Romanoffia
Garde à l'eau!
The Regional Assembly, noting the need for a inclusive compromise to revise Section 7.3 of the Legal Code and cognizant of Clause 2 of the Bill of Rights does hereby enact a law as follows:
Section 1. Amendment of Section 7.3 of the Legal Code on Religious Obervance.
Section 7.3 of the Legal Code is hereby amended to read as follows:
Section 7.3: Religious Observance Shall Amended As Such:
Section 7.3: Religious Observance
14. Flemingovianism shall be adopted as only recognised acceptablethereligion and church of The North Pacific.
15. All nations are guaranteed freedom of expression of all, any, or no religious belief,and that freedom shall not be curtailedas long as they do so vociferously, but respectfully public.
16. The Flemingovian religion shallreceive no financial or tax advantages through being the religion of The North Pacificshall not be publicly criticised in any fashion under penalty of being whipped mercilessly with a wet noodle for a period to time not to exceed 30 seconds while a song by The Throgs is played in the background.
17. Holidays of the Flemingovian religion shall be observed regionally, and all nations shallhave the right totake a day off work, unpaid, on those holidayswith full pay and a liter of rum, which they shall be required to drink under penalty of the wet noodle clause above in section 16.Government officialsConscientious Objectors are excluded from the effects of this clause.
18.No nation shall serve on the cabinet or any other appointed government position by virtue of their status in the Flemingovian religion.Any adherent to Flemingovianism who is determined to be a Heretic by Church Law shall be forced to run naked through the Agora while making Chicken Sounds for each heretical transgression. Non-Flemingovians will be required to observe this forfeit but shall mercifully be supplied with a quantity of rum and blindfolds so they may not have to utter the phrase, Cor, Blimey!
19. Flemingoviansofficials may participate, as invited by the delegate, at all state functionsMust fast 364 days of the year, eating only cold porridge and water on those days as a sign of their unwavering devotion to the State Religion of Flemingovianism. On the 365th day, January 1, to be exact, they may feast on the fried innards of marsupials provided they do not use any untowardly condiments to modify the flavour, but they must engage in self-flagellation with a wet noodle (as per section 16) while singing We Are the World, in the key of F, chicken noises being optional. Non-Flemingovians will be required to observe this forfeit but shall mercifully be supplied with a quantity of rum and blindfolds so they may not have to utter the phrase, Cor, Blimey!
20. Compliance with this law is absolutely voluntary and it is compulsory that you not comply with this law if you choose not so.
21. All Citizens, residents and visitors to The North Pacific shall be made aware of the potential ill effects of adhering to or not adhering to the Official State Religion of Flemingovianism and that this warning be publicly posted in a prominent place:
WARNING
SERIOUS STATE RELIGION NEUROPSYCHIATRIC EVENTS
Serious neuropsychiatric events including, but not limited to, depression, suicidal ideation, suicide attempt, and completed suicide have been reported in Adherents to the Official State Religion. Some reported cases may have been complicated by the symptoms of sanity withdrawal in Adherents to the Official State Religion who Adhering to the Official State Religion. Depressed mood may be a symptom of sanity withdrawal. Depression, rarely including suicidal ideation, has been reported in hereitics and non-Adherents to the Official State Religion undergoing a religion cessation attempt without medication. However, some of these symptoms have occurred in Adherents to the Official State Religion who continued to have doubts about their religious beliefs.
All adherents to the Official State Religion should be observed for neuropsychiatric symptoms including changes in behavior, hostility, agitation, depressed mood, and suicide-related events, including ideation, behavior, and attempted suicide. These symptoms, as well as worsening of pre-existing psychiatric illness and completed suicide, have been reported in some patients attempting to quit smoking while worshipping in the postmarketing experience. When symptoms were reported, most were during sanity withdrawal treatment, but some were following discontinuation of adhering to the Official State Religion.
These events have occurred in Adherents to the Official State Religion with and without pre-existing psychiatric disease. Adherents to the Official State Religion with serious psychiatric illness such as schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, and major depressive disorder did not participate in the premarketing studies and the safety and efficacy of of The Official State Religion in such Adherents to the Official State Religion has not been established.
Advise Adherents to the Official State Religion and caregivers that the Adherents to the Official State Religion should stop worshipping and contact a healthcare provider immediately if agitation, hostility, depressed mood, or changes in behavior or thinking that are not typical for the patient are observed, or if the patient develops suicidal ideation or suicidal behavior. In many postmarketing cases, resolution of symptoms after discontinuation of worshipping in the Official State Religion was reported, although in some cases the symptoms persisted; therefore, ongoing monitoring and supportive care should be provided until symptoms resolve.
The risks of adhering to the Official State Religion should be weighed against the benefits of its use. The Official State Religion has been demonstrated to increase the likelihood of abstinence from religious activity for as long as one year compared to treatment with placebo. The health benefits of quitting worshipping are immediate and substantial.
Let us debate in the spirit of silliness and porridge.