The Mallorean Inquirer

After very little thought I've decided to open up my own news service here on the UDL forums. The Mallorean Inquirer, TMI, will be investigating all the stories that the UDL viewers want to hear about. The first set of updates will be coming soon, and will cover whatever comes to mind. I am looking for writers and spies, please message me any stories you would like posted, topics you would like covered, or people you would like defamed.

Upcoming Articles
  • Analysis of UDL Officers, past and present
  • Why Defending?

Published Articles
Ongoing Segments

Interview with Treize, Delegate of Osiris

The Mallorean Inquirer caught up with Treize Dreizehn, current Delegate of Osiris and leader of the nation of Douria, outside his estate just minutes ago.

[15:30] <Mall> Yo
<Treize_Dreizehn> I AM YO'D
<Treize_Dreizehn> 'sup

<Mall> I just opened up my own news service on the UDL forums and I want to interview someone, want to answer some questions that I'll make up on the fly?

<Treize_Dreizehn> Sure.

<Mall> Solid. Alright first question: what first spurred you into entering the wide world known as gameplay and feeder/sinker politics?

<Treize_Dreizehn> I thought it would be fun.

<Mall> What would you say was the best part about being in the UDL besides having unlimited access to trolling Mahaj?

<Treize_Dreizehn> I wouldn't say that trolling of any kind was my primary purpose, nor a primary benefit of my time in UDL. The connections I made, the friendships I've developed, those are the lasting legacy of my time there.

<Mall> A respectable sentiment. As the Delegate of Osiris you have seen some fairly chaotic events unfold as of late, namely the coup of The South Pacifc and the souring of relations between many of the feeder regions. What do you think the future holds for interfeeder and intersinker relations?

<Treize_Dreizehn> I'm not sure that a war is unavoidable, but I've been working tirelessly to prevent the next one. There are high profile persons, agitating, I think, for conflict. The future will be determined by how well the reasonable and decent folks react to that.
<Treize_Dreizehn> One hopes the future involves activity and peace, but who knows.

<Mall> Would you like to elaborate on the identity of these individuals who are agitating, or would you prefer to leave that to the readers to determine?

<Treize_Dreizehn> I don't think I need to, the problems we're facing are clear to anyone paying attention.

<Mall> Changing the topic slightly, recently the UDL has been seeking to elect a new leader. As the Delegate of a sinker, what role do you see the UDL playing in this political scramble, if any?

<Treize_Dreizehn> Which political scramble?
<Treize_Dreizehn> The "future" as I've ambiguously defined it? ;)

<Mall> Heh the scramble that may potentially lead to war, dealing with the agitators that you alluded to.

<Treize_Dreizehn> There are clear problems to deal with. I trust UDL's leadership to make the right calls when the time comes.

<Mall> A very diplomatic answer! Do you prefer to be referred to as Treize or Douria?

<Treize_Dreizehn> Treize, as a rule.

<Mall> So all this time that I have called you Douria I have probably been annoying you?

<Treize_Dreizehn> You knew me before from AO. It doesn't bother me either way, but I have a preference.
<Treize_Dreizehn> Treize_Dreizehn is the leader of Douria.
<Treize_Dreizehn> So, that's the part I play in most politics.
<Treize_Dreizehn> From an RP perspective, it makes more sense, from gameplay perhaps, not so much.

<Mall> Good to know. Now we enter the bonus round, answers are worth double here. What was your initial reaction to hearing that Unibot was retiring?

<Treize_Dreizehn> That meant he was leaving.
<Treize_Dreizehn> A bit obvious, perhaps, but initial reaction nonetheless.

<Mall> Well played indeed. If you could go back and reverse one decision that you made in NS, what would it be?

<Treize_Dreizehn> None. I've made mistakes, sure, but everything I've done has led me to where I am right now. I don't see that as a bad thing.

<Mall> Treize it's been an absolute pleasure, I think you are one of the most successful players to enter into the feeder/sinker dynamic in recent memory. Is there anything else you'd like to say to the readers before the interview ends?

<Treize_Dreizehn> Don't forget to be awesome.

<Mall> Well said. Thank you for your time!

Treize comes from humble beginnings, entering Osiris and ascending to the position of Vizier of WA Affairs he was instrumental in the passage of the Friendship Treaty between Osiris and AO. He would later be elected Kai while Madjack assumed the delegacy. Following Madjack's resignation Treize would take over the Delegacy and has since served Osiris as my personal favorite Pharaoh.

