The Mother of All Spam Threads

I shall submit my findings to the Bureau of Fictional Discoveries and they will give me a Nowbul Prize.
 
I will get started on my next discovery shortly, but for now, enjoy some relaxing elevator music.
 
How many times have you tried to put gravy or sauce on your plate perfectly, but it just drips onto the side of the plate?
 
But not immediately, for I should now take one more break to explain why I became an inventor.
 
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