- TNP Nation
- McMasterdonia
Opinion:
Is El Fiji Grande the worst Speaker we’ve ever had
Magicality City, The North Pacific
Greitbart takes great pride in our independence and attention to the details. We are willing to ask the tough questions that few have even considered. After Hero of the North @Romanoffia presented a motion to recall @El Fiji Grande from the office of Speaker of the Regional Assembly, this question drew the attention of the collective IQ of 4 that makes up Greitbart's editorial team.
Is El Fiji Grande the worst Speaker we’ve ever had? The answer to this question is yes. The answer took our reporters to the farthest corners of The North Pacific to find people who agreed with our opinion.
Since being elected Speaker of the Regional Assembly, El Fiji Grande has not put a single proposal to a vote, despite the demands of Regional Assembly members. He has not granted citizenship to a single member of The North Pacific. He has not updated the membership rolls. He has refused to consider even the most trivial of changes to our legislation.
His supporters don’t seem to care that El Fiji Grande spends most of his time writing propaganda for the leftist media outlet “The Northern Lights”. El Fiji fan @Syrixia described him as “Daddy” and refused to be drawn into any of the many negative questions we posed to him.
Others were more than willing to participate in our blatant partisanship masquerading as independent reporting. Speaking to Greitbart on Face the Region hosted by @TlomzKrano, @bootsie said that “This is worse than the time the Guinea Pig created the acceptable words list.”
This stunning criticism proved to be just the very beginning. Shocking revelations have been leaked to Greitbart by Deputy Speaker @Bobberino, who was prepared to go on the record to speak out against his boss.
“El Fiji Grande is an abusive boss, who clearly requires far too much of his Deputies. He hired Deputies on to man all his different projects... and then doesn't do anything himself other than abuse his deputies. If we do not meet his deadlines we do not get rations for a month... and his torture chambers are a regular sight for all of us. I only remain alive because of NPA High Command's additional rations, but I remain at a measly 97 pounds.”
”I am not the Speaker!!!” insists Fiji (pictured)
Meanwhile Speaker El Fiji Grande has insisted that he is not in fact the Speaker. Onlookers recalled a time when Speaker of the Regional Assembly Govindia refused to be removed from the dark assembly halls - thanks to the protection of the great Grosseschnauzer. But never before has a Speaker simply denied their occupancy of an office they were elected to.
The Regional Assembly upon hearing that Fiji claimed to not even be the Speaker
Former Speakers of the Regional Assembly and close political allies, @Wonderess and @Darcania also spoke to Greitbart news about the latest occupant of the Speaker’s chair. Wonderess called into Radio Greitbart on Sunday afternoon to speak to the ‘@Pallaith Battlers’, key supporters of the Delegate who tune into the afternoon drive home show hosted by McMasterdonia.
Wonderess said "I for one am tired of Fiji's speakership. It's like he doesn't even know he has the job or something.”. Darcania described Fiji’s term as “even worse than the term of the Duck Who Must Not Be Named. He also didn’t know he had the job”.
Finally, members of the North Pacific will have the chance to remove the worst Speaker the region has ever seen. That is saying something. This is the region who elected Govindia.
Romanoffia has presented a motion to remove the Speaker El Fiji for personal attacks, refusing to move a motion to table, refusing to take something (unclear what) to an immediate vote, and for being incompetent in his office.
“What difference does it make?” - Romanoffia when hearing that El Fiji said he was not the Speaker
Finally, North Pacificans have the chance to rid our assembly from this truly despicable menace. Nevertheless, some members of his staff including Artemis are fighting back insisting that the motion will not proceed.
We hope that in these dark times, our readers will unite together and fight back.
