Would you Rather:Jobs

Olympic Runner, swimming is great however i tend to be more on land

a Golfer with No Aim or A Disney World Mascot?
 
Racer. Safer. (assuming American football. Otherwise I switch choices. Same reason though.)

Eel wrangler or shark charmer?
 
Astronaut, its freaking space lets gooooooooo!

First person on Mars, or first person to successfully coup the government of the USA.
 
Coup the government, bc then I can try out my political practices, and the journey to mars sounds like a remarkable pain in the ass.

Hedge fund manager or tech startup millionaire?
 
hmm, okay well seeing as there is a brake. i will say would you rather be paid to jump off a building regularly or live in space for 6 months?
 
Live in space. It seems less frightening, and maybe sometimes more fun.

Space ship captain or space station commandant?
 
Teacher! Unlimited control over the lives of children, able to cause them emotional distress without repercussions? Yes please!

Mental therapist or physical therapist?
 
Actor, because I was meant for the stage, dear boy.

An astronaut with agoraphobia & claustrophobia or a lion tamer that's allergic to cats?
 
Astronaut, I don't care about my fears, I'll be in space!

Get lost out at sea with no land on the horizon or have a nightmare every night for the rest of your life.
 
Hotel reviewer. And if they wants five stars, they got to get right on them amenities, muhfucka.

A dishwasher that can't get dishes clean or a truck driver that can't drive a truck?
 
Harry Potter. More attractive.

Comfortable around people but forever alone, or not comfortable around people but forever with people?

EDIT: Oh wait these are supposed to be jobs. Well too bad I already wrote it, I'm not fixing it.
 
Programmer. Engineers might have to go outside, and do math. Both of those things are things I dislike.

Butcher or person who washes and prepares dead bodies for a funeral?
 
Government lab rat, they might protect me when the apocalypse comes, and people won't laugh at me.

Biologist or chemist?
 
Chef, because I can impart actual pleasure with my work rather than some abstract thought forms.

Chef or skydiver?
 
Heh that's tough. I would either be referred to as a racist person who ruined this country. Or I could be a person with TERRIBLE medical conditions because all the naughty things space does to you. I choose president

Sewage Worker, or obese McDonald's Cashier.
 
Sewage Worker, I could just plug my nose and wear protective clothing. And they get paid very handsomely as well.

F1 Driver or WWE Wrestler?
 
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