The Security Council,
Appreciating the immense work that national leaders face on a daily basis to keep their respective nations functioning smoothly,
Realizing that these leaders often face crises of a potentially national scale, which must be dealt with quickly and decisively on top of leaders' nominal workload lest said crises metastasize into crippling catastrophes,
Noting, however, that there exist malicious actors who will stop at nothing to exploit the busyness and gullibility of the average modern leader to nefarious ends, in an area where any mistake can have disastrous consequences,
Disgusted at the relentless efforts of
The Free Joy State to actively manipulate the decisions of national leaders and precipitate these calamities on a multiversal scale,
Understanding that The Free Joy State has undertaken no fewer than three confirmed mass infiltration operations that could potentially undermine the stability of any nation in existence at any time, and which this Council has been utterly powerless to stop to this day, including:
- Operation #522, codename "Time To Get Serious", in which Free Joyish agents pose as dour faith leaders and attempt to convince national leaders to outlaw laughter, thereby making a mockery of national governments and sowing the seeds of mass unrest in one fell swoop,
- Operation #549, codename "Feasting Or Fasting?", in which Free Joyish stealth teams abduct the nephews of national leaders and brainwash said nephews into coercing their aunts and uncles into tossing untold scores of overweight teenagers into gladiatorial arenas, a cruel and petty mission which only exemplifies the utter depravity of The Free Joy State, and
- a far more secretive plot, Operation #559 (codename "The Low Aspiration Nation"), in which operatives of The Free Joy State infiltrate the highest levels of national governments across the multiverse in an effort to trick national leaders into enslaving their own populations, a scheme so heinous even The Free Joy State's government sought to avoid being directly associated with it, leading to it being staged out of the puppet state of The New Bluestocking Homeland,
Mortified by The Free Joy State's rampant attempts to twist and corrupt the hard work of other governments to assist national leaders in running their nations,
Reviling in horror at the blatant oppression that permeates every corner of Free Joyish society, which manifests through unnerving policies such as corporal punishment, conscription, human sacrifice, a lack of any judiciary, slavery, child labor, a complete crackdown on computers and the Internet, feudalism, outlawing public protest, and banning people from entering or leaving the country,
Nauseated by the blatantly advertised villainy of The One True Church of the Exalted Holiness and Free Joyish institutions at large, who take a bizarre pride in their crimes against their own people, including overt racism, weekly public executions, and utter contempt for the environment and the health of their citizens,
Resolving to at least recognize the despicable endeavors of this grotesque excuse of a nation, even though they may never be stopped,
Hereby condemns
The Free Joy State.