TMI Reporting
Interview with "Chairman" Milograd, Former Delegate of The South Pacific


This is yet another issue of The Mallorean Inquirer, coming to you live from a closed off hideout somewhere in The Pacific. In this special edition I had the pleasure of interviewing Milograd, the infamous former delegate of The South Pacific. The focus of this interview was originally to ask the questions that other interviews have thus far failed to address, but a potential scandal has been revealed as it is alleged that The South Pacific was planning to launch an invasion of The Rejected Realms.


Parts of the interview were rearranged for reading convenience.


19:12 Mall: alright here in a top secret location is Milograd, perpetrator of the Coup of TSP.

19:12 Mall: Milo pleasure to be with you.



19:12 Milograd: Hello.



19:13 Mall: Milo the question that has been asked and answered a thousand times is boring, so I won't ask why you did it. But I will ask who was the most fun to ban?



19:14 Milograd: No one will know my actual reasons for doing it for at least a few years. :P

19:14 Milograd: And most fun to ban? Probably Heronlord from The East Pacific's army. It was like a game of ping-pong.

19:14 Milograd: Least favorite was probably 1 Infinite Loop, because I felt bad about that one afterwards. That's the only one I felt bad about.

19:15 Milograd: But alas he was a reactionary agent.



19:17 Mall: Totally understandable. Recently we have seen your Court case take an interesting turn as practically every agent of the Coalition has essentially declared that you will be found guilty, and that is that. What is your response to this trial?



19:18 Milograd: Oh, it's a complete and utter joke.

19:18 Milograd: HEM is as neutral as Lenin was capitalist. He is absolutely unqualified to serve as the chief justice.

19:19 Milograd: Hell, he claims that he was purged.

19:19 Milograd: How could he be less biased? :P

19:19 Milograd: It's a show trial and a sham.



19:19 Mall: You also levied very serious accusations against both Bel and Hile regarding a planned invasion of TRR. Would you like to share this story with TMI?



19:19 Milograd: Heh, sure.

19:20 Milograd: During my delegacy I was approached by Bel about bringing back old plans to life regarding TRR. This was roughly when SovCon was founded.



19:21 Mall: Do tell!



19:21 Milograd: Bel never really got over the Devonitians coup (which he still, for whatever reason, insists TRR was behind) and, according to him, Hileville approved of a plan to try to take the delegacy during his term -- I have no confirmation that Hile was did that, to be honest, but I wouldn't be surprised. However, Bel was very interested and insistent on doing it.



19:22 Mall: And what was the plan specifically?



19:23 Milograd: There were two potential ones -- both were pretty shoddy.



19:23 Mall: And what prevented the plans from being attempted?



19:23 Milograd: The first was that Bel would move his main nation, Belschaft, to TSP and get appointed to the vice-delegacy. He'd tart up a bit and I'd systematically purge new nations so that he could take the delegacy.

19:24 Milograd: The second was that he'd just tart his way to the delegacy, which, as far as I know, hasn't been done in TRR since 2003.



19:24 Milograd: Mall: Well, nothing at first -- I approved of it, but it didn't happen because I eventually shut it down. Bel expressed interest in continuing it after my term though.

19:25 Milograd: Ultimately it's kind of funny, seeing as he likes to whine about GCR unity. :P

19:25 Milograd: It's unsurprising though given his election rigging in Balder, lol.



19:25 Mall: Fascinating. Obviously Bel and Hile have denied these accusations, do you know of any other government members who were aware of this plan?



19:26 Milograd: No, it was just them.

19:26 Milograd: Even the cabinet wasn't alerted.



19:26 Mall: So they intended to act without the permission of any other part of the government?



19:26 Milograd: From what I was able to tell, yep.

19:27 Milograd: Bel was Minister of Security during my delegacy, and I think he was -- though I'd have to check -- during Hile's. It was supposed to be a closed off thing.

19:28 Milograd: Behind closed doors they're actually pretty skeptical of the cabinet, which is amusing. Hileschaftgrad was a joke of ours that was made because, as Bel described it, we were "powerbrokers" in the region. HEM was never trusted with anything like this because he was viewed with suspicion due to his Euro ties, and Bel doesn't trust Ant for shit, lol. Admittedly, Ant is a solid TSPer even though he made the mistake of trying to overthrow the NPO a while back.

19:29 Milograd: Nor does Hile, though they like to keep him on a leash (i.e. when they had him hold down WA's delegacy for nearly a year to keep him away from TSP). They think he is useful for activity though.

19:29 Milograd: Originally they tried to get me to re-run for delegacy because they thought the candidates -- GE, DM, and Ant -- were all incompetent.

