Shake, rattle, and roll

Witchcraft and Sorcery:
I'm throwing a party backstage

someone find me a quarter-inch cable, i'll look silly if i can't play
Click to expand...
[me] gives W&S a quarter-inch cable.

Gradea chucks a tree down a hill.
 
[me]takes a flying leap at the nearest roadie, with Machine Gun playing in the background on 11, and smashes a Gibson over his giant, hairy, greasy roadie head.
 
[me]brings Kasch a wheelchair, it has flames painted on the side. She tips a drum set on its side with an extra assortment of cymbals, and a gong, and wheels Kasch back about 15 yards. Pulling out four airsoft pistols and two pairs of sunglasses, she hands two pistols and some shades to Kasch. One of the non-incapacitated roadies blasts assorted Rush tracks while Kasch & IG shoot the crap outta that drumset.
 
(My imagination literally just exploded thinking about that, now let me put in some effort)

After the drumkit gets torn up from IG and Kasch's insane aim, they both do rollie polies down the side of a rocky cliff wearing padding and protective gear. At the bottom is a jet, they strap themselves to the wings and the pilot flies them up. At 3,000 feet, the pilot ejects, leaving IG and Kasch falling through the air, Kasch crawls his way to the back of the jet and unstraps IG, they make some improv parachutes out of Kasch's overly baggy shirt. They float down onto a bed of nails and land like badasses in front of all the other forum peoples. They are both given medals of awesomesauce and are put into the hall of legendaryness.

Continuuueeeddd....

The jet crashes behind them causing a huge explosion, adding even more badassery to the scene.
 
People all around look on in awe as we stroll through a gap they had already made. They throw chainsaws and katanas, and we catch them in between our fingers like flowers. Little kids start buying posters of Kasch Mothbane the Ultracool and Indie Mothbane the Supercool.
 
My energy crashes into the void as my fingers begin to weaken. I don't know why I am suddenly quite tired.
 
[me]throws the previous poster into a dumpster and then walks away like a stud
 
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