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Breaking News | Prime Minister of Slatos Throws Hissy Fit After Failed Raid
OPINION ARTICLE by Deerf
Fast forward to Stargate
Stargate is a region in the world. It is allied to many regions, but one of the most important things about this is that they are allied with our glorious North Pacific. The region of Slatos, a self-proclaimed “defender”, came right in and attempted to raid Stargate. However, that mission, much like their region and their leadership, was a failure, and the Northerners laughed them out of Stargate. Stargate recovered very quickly, and you, valued Greitbart reader, would think that that is where the story of Slatos ended. However… You’d be wrong.
The Prime Minister of Slatos, Slatos, came to the North Pacific Regional Message Board and immediately started trying to act tough. All because he is being tried for treason. He starts to play the victim by saying things like, “TNP discord is pushing me, the things they say are just really starting to piss me off, I tried being nice”, “I've done nothing”, or “You guys have gone WAY too far with all this”. Soon after, local resident, Dreadton, started to say where Slatos was wrong in his logic. The Gameside Advocate, Deerfenland, could not effectively stop the third-degree burns that Dreadton was inflicting on Slatos.
This went on for some time until the delegate, McMasterdonia, his glorious self, released the following statement.
I’ll be suppressing any more posts by the FAILED prime minister of SLATOS!
Slatos has been treating us so badly. Badlier than you would ever believe, trust me. I’m not sure why they would call Stargate “random and founderless” when I would never call them “irrelevant and asinine”. Oh well! Maybe some day they will be my friend.
I just came out of this great little meeting with the King of Slatos. He had many wonderful things to say about me! Couldn’t believe how high my approval numbers are or how beautiful my wife is - but asked me specifically why TNL never reports on it? Finally a good f*cking question
Well what do we say to that? Fake news! Fake news! Sad! TNL will never report the truth about this! Slatos knows this, you know it, I know it!
Still people come to me and they say “Mr Delegate can you please not raid Slatos?” And I say “why?” they say “because mr delegate our parliament just made RAIDING illegal!! We are now defender?” And I said “look ok, but what does this have to do with anything? Did you see the election results - over 100% of people voted for me and my polling is EVEN higher!
Incredible what can be achieved. I was a businessman you know - I left a very good job where I made far more money to enter public service! People said it couldn’t be done. But you proved them wrong - look at what you did! Incredible. Congratulations, thank you, thank you. We’ve made TNP great again. Our army is the strongest in the world ! Our troops finally have what they need to succeed. Our diplomacy has never been better! Meme manufacturing jobs are through the roof!
As of now, Slatos’s hissy fit has been suspended, but we can expect the “Prime Minister” to start acting like a toddler once again in the next few days.
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