19:30 Milograd: Hile decided to run at the last minute to ensure that the "incompetents" would be scared off and because he wanted to finally run against me in a "fair" election. So all three of those candidates dropped out, lol.



19:27 Mall: Interesting indeed. Going back to your coup, there has been a large amount of speculation regarding the third member of the Troika. Would you like to tell us who it was?



19:30 Milograd: Mall: I'd have to ask him. Not sure if he is willing to come out yet.



19:30 Mall: It certainly seems as though TSP politics were dominated by one group. And you couldn't be bribed or persuaded into telling us?

19:30 Milograd: lol

19:31 Milograd: and yeah, it sort of was.

19:31 Milograd: It was pretty divided but a charade of unity was maintained.

19:32 Milograd: Amongst active people, it was Bel-Milo-Hile at the top, then Ant-RT-GE-DM as "incompetent people who we can get to do stuff", then Penguin, Alv, and so on as "incompetent spammers who help make us look active but shouldn't be given any real authority."

19:32 Milograd: Those aren't my own words in any other way except that they are paraphrased. Lost a lot of logs when my computer broke. :/



19:32 Mall: That is truly unfortunate.



19:32 Milograd: Enh, yeah. I got tired of it.



19:33 Mall: Do you believe that the plan regarding TRR may be reactivated?



19:33 Milograd: I wouldn't be surprised.

19:33 Milograd: Bel never let it go. It was absurd.

19:33 Milograd: "It's hardly news that we don't like TRR, and vice versa."

19:33 Milograd: "'I'm even more disappointed in seeing our erstwhile allies entering into an alliance with The Rejected Realms. Friendly relations with TRR are incompatible with being an ally of TSP."

19:34 Milograd: Those quotes are from *2013*, and are available in GP.

19:34 Milograd: Like, seriously -- the TSP coup was in 2011, and TRR wasn't even behind it.

19:34 Milograd: Bel did mention that he would probably want to pursue it after my delegacy, so I guess I could see it being reactivated.



19:34 Mall: Do other members of TSP blame TRR for the Dev Coup?



19:35 Milograd: Mall: At this point, most of the people in TSP weren't around for Devon.

19:35 Milograd: Hile doesn't, Ant doesn't, SB doesn't (or has forgiven them, I'm not positive with where SB stands), etc.

19:35 Milograd: It's a radical view lol. Bel is an outlier and always has been in that regard.

19:37 Milograd: In any event, it's always amusing to hear him whine about GCR sovereignty and unity when he plotted to coup TRR and committed election fraud in Balder.

19:37 Milograd: 19:33 Mall: Would you be willing to share any remaining logs with TMI? <<< I have one shoddy log saved, yeah.



19:39 Milograd: My favorite part of this all is how Bel refuses to acknowledge that it's true and that my posts revealing it on TSP's forum were suppressed. Hile lied straight to #TNP's face and said that nothing was suppressed, and only reversed the suppression when he was called out on it by other people who saw it disappear. They clearly had/have something to hide, lol.



19:39 Milograd: The Coalition has free speech until you reveal their backroom plots to coup TRR. :p

19:45 Milograd: Admittedly, I never actually discussed the coup plot with Hile so I can't be certain that he was actually involved, but Bel definitely was.

19:46 Milograd: It was conducted through PMs, and Bel said Hile was involved, so that's what I have to go off of.



19:47 Mall: Now I recall a friendship announcement being put forward between TRR and TSP. Would you like to elaborate on it?



19:47 Milograd: Oh, yeah.

19:48 Milograd: I released that a day or two after Bel started trying to get the invasion plot alive again.



19:48 Mall: What was the purpose of it then?



19:48 Milograd: I eventually concluded that his plan was shit and that it wasn't reasonable to go for it, so I wanted to bury the plan once in for all.

19:48 Milograd: thus, the statement.



19:49 Mall: Now Bel, as a member of the UDL, would seemingly be against couping TRR. What do you attribute his UDL membership to?



19:49 Milograd: lol

19:49 Milograd: Bel wanted Uni out of the UDL for a long while.

19:50 Milograd: He even bragged about trying to replace Uni, if you recall that. :P

19:50 Milograd: When Uni retired he saw the opportunity to influence the UDL again due to his old guard status and returned to them to influence their elections, even after going against them publicly for a long while. He admitted this to me.



19:51 Mall: So was TSP looking to influence the UDL election which is still ongoing?



19:51 Milograd: Nah, I think a lot of TSP was like me -- tired of hearing about the UDL entirely.

19:51 Milograd: But Bel definitely wanted to.

