The Security Council,
Applauding the effort taken to commemorate a starch that has had countless benefits to nations, individuals and cults alike,
Believing however in a balanced and diverse diet,
Worried that making potatoes the sole official food of the Security Council will make other staple foods, such as corn and rice, be devalued and harder to come by, thus creating potential famines, homogeneity, or blander dishes,
Regretting that making one food and plant alike more supreme than all others is a form of prejudice, and is nothing short of institutionalized specism and foodism against all non-potato plants and cultural cuisines alike,
Disgusted that potatoes have been objectified as a "model vegetable", forcing them to live up to an unnecessarily high standard as the "supreme vegetable",
Awestruck that the sweet potato is not clearly defined as a co-superior vegetable or as an inferior one, as the writing makes no mention of them anywhere, yet they seem to fit the description of what exactly a potato is,
Surprised that the passed legislation defines potatoes as ovoid tubers that can be cooked, which implies that other ovoid tubers, which could be interpreted to mean other vegetables such as yams or taro, may also be potatoes,
Concerned that the opposing interpretation of said definition disregards the existence of sentient potatoes, possibly including the subspecies "couch potato", to which could be correctly defined by the target resolution as an officially recognized food source that can safely be boiled or mashed,
Saddened that an official food is forced onto individuals who are potatose intolerant, who cannot or will not consume potatoes for personal, health, or moral reasons, or have never even seen or heard of a potato,
Appalled that many foods derived from potatoes are in fact absurdly unhealthy, and have been a major contribution to rising levels in obesity, diabetes, and other significant health problems,
Stunned that international legislation infringes upon the sovereign rights of nations to decide for themselves what foods should or should not be official, or whether potatoes exist,
Ashamed of the implication that potatoes are always a symbol of friendship and unity, as many cultures and nations do not assign them any symbolic meaning whatsoever, while others may hold drastically different value to them, including as a symbol of war, especially depending on context or circumstance,
Acknowledging that though they may be an incredibly environmentally sustainable crop, the resolution does not consider mushrooms, seaweed, filter feeding, or other crops that may be more efficient at feeding a hungry population in an environmentally sustainable way,
Disheartened that potatoes have been associated with countless suffering, primarily from choking hazards, food poisoning, radiation poisoning, potato allergy, and hostile invasion,
Fearful of the incentive the target creates for anarchists to specifically target potatoes should they choose to commit actions against society, thus increasing the potential risk of vegetative specicide, or, conversely, incentivize the creation of potaterrorist groups which commit specicide against other crops, thus creating yet another needless incentive for war between factions,
Frustrated that the resolution may have itself been a doctrine created to appeal to potatoes, which may or may not have high-ranking roles in the Security Council, which would indicate the target resolution as a clear political move holding no virtue other than to help those at the top of the food chain maintain their positions of power,
Uneased that the target resolution also officially recognizes zombie potato hordes responsible for wreaking astronomical damage through nuclear warfare, while portraying this as somehow being a "positive" attribute of both the legislation and potatoes overall,
Weary of the mysterious circumstances surrounding regular crop disappearances, primarily among potatoes, in increasingly frequent and suspicious bureaucratic mixups, corrupt black market reselling, or alien potato abductions,
Suspicious that such mysterious disappearances coincide with "fulfilled campaign promises" of "potato delivery", as well as their unusual appearance as the sole food in the target-mentioned trade fair,
Confused by the insinuation that potatoes will certainly feature prominently in future events, a statement that not only may be false but also sticks out like a sore spud in international legislation,
Believing that the Security Council isn't even the correct legislative body to be acknowledging, regulating, or praising potatoes in any way, even in spite of it always being on the right side of matters,
Hereby repeals Security Council Resolution 419, "On The Supremacy Of The Potato".
