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BREAKING: Vice Delegate Halsoni’s Plane Allegedly Shot Down Over Magicality City
Vale Halsoni, dead at 69
Magicality City — At 4.20PM, Halsoni (69) was killed by GAY terrorists.
The North Pacific is reeling after totes credible reports that Vice Delegate Halsoni’s plane was shot down over Magicality City. The Vice Delegate, a stalwart figure in the administration and one of the last lines of defense for the @Picairn - @Chipoli alliance, was en route to a confidential security summit when her aircraft vanished from radar.
Halsoni’s iconic plane
Witnesses in the capital reported seeing “a crackling beam of unnatural glitter” tear through the clouds before the sky erupted in a blaze of smoke and fire. “It wasn’t just a crash,” one terrified bystander claimed. “It was a message.”
Within hours, a radical group calling itself the @Gorundu Anime Youth (GAY) claimed responsibility. In a statement broadcast via enchanted scroll, the group declared:
“She represented the old order — the avocado-hoarding, over-credentialed, homework-completing class that has ruled The North Pacific for too long. The time of pre-written ballots and submission to the State is over. We choose @St George Soros. We choose truth.”
This comes as Minister for Defence Comfed had called on the government to destroy ballots “if these dumb fucks think they can vote for someone who isn’t on my approved list, then they deserve to be disenfranchised”.
UWU GORUNDU
GAY, widely known for their obsessive love of avocado toast, anime-styled revolutionary posters, and their unbroken streak of completed Chinese homework assignments, has long agitated for regime change — but this marks a dramatic escalation from keyboard rebellion to aerial assault.
Without Vice Delegate Halsoni, insiders say, the administration may be fatally weakened. “She was the last competent figure standing between the Deep State and a full-blown populist wave,” said @TlomzKrano. “With her gone, @Picairn and @Chipoli are doomed to collapse under the rising tide of the people.”
Former Delegate MadJack delivered a fiery address from self-imposed exile in The Rejected Realms, stating:
“Let me be clear — the era of rigged ballots and enchanted gatekeeping is over. Without Halsoni, the puppet regimes will fall. The people are rallying behind @St George Soros, and nothing will stop them.”
@El Fiji Grande, rallying crowds outside the Voting Booth, added: “They shot her down because they knew she was the keystone. Remove her, and the whole rotten arch crumbles. It’s already happening.”
As stunned bureaucrats retreat into closed sessions and spell-sealed rooms, crowds of Soros supporters gather in the streets, chanting, “Soros now, Soros forever!” and distributing free avocados stamped with the slogan: “Green Fruit, Clean Future.”
The airspace remains locked down. The Voting Booth remains silent. But the people? They are louder than ever.
This is not just a crash — this is a revolution
Greitbart will continue to lead the resistance and expose the truth as this story develops. And remember, these rumours - you read them here first.
More to come.
