The Security Council,
Relieved it is finally safe to emerge from the bunker of the World Assembly Headquarters,
Concerned about the number of World Assembly ambassadors inquiring about the nearest supply of “brainsssssss,”
Wondering if this is due to the recent resurgence of the zombie virus or whether these esteemed ambassadors are simply taunting their colleagues,
Realizzzzzzing the zombie virus reappears at suspiciously consistent intervals of time, extremely similar to the annual “N-Day,”
Asserts that the tenth resurgence of the zombie virus, hereby denoted as “Z-Day,” has recently concluded across the multiverse,
Distraught that this iteration of Z-Day claimed the lives of more citizens of the multiverse than ever before, with a shocking 743.3 trillion brains consumed by the virus, with an additional 168.4 trillion life-forms still being afflicted before a cure could be found,
Disgusted at the blunders of the World Z-Day Preparedness Center insofar that there “cure” has failed to prevent the zombie virus from carving through the multiverse every year, claiming hundreds of trillions of innocent lives,
Horrified that seven hours into the tenth Z-Day, the data banks of the World Z-Day Preparedness Center suddenly crashed, losing all progress on a cure to the novel zombie virus and allowing the undead to gain a critical foothold,
Lauding the groundbreaking strategies employed by
The North Pacific allowing them to finish Z-Day with not even a single zombie left to feast on the delicious and delectable brains of their population of 28.7 trillion, the largest amount of citizens housed by a region in the entire multiverse,
Noting that while the guidelines of the annual “N-Day” are clearly understood by all nations of the multiverse, confusion abounds among less organized regions and nations on how to combat the zombie apocalypse and what the information put forth by the World Z-Day Preparedness Center during the crisis actually means,
Wondering if, in light of all these events, the World Z-Day Preparedness Center is actually on the side of the living,
Seeking to unmask the secrets of this organization so that this Security Council may better prepare for the inevitable future battle against the zombies,
Hereby affirms that:
- nations have three options to pursue during Z-Day: utilizing Tactical Zombie Elimination Squads to murder the undead, researching a cure to the zombie virus and using missiles to convert zombies back to living citizens, or embracing Zombie Hordes by spreading the infection to other nations within a region,
- the zombie apocalypse persists for approximately 36 hours,
- the “Z-Rating” put forth by the World Z-Day Preparedness Center indicates the change in zombie populations within regions as the event progresses, with a negative Z-Rating indicating that zombie populations are being converted to the living while a positive Z-Rating indicates living populations are turned into zombies,
- multiple factors influence this Z-Rating, including: the number of nations within a region researching a cure to the zombie virus, the size of nations within a region researching a cure to the zombie virus, and the amount of living citizens vs. infected citizens within a region,
- the potency of Cure Missiles is influenced by the living population of the nation firing the missile as well as the zombie population of the nation being fired upon, with these Missiles curing less and less citizens as the zombie population decreases,
- having no zombies within a nation decreases the speed of cure research,
- the effectiveness of Zombie Hordes is similar to that of Cure Missiles, with the zombie population of the nation unleashing the horde being the biggest factor,
- the effectiveness of Tactical Zombie Elimination Squads is not impacted by the decreasing zombie population of a targeted nation,
- if left unchecked, zombies will begin to turn into dead citizens naturally,
Hoping this information will aid in the annual battle against the undead,
Hereby declares this Council’s steadfast commitment against the zombie horde, using whatever means necessary to safeguard the exquisite brains of the citizens of the world.
