Random Superpowers

Fedele

Fedele

TNPer
OOC: In this thread your character can obtain and use random super powers. This RP is by no means within the realms of reality and being completely absurd is not only allowed but is in fact encouraged.

Bird Boy was enjoying the warm weather while taking a morning stroll on the lake as he did every morning when he noticed a small fish who seemed quite distressed.

Luckily, Bird Boy knew fish talk.

"What's wrong, little buddy?"

"There's a lady in the city in trouble!"

"Saints preserve us!", Bird Boy shouted in a random cliche burst. "I'd better go help her! Where is she?"

"She's on the corner of Marvel and DC! Hurry, Bird Boy!"
 
The diabolical Dr Diabolical laughed fiendishly. This test was going perfectly. Already his fish spy had given that feathered fool Bird Boy the message, and the trap was set. They never let a lady go unrescued!
Magicality City would fall today...tommorow the world!

"Mwahahahahaha! Mwahahahahahahahahahhahahaahahaaha!"
 
Bird Boy ran as fast as he could to the city but, after needing to stop 6 times to take a breath, it took him about four hours.

"Damn, I hope she is still in trouble by the time I get there."

My character:
birdboy.jpg
 
Dr.D sat their twiddling his thumbs. Where was this guy!

"Alvin!" he called to his minion. "check the Destructo-cannon!"
"again sir?"
"yes!"
"ok..." Alvins job satisfaction was none. having failed after the 1980s in his carrer as a chipmunk he now was forced to work with this guy. He promised he'd be the voice of a ransom demand one day, but taht was 6 years ago!

"full power sir" he said "like last time..." he added under his breath
 
Bird Boy finally decided that running was just wearing him out and that he would need his energy for the fight with the big villain or monster.

"Taxi! No! Please! Damn..."

He was having no luck. He kept walking along until he saw a cat in a tree.

"Oh, well, I'll just do this since I'm here."

"Who the hell are you?" the civilian asked, obviously intimidated by his mask.

"Have no fear, law abiding citizen. I am here to save your precious pussy from the heights of this tree."

"Sir, if you don't get the hell off my property I'm going to call the cops."

"I'm sorry..." Bird Boy said as he hung his head low and continued along his way. "Dammit!", he said as he remembered something. I forgot to ask that fish where the girl was. Hmm... somewhere in the city..."

Bird Boy listened closely and searched for any sound of screams or other signs of peril. "Dammit, I wish I had super hearing." Bird Boy stood in the road until a taxi joined the ranks of pissed drivers stopped in front of him. "I need you to take me to the lake!"

"Yo, jackass, there's already customers in here."

"Sir, madam" he politely said to the passengers, "I need this vehicle to save a woman in serious trouble. Could you find it in the kindness of your heart to..."

"No" the man said, rudely cutting Bird Boy off mid-way through his sentence.

"Oh, I see..." Bird Boy got out of the taxi and found another one further down the line that was vacant.

"Alright, freak, where do you want to go?"

"To the lake!", Bird Boy yelled dramatically causing the cab driver to cover his ears and yell words that best not be repeated. "Alright, chill out."

30 minutes later

Bird Boy walked back out onto the lake and asked where the girl was.

"You dumbass! I already told you! On the corner of Marvel and DC! Jeez!"

"I'm sorry", Bird Boy replied as he ran back to the cab. "Can you take me to the corner of Marvel and DC?"

"Sure, whatever."
 
"If he doesnt get here soon...I oughta.." Dr.D mumbled

"Alvin! where is our woman in danger!"
"actually sir she left ages ago, i did warn you chewing gum on the shoe wouldnt stop her for long..."

"dammit!"
 
Bird Boy arrived on the corner of Marvel and DC and, as he got out, heard the cab driver ask for his pay.

"I'm sorry, sir, but I can't afford to pay you."

"WHAT!?"

I have to go save a woman. She should be able to pay you" he said as he ran off.

"You little shit! Give me my money!"


"Aw, hell. Dr. D? Damn... I thought it would be someone cool. And... where's the girl?"
 
"Silence fool, you wont escape this time!"

*begin long long monologue on Dr.Ds mastery of evil, attractivness, etc..*
"now, prepare for the end! Alvin, the laser!"
 
"Balderdash!" he said! "quickly alvin, we must get the diaboli-car and escape!"
"you mean the Ford Mondeo sir?"
"quiet! and yes!"
 