19:51 Milograd: It drove me nuts.



19:51 Mall: Why is that?



19:52 Milograd: I independently made a comment at one point about how I thought Campinia was a good choice and it was stated that this was TSP trying to influence their elections, which was untrue.

19:52 Milograd: Then, a day or two later, Bel PMs me and asks me to bend over backwards, have TSP apologize for victimizing the UDL, and have us get friendly with them again while he set the conclave up in his/our interests. :|

19:52 Milograd: "Our" being TSP, though really I don't think other members of the Coalition would have approved of it.



19:53 Mall: Is this ongoing as far as you know?



19:53 Milograd: Oh, most definitely.

19:53 Milograd: He's still a member of the conclave. Even though he had no presence in the UDL and was actually against them until the leadership elections started. :P

19:53 Milograd: He saw the chance to influence something powerful and went for it.

19:54 Milograd: I can't blame him, really, but it's awfully hypocritical.

19:55 Milograd: and moreover, he wanted me to make *TSP* bend over for them.

19:55 Milograd: Which was terribly annoying.

19:55 Milograd: Honestly, it was probably one of the things that made me decide that the Coalition was hopeless.



19:54 Mall: Do you know which way he is trying to push the conclave? A particular candidate?



19:54 Milograd: I have no clue.

19:54 Milograd: I just said "no" (but later said "yes") and didn't talk to him about it anymore afterwards, because I thought it was bloody stupid.

19:54 Milograd: I wanted absolutely nothing to do with the UDL but to leave them be, and he wanted to drag us back into their mess.

20:00 Milograd: ...actually, now that I think about it, I think he preferred that Elu become CoB -- a good choice, to be honest.

20:02 Milograd: He thought Mahaj was a "grossly incompetent Uni caricature", that Cormac was a [competent] hothead, and that Tim was "meh" and too questionable given his raiding history.

20:07 Milograd: amendment to the 20:04 comment -- he also thinks Sovreigny is a "userite". I had to laugh at that one.



19:55 Mall: These have been some very serious accusations, do you believe people will believe you? Do you believe they should?



19:56 Milograd: I imagine some people will believe me and some won't.

19:56 Milograd: I mean, people will obviously be skeptical of the big bad couper's claims, but those who actually pay attention and are intelligent should be able to connect the dots.



20:03 Mall: Is there anything else you'd like to tell the readers before the interview comes to an end?



20:04 Milograd: I guess it's worth noting that I like Bel personally, but dislike the way he plays from my perspective as a player. Just 'cause I don't want people thinking that I associate in-game stuff with personal stuff. <_<



20:05 Mall: I'm going to have to agree there. And for the record, Bel, I love you. I'm just the one conducting the interview here.



20:04 Mall: Thoughts on the Conclave?



20:04 Milograd: Mall: What a godawful voting system lol.

20:05 Milograd: I don't think they'll get an eighty percent majority for a long time.



20:05 Mall: Yes, it is a rather high threshold.



20:06 Milograd: I'd just have Elu throw together some kind of "first, second, third" choice system.

20:06 Milograd: With points.

20:06 Milograd: Have a campaign period for five days and then hold the vote on the weekend after sending a mass PM alerting people about it.



20:07 Mall: Indeed, I'm sure many are wondering at this point why on earth they have set up such a complex system. But it has been an absolute pleasure Milo. I wish you the best of luck in your future endeavours, and I will certainly enjoy working with you in a Black Hawk capacity.



20:08 Milograd: And thank you. I'm not sure if I'll like raiding too much yet -- I'm just tentatively experimenting with it for the time being to see if it's a practice I enjoy -- but you seem like you'd be good to work with. ;)



20:09 Mall: I'm sure we could have great fun together. This is TMI reporting, 5/23/2013, Mallorea and Milograd.


TMI Reporting
About TMI: The Mallorean Inquirer is a news service based out of the UDL forums, run by me. Topics range from interviews, opinion articles, to recurring segments such as "Bugging Mahaj".
Interview With Jamie Anumia, Lame Duck Delegate of TNP

TMI Reporters managed to secure a brief interview with Jamie Anumia, the current Delegate of what reporters say is the low hanging fruit of the feeder regions.

<Mall> Alright this is TMI coming to you live from Jamie Anumia's sex palace in TNP. Jamie it's a pleasure to be here today, in every sense of the word.

<Mall> So Jamie, what would you say brought you into TNP to begin with?

<Jamie> I'd say..curiosity, really. I'd never really got properly involved in a feeder and wanted to see what the community was like so chose to join one, the one I happened to choose was TNP.

