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(Note: please play this music while reading this, it adds the necessary ambience: https://youtu.be/65Da-NuiCqM)Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening TNP!
For those of you not in the know I represent the Imperial Military Khanate of the Kingdom of Wolfsea, The North Pacific’s best-known Stratocracy. Now I know what you’re thinking “But Greg! A Stratocracy is a military-run government, that’s not a democracy!” well, yes, but we believe firmly in the North Pacific and in defending it and its principals so I declare my candidacy for Delegate.
I stand because, A, we ran out of chairs, and, B, to bring stability to the North Pacific, where we’ve had no less than two delegates in four months forced to abdicate (or whatever your preferred term is) for various reasons. I don’t propose radical changes, I don’t propose massive political upheaval but I do propose the following:
1: In the interests of Regional Security that part of citizenship induction include the Endorsement of all Security Council members.
2: That a greater emphasis be placed upon the region’s Space programs and the introduction of a North Pacific Orbital Command to better co-ordinate our efforts to explore beyond the beautiful blue matzo ball that is our planet.
3: An officially chartered North Pacific Police Force and a substantial recruitment campaign for the North Pacific Defence Force (formerly North Pacific Army).
4: Introduction of a universal code of conduct for all political parties in the North Pacific.
We also wish to introduce the following:
1: Magnificent Trouser Fridays
Every week the staff and representatives of the North Pacific Assembly must wear a magnificent pair of Trousers or a variation thereof (skirts also count if you are so inclined, men and women), with Assembly members required to wear the most outlandish, garish and outright magnificent Pantalons.
2: Beards of Office
The Beard is universally recognised as a symbol of power and wisdom, therefore all members of the assembly will be required to wear facial hair of some kind, false beards will be provided if necessary.
3: The Delegate’s Seal
We propose the Delegate’s Seal be taken literally with the installation of a member of the genus Pinniped Phocidae in a special enclosure within the Assembly building and to act as Mascot of the Region.
Now you might think I’m crazy, but to be a politician you gotta be a little crazy, and I’m nothing if not honest, I know I don’t stand a cat in hells chance with so many fine candidates on the board but the Hustings are open to all regardless of belief or ideals so I promise to uphold those things that this government stands for and more!
Peace, Democracy, Freedom… Cupcakes… Crumbly Candy Bars…
Remember a vote is like a man-bra, it’s there, you’re free to have one, deal with it.
Vote Now! Vote Often! Vote Wolfsea! Wolfsea for a better tomorrow, a more-than-average weekend and Virgo Rising bringing a passionate new energy to your love life in 2016.
Any Questions? you, at the back...