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I Am...

Nope. I am the Holy Text of Blackness.

I am perusing the Penny Arcade! forums where I read this about the new Transformers:

I know this movie is going to break my heart into little pieces and jam it into it's own asshole and fart it into a coconut pie that it will force me to eat, but I'll be there buying tickets.

Additional: I hate coconut
 
I ma not really hoping for much from the Transformers movie.

though I have heard that Optimus will be a fire truck. Hellz yes.
 
That's still sacrelidge.
No. It is not. Fire trucks are bitchin', virile, manly, and heroic, all in one. Optimus can be a fire truck, and there is nothing wrong with it. He should be a semi, but a fire truck is quite acceptable.

I am a holder of strong opinions.
 
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