<Mall> What was your R/D affiliation when you initially joined TNP? And to what extent do you think your affiliation has had an impact (if any) upon your time here?

<Jamie> I'm honestly not 100% sure what my afflication was at the time. But, to be honest, I can't I let it effect my time in TNP
<Jamie> much, if at all.
<Jamie> I just usually viewed TNP as somewhere where I had to put my other afflications aside and enjoy TNP for what it was.

<Mall> What would you say has been your greatest success as delegate of TNP?

<Jamie> I'd say without a doubt it has been our foreign affairs successes. We've made great strides in strengthening our relations with our existing allies as well as being able to gain new valued allies, in the form of Balder and Europeia, who I view as a valued partner to TNP as well as being a strong and respected region in itself.

<Mall> What has been the lowest moment for you as Delegate of TNP? As a related and possibly a question with the same answer, what would you list as your greatest failure during your term as delegate?

<Jamie> Hmm. Tough question. I feel I could have been slightly more active than I was. But my failure is really understimating the amount of work that goes into being a GCR delegate, and I feel my lack of experience let me down to a point. I just don't feel my term was as strong as it could have been.

<Mall> Were you surprised by the amount of turmoil during your term in other GCRs? Specifically the coups of TSP and Osiris?

<Jamie> Yes and no, really. It seems to me that events such as coups come in waves, while I will admit I was suprised during the TSP coup, I felt less shocked by the Gatesville coup in Osiris, since I started to see that such events tend to happen close together. It's probably coicedance, but..interesting nonetheless.

<Mall> Some readers will speculate from your various typos that you have been drinking heavily throughout this morning. Is that the case?

<Jamie> No. I don't drink. Just I'm bad at typing when tired. :P

<Mall> Is there anything you'd like to tell outsiders (specifically the UDL since this is put on their forums) about TNP that you think they may not know?

<Jamie> Not that I can think of.

<Mall> Last question for now Jamie: do you think that Durk will ever manage to get his hands on TNP's delegacy again to complete the trifecta of coups?

<Jamie> Not while I'm around.
<Jamie> And while I will no longer be delegate shortly, doesn't mean I'm going to allow anyway to do what Durk did again.

<Mall> Thank you for your time Jamie, it's been an absolute pleasure.

<Jamie> No problem. Thanks for the interview. :)

TMI Reporting
About TMI: The Mallorean Inquirer is a news service based out of the UDL forums, run by me. Topics range from interviews, opinion articles, to recurring segments such as "Bugging Mahaj".
Interview with Treize Dreizehn, Pharaoh in Exile of Osiris

TMI Reporters intercepted Treize on his way to a military parade within Douria. After being blindfolded, spun around in circles, and awkwardly led into a dimly lit room, our reporter came out with this interview.
[19:49] <Mall> Coming to you from the bowels of the nation of Douria, I'm here with Treize_Dreizehn. Treize a pleasure to be with you today.

[19:49] <Treize_Dreizehn> A pleasure to be here. As always.
[19:49] <Treize_Dreizehn> Wait Douria has bowels?
[19:49] <Treize_Dreizehn> Oh shit.
[19:50] * Treize_Dreizehn looks around
[19:50] <Treize_Dreizehn> It does.
[19:50] <Treize_Dreizehn> This place is disgusting. Perfect place for an interview.

[19:51] <Mall> Things I never anticipated to learn in this interview... Alright so several months ago we conducted an interview, following your ascent to the delegacy after the resignation of Madjack. Clearly a few things have happened since then. So here is the most obvious question: why did you do what you did in Osiris?

[19:51] <Treize_Dreizehn> Cause I thought it would be funny.
[19:51] <Treize_Dreizehn> Honestly, it's as simple as that.
[19:52] <Treize_Dreizehn> I know, I know. People want something more. They always do. The persona I crafted for them would've had a better reason. I don't.
[19:52] <Treize_Dreizehn> The people in regional governments take themselves far far too seriously. I felt like upsetting their applecart not to steal the apples, but just to make a mess.
[19:53] <Treize_Dreizehn> Worked pretty well I think.

[19:53] <Mall> A perfectly valid reason in my professional opinion. Given everything that has happened, how satisfied are you with the events that transpired?

[19:54] <Treize_Dreizehn> Pretty satisfied. I would've been happier with a few things happening a little differently, there's always room for improvement in the megalomaniacal dictatorship business. But to be perfectly frank, everything that happened exceeded my wildest expectations.
[19:54] <Treize_Dreizehn> So really, it was only after seeing just how successful it was, that I realized I ought to have dreamed bigger.

