What's Under Their Bed?

^ Sixteen used tissues, and two unused; a box for a 3DS XL (the actual 3DS never came, though); 6.9 half-used bottles of Clorox; and a spoon.
 
^ two newspapers, one from 1997 with two articles cut out from d4 and some words highlighted; the other from 2001 with your name written on it in big, pink letters.
 
^ Nicol Bolas (2UUBBRR)
Legendary Creature - Elder Dragon
Flying
At the beginning of your upkeep, sacrifice
Nicol Bolas unless you pay UBR.
Whenever Nicol Bolas deals damage to
an opponent, that player discards his or
her hand
Dominaria's most ancient evil.
 
Every teen has a guide to sarcasm. It comes from the brain, not the bed.

^ A pile of dirty socks, two empty tubes of toothpaste and a plushie of yourself.
 
Some people do not understand sarcasm, though, so they need to be taught.

^ a half-eaten hamburger, several cucumbers and a smashed phone.
 
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