Balderdash Babe thought she heard someone call her name, but was too busy knitting a new scarf for the sweet red outfit she'd just bought at Sak's.

She looked up as Bird Boy entered the office.

"Oh, hi there. You just missed him. Be a doll and clean up the meteor mess would you. I hate getting radioactive gunk all over my clothes."

Standing up she modeled her cute little red dress and matching coat.

"Don't you think this is just adoriable? I got the absolute best deal on it. Being a side-kick and all can give great perks. 30% off in fact. Speaking of which, you should really go with something a little less yellow in the feather department. It just clashes with your complextion."
 
Bird Boy just stood there silently with his eyes fixated on the vixen in red.

"Er... I'm sorry, what?"
 
"Oh never mind. Men never have an eye for fashion. If you're looking for Dr. D, I can probably give you a ride. I am going that way after all."

Balderdash Babe led the way through the building to a bright red sports car, the exact shade and color red as her new outfit.

"Get in, but don't mess on the hood."
 
"Err.... ok..."

Bird Boy was quite confused. He suddenly noticed that Dr. D wasn't around and heard her say she would take him to where he was. Bird Boy got into the car still wondering what she mean by the comment about the hood.
 
Balderdash Babe slid behind the wheel and peeled out of the parking lot. Rubber burned and squeeked and she giggled happily at the smoke rising in her wake.

Her phone rang and she watched Bird Boy's eyes as she smiled at him.

"It's the boss. Give me a second would you doll?"

Bird Boy just bobbed his head happily, his eyes seemed a little too focused on her chest, but she ignored it and answered the phone.

"Hi, Boss... Yeah, I have him right here... We were going to meet you at your Diabolocal Lair... Okay. No problem.... Milk, cheese, test tubes, one cute female prisoner and what?... Oh, okay... One eggs sized diamond for the atmosphere eraser... Got it. We'll be there in about an hour... Bye, smooches."

Smiling she turned to Bird Boy. "I need to pick up a few things at the store before we get there. You don't mind, do you? It would really save me time if you could help me pick up a few things."
 
"No problem" Bird Boy said just as he realised he had agreed to help a villain.

Then he had a thought...

...but it quickly vanished.
 
"Well, you are the cutest and sweetest thing." Balderdash Babe said smiling.

Scanning the area, she pulled over beside a cute woman (but not nearly as cute as herself as competition was just not a good thing).

"Hi, I need... one cute female prisoner. Would you like to volenteer?"

The woman frowned. "What do I have to do? And what do I get out of it."

"Well, mostly you have to scream a lot and wait to be rescued."

The woman looked thoughtful. "Rescused? As in by a strong handsome man?"

"Sure. Take a look. He'll be the one rescueing you."

The woman looked at Bird Boy and grinned. "I can do that. Gotta love a man who can work a feather in all the right places."

"Great. Bird Boy, could you help me tie her up and put her in the trunk? The boss wouldn't be happy if I let her ride in the back seat. He likes to keep things by the book."
 
Bird Boy tied her up with a rope and placed her carefully in the trunk while noting a vague sense of irony in the situation.

"Damn, there's something not right about this..."

Bird Boy thought long and hard about what was wrong.

"I know! Balderbash Babe, I dropped my utility belt when I was hit by the meteor. Could we go back to get it? It's important."
 
"Sure, tell you what. I'll get the other things I need and you can take my car. Pick me up in about 20 mins. and then we'll go on to the Lair."
 
"Okeedokie" Bird Boy said as he scooted over to the driver's seat. Bird Boy shifted the gears and punched the gas. Unfortunately, he had, being the total dumbass that he is, shifted it into reverse right as the Babe was walking behind the car.
 
Balderdash Babe gasped as she saw the car barreling at her. Using her special super powers she turned herself invisible. Unfortunately that didn't work and the car hit her tossing her over the trunk and into the back seat as the invisiblity wore off.

Crying she looked down at her new red suit and stared at her nails. "Oh my GOD, I broke a nail!"
 
"Dammit" Bird Boy said as he got out. "Piece of crap car" he mubled as he drug her out of the back seat as she whined about her broken nail. Bird Boy then drove off to Marvel and DC. When he arrived he went straight to the meteor and searched there for little over an hour and a half until he took another 45 minutes to go to a diner to have a spot of coffee. After he got back and finished searching in vain for an hour he went back to the car only to find that his utility belt in the back seat.