[19:55] <Mall> Do you think that you will ever find yourself in the delegate's seat in another sinker or potentially a feeder?

[19:57] <Treize_Dreizehn> Not as Treize, no. I'm not entirely sure I have the patience to build up yet another persona, and run with it. This time around was excruciating, spending days interacting with folks that I despised, sharing inside jokes, sharing their interests.
[19:58] <Treize_Dreizehn> That said, I haven't ducked out of international politics completely. I could see myself behind a feeder, but that would take a much larger time and energy commitment.
[19:58] <Treize_Dreizehn> A sinker would be simpler and easier, but it may be a while before they let a relative unknown work his way up their ranks again.

[19:59] <Mall> I'm sure readers would be thrilled to see you make another run. Now many in Osiris have shifted a large amount of the blame towards AO following your coup. To what extent is it entirely Kenny's fault?

[20:00] <Treize_Dreizehn> Man. I'm sure Kenny will kill me for saying this but honestly none of it. I played the part of dutiful leader to everyone. Hell you oughta know, how many times did you bring up the idea of couping and I shot you down?
[20:00] <Treize_Dreizehn> It wasn't just you.
[20:00] <Treize_Dreizehn> Until I was ready to move, the only one who knew my true intentions was me.
[20:00] <Treize_Dreizehn> It's easier to keep your lies straight if you tell the same one to everyone, after all.

[20:01] <Mall> Oh I must have brought it up dozens of times. So would you then agree (yes I am asking a leading question) that any rage that some Osirans have towards AO is misdirected?

[20:01] <Treize_Dreizehn> Sure, but who the hell cares?
[20:01] <Treize_Dreizehn> AO doesn't shirk away from international hatred.
[20:01] <Treize_Dreizehn> We bask in it, we glory in it.
[20:02] <Treize_Dreizehn> Hell, one of my Osiris forum accounts I've been keeping active saw that Osiris is spearheading an effort to repeal/replace AO originating legislation. Which is fucking hilarious.
[20:02] <Treize_Dreizehn> Well, spearheading may be a... weak term.

[20:02] <Mall> I for one enjoyed being yelled at in #osiris following a brief visit during your coup. At the time I did not in fact know you had couped. To what extent do you think GR is attempting to use Osiris as a tool in that effort?

[20:03] <Treize_Dreizehn> I don't know, or care. I'm hoping against hope they try to follow through on it.
[20:03] <Treize_Dreizehn> It will be glorious.
[20:03] <Treize_Dreizehn> The only worry I have is that they may let this like many initiatives fall by the wayside.
[20:03] <Treize_Dreizehn> That would be disappointing.

[20:03] <Mall> Indeed. Who would you say was your greatest asset during the coup besides Durk?

[20:04] <Treize_Dreizehn> Durk took over during the coup. I did all the set up work, he did almost all of the post-coup work.
[20:04] <Treize_Dreizehn> So saying he was my greatest asset would be misleading.
[20:05] <Treize_Dreizehn> I have a hatred for GP mechanics that is really very deep.
[20:05] <Treize_Dreizehn> But I love fucking with people.

[20:05] <Mall> Greatest asset besides yourself of course. In terms of setting up/sustaining the coup.

[20:05] <Treize_Dreizehn> GV was a great help, obviously.
[20:06] <Treize_Dreizehn> But that's not what I meant. I mean that once the coup started, I was mostly a bystander. I committed a WA to it and went to play Dwarf Fortress. ;)
[20:06] <Treize_Dreizehn> Put out a couple of inflammatory things, helped out with the Usiris government, but mostly I just enjoyed the time off.
[20:06] <Treize_Dreizehn> It was hell for Osiris and a vacation for me.

[20:06] <Mall> Do you find Dwarf Fortress to be amusing or horribly stressful and difficult?

[20:06] <Treize_Dreizehn> Oh.
[20:07] <Treize_Dreizehn> Well, I have a fortress running on my main PC that is successful, the King just moved in... and it's been running for about 20 years or so.
[20:07] <Treize_Dreizehn> I had my second bout with the Clothpocalypse, where the clothing rots away over time, but I managed to overcome it.
[20:08] <Treize_Dreizehn> Honestly, it's my first successful fortress(I'm pretty sure I can hold it up for good)...
[20:08] <Treize_Dreizehn> But it's getting boring.

[20:08] <Mall> A valiant effort to be sure. As a closing question, is there anything you'd like to say to the readers that you felt hasn't already been widely expressed regarding your coup or anything else?

