot give you forgiveness today, I am not opposed to offering it in the future if your actions from here onwards prove redeemable. If you’re truly sorry, you’ll consciously make an effort to show me and others in this region actions that are friendly and genuine.
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I agree. Thank you, Robespierre. I will make my best efforts to do so.
 
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