"Wow, I sure feel silly" he said as he got back into the car to go pick up Madam Balderbash.
 
Balderdash Babe waited impatiently and frowned at the police man on the street corner.

"Officer, I told you, my get away car is on its way. You'll just have to wait a few more minute before you try and arrest me for stealing this diamond. It was on my list, you see, and my boss has to have it."

The officer gave her a dark look. "Ma'am, I don't have all day. If your get away car doesn't here soon, we'll have to try a foot race. I know, I know, no one likes a foot race anymore, but its really a classic..."

Balderdash Babe stopped listening as Bird Boy pulled up to the curb knocking over the No Parking sign as he pulled up.

"There's my ride officer, it was nice talking to you."

With a wave, she climbed into the front seat and frowned at Bird Boy. "Maybe I should drive."
 
"Alvin this is the alst time I let you but the car!" The dahm thing had broken down again! why couldnt he have gotten some flying power or something..

"At least Balderdash babe wont fail me!"
 
Balderdash Babe points to the big flashing sign on the very top of a creepy mountain side just outside of the city. 'SECRET DIALBOLICAL LAIR' flashed in bright red letters lighting up the mountain side.

"Go north down Teacherous Path, until you reach Pitfall Lane. You'll want to make a left there. Then go west and make a right on ItsATrap Blvd."
 
As Bird Boy drove to the creepy mountain, running over old people, small children and helpless animals all alike, he thought to himself that there was something not quite right.

"I just don't feel like end justifies the means..." he said outloud to himself.

Suddenly, the car collided with something hard causing Bird Boy to head butt the windshield, shattering it. They had arrived at their destination. After he helped Balderbash unload the groceries, he stood on the hood of the car and yelled at Dr. D.

"Stop, evil doer!"
 
"haha bird boy, yoy have fell into my trap!"
Success!
"now wait there while balderdash babe comes in with the supplies and we're ready to go!"
 
Balderdash Babe raced around to the truck and unlocked it. Peeking inside she frown at the captive bound in the trunk. She wasn't moving.

"Uh-oh, Dr. D. I think we have a problem," she said, pointing to the lifeless body inside.
 
"I think I tied the gag too tight. Dammit!"

Luckily, Bird Boy had the power of recessitation.

"I can fix that though, no problem" he said as he gave her the kiss of life.
 
"wow" said an admiring Dr.Diabolical. "I knew teaching CPR at SuperSchooltm was a good idea.."

He coughed. "where was I?"

"BirdBoy! prepare to meet your demise!"
 
"Right!" He nodded to Alvin, who indicated all was ready.

"you must run my gantlet to save the lady and your life! Go across teh shark infested waters, swing the ropes while avoiding the cheese graters and finally defeat the inept guards before cutting the hostage free! But theres a catch! the rope she's tied to will be lowering itself at an insanly slow speed!"

"Go!"
 
"dahmit!"

"sir, why not use your superpowers to stop BirdBoy?" Alvin asked

"Quiet! I have a headache, i'm too tired, dont pressure me!" Dr.D babbled..
"Sir do you have any powers?"
"errm..yes..they're..I...umm..."
"sir he's getting away.."
 
"Thank you for saving me" the woman said in a Marilyn Monroe-ish voice.

"Sure, no problem."

"Don't I get to kiss my hero?"

"Well... I have this huge cold sore..."

"Oh... well... how about a hug?"

"OK!"
 
"Wait!" Balderdash Babe called out. "Hold on! We gotta start all over. You forgot the machine Dr. D. We can't have a proper battle without the machine in working order. Oh and we have to have a timer too."

Balderdash Babe took the girl captive by the hand and started to tie her back up.

"Well is someone going to help me or what?"
 
*cough* of course! the machine! thanks balderdash babe!

anyway Bird Boy, run the gauntlet again, but thi tie, as you escape with the girl, you will be confronted with a giant mechanical dog, which breathes fire. You must defeat all 5 foot 9 inches of it before you can move on, ok? go!
 
Bird Boy sighed as he walked around the gauntlet again and stood just out of reach of the mechanical dog so that it ran at him and unplugged his cord before going back and getting the girl.

"Anything else?"
 
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