[20:08] <Treize_Dreizehn> Don't forget to be awesome.

[20:09] <Mall> Very well said indeed. Treize it was a pleasure, and I hope your NS career continues to expand.

TMI Reporting
About TMI: The Mallorean Inquirer is a news service based out of the UDL forums, run by me. Topics range from interviews, opinion articles, to recurring segments such as "Bugging Mahaj".
 
Interview with Karpathos, Fluffy Teddybear and All Around Nice Guy

TMI reporters stumbled upon a heavily intoxicated and confused Karpathos lingering in the #gameplay channel, screaming incoherently.

[01:30] <Mall> Coming to you from a basement located somewhere in central Russia I'm here with Karpathos, noted gameplayer and troublemaker. Karpathos, thank you for coming.

[01:30] <Karpathos> Thanks for having me.
[01:30] <Karpathos> prick
[01:30] <Karpathos> sorry, I sneezed

[01:31] <Mall> The pleasure is entirely mine douchebag. For our less educated readers (this is a UDL audience primarily) could you explain your humble beginnings here in nationstates?

[01:34] <Karpathos> I'd be glad to, asshole. I first founded a nation in 2003 and let it CTE. I decided to try again a few months later and went to Greece. This is where I first became active in GP. Greece was a member of the ADN then and got raided very frequently. When I became President, I decided to pull out of the ADN (like your mom) for the benefit of the region. I then found my way to the Pacific as an ambassador from Greece and eventually decided to sta
[01:34] <Karpathos> a citizen in the PRP.

[01:35] <Mall> Very informative. Do you expect the Pacific to go the way of Greece now that you are something of a free agent?

[01:37] <Karpathos> I doubt it. The Pacific is a bastion of stability in a sea of chaos. 10 years is a feat that can only seen in The Pacific and in an Osirans wet dream.

[01:39] <Mall> Players have noted that you have a distinctly aggressive and at times abrasive style of play. At what point in your NS career did you first begin to be a dick?

[01:40] <Karpathos> Probably around the same time they all became pussies.

[01:40] <Mall> And which group would you identify as the single largest target for your dickery?

[01:40] <Karpathos> Oh wow.
[01:40] <Karpathos> Well, it's hard to say
[01:41] <Karpathos> Would you like a complete list?

[01:41] <Mall> I'm sure the readers would love one.

[01:41] <Karpathos> In no particular order, I hate the following equally:
[01:44] <Karpathos> Osiris, Balder, TSP, TNI, Europeia, Kantrias, Albion, Balder, Osiris, The Black Hawks, The Black Riders, NES, Rachel Anumia, Cormac Stark, Tim, Skydip, Balder, Osiris, Rachel Anumia, NES, LKE, LWU, Blue Wolf, Unkown, GB&I, CrazyGirl, Ballotonia, the whole mod and admin team, Max Barry, Osiris, Balder, Ainur, Mall, Jakker, Asta, r3n, and....
[01:44] <Karpathos> I'm forgetting the last 50
[01:44] <Karpathos> but those are the top ones
[01:44] <Karpathos> oh and anyone with "YOLO" as a motto

[01:46] <Mall> An impressive list. Would you say that there are any players who you do not hate?

[01:46] <Karpathos> Myself, AMOM, Feux, Milograd, Aperi, Tetrapolis, Warpathos, Trollathos, and Lorrous
[01:47] <Karpathos> They're the best players in the game

[01:47] <Mall> Roughly how many of those names are other aliases for you?

[01:48] <Karpathos> 6
[01:48] <Karpathos> My other nations are spies in the regions I listed above
[01:48] <Karpathos> The spies
[01:48] <Karpathos> The ones I hate*

[01:49] <Mall> Your dedication to hatred is inspiring. Recently you've taken a hard line against the Imperialist sphere, particularly TNI. Care to explain?

[01:50] <Karpathos> Yes. The imperialist (Imp from hereon out) menace is one that must be eradicated. They are subhuman, smelly, unintelligent, ugly, and bad dressers. This is a plague that must be eradicated immediately.

[01:51] <Mall> Who do you believe to be the worst offender of the bunch?

[01:51] <Karpathos> Oh wow, just one?

[01:52] <Mall> Yes, if you could DOS a single player from that group, which would you choose?

[01:53] <Karpathos> I'd have to say NES. I've seen his offender registration when he briefly moved to The Pacific. He had to send out a TG to all his neighbors you see. He is an insidious brit with bad teeth, improper spelling (he puts "U"'s in the oddest words), and he farts quite often.
[01:53] <Karpathos> I'd love to DOS him so I can focus on Rachel Anumia's DOS

[01:53] <Mall> If you could have one wish to be fulfilled in NS, with no limitations, what would it be?

[01:55] <Karpathos> I wish JAL's internet would cut out and never come back again.
[01:55] <Karpathos> ever

[01:57] <Mall> And as a closing, is there anything you'd like to say directly to the readers? Any piece of wisdom or advice you'd like to impart on them?

[01:58] <Karpathos> No. I'm sure they're all idiots and any advice I give would be wasted.

[01:59] <Mall> You are almost certainly correct. Karpathos, as always it was simply painful dealing with you. I'm sure the future holds great things for your talents.

(That asshat walked out)

TMI Reporting
About TMI: The Mallorean Inquirer is a news service based out of the UDL forums, run by me. Topics range from interviews, opinion articles, to recurring segments such as "Bugging Mahaj".
May 2 2014
Where'd All the Good People Go?
An open letter from the head of TMI to the UDL

The United Defenders League has all but disappeared from NationStates. What was once the preeminent defender organization in the game has died a silent death, the death of inactivity. There are a number of possible explanations for this death, and what follows will not be an exhaustive list. Additionally there is the undeniable fact that multiple factors have played into the death of the once impressive UDL, so the focus of this letter will be to explain to you the main reason that this organization has crumbled. It seems somewhat silly to write a letter to an organization that I have just deemed to be kaput, but hey this sure beats writing that essay on Barrington Moore that I have to do tonight.

Possibility One: It is impossible for defender groups to survive in the current gameplay climate.

If I had to guess, I would say that this is the explanation that you guys would turn to in order to explain the collapse. I could be wrong, but I know that some of you think this. I've heard the argument, that piling destroyed the game because it made it impossible for defenders to liberate regions and that tag raiding is evil. Not everyone who believes that piling broke the game thinks that tag raiding is evil, and vice versa. Here are my problems with this hypothesis:
  • First it's pretty clear that tag raiding is not the problem. Tag raiding is an opportunity for activity, both via defending regions and detagging. TBR have tag raided so frequently and in such quantities that at this point you have endless opportunities to be active.
  • Why is piling a problem? Because defenders can't get enough updaters. How do you get updaters? You need to get people to join. How do you do that? You recruit. What hasn't the UDL been doing? Recruiting. Are liberations the only way that raids can be defeated? No. Raids can be prevented. But how can we prevent raids? Jakker, before he left the game, noted that he was tempted to become a defender just because of how poor the general Defender methodology was.
  • It is true that the UDL is not the only Defender group to fall apart. Some in Mordor moved to Spiritus, which ceased defending but that was due to severe internal struggles which removed a degree of Spiritus' capacity to defend.

Possibility Two: The efforts of external forces have crippled the UDL and defeated it.

Unless someone reveals themselves to be a brilliant DEN or TITO operative who has sabotaged the UDL, I'll dismiss this. I don't think anyone took you guys down from the inside. Besides yourselves. Which brings us finally to...

Possibility Three: The leadership of the UDL has failed. (The "It's all Mahaj's fault" hypothesis)

Here it is folks. I attributed many of the problems in possibility one to failures of methodology, such as a failure to recruit. Where does the blame for this belong? At the feet of the leadership of the organization. As I write this letter I see the following on Mahaj's forum profile: Last Activity Date Apr 20 2014, 03:36 PM

Need I say more? I will, even though I don't need to. Unibot was a divisive leader of this organization. However you cannot deny that he kept the UDL active. Movie nights, constant updates on the forums (the UDL thread is basically dead, and there haven't been updates in a looooooooong time), him actually being online and talking. All of these things kept the UDL alive and relatively healthy. Then Mahaj was elected and the entire thing went to shit. No new game mechanics were introduced. Raiders didn't change anything they were doing. No master spy entered the UDL besides Douria and that wasn't for very long.

The responsibility to keep the UDL active and recruiting is the Chief of the Band's. If the COB does not do his job, the organization fails unless there is herculean effort from underlings. There was not. Now to be fair, this shows that the Lieutenants and other officers share some of the blame. They do. I don't know that I can fault those who voted for Mahaj. I don't remember if he was able to make major updates at the time of the conclave. If not then I absolutely blame the voters 100%. However Mahaj had been relatively active and around for a long time, he was not an insane choice. Sadly, however, it turns out he was the wrong choice.

I urge the UDL to have a new conclave, select a new Chief, and become active again. Alternatively, throw in the towel and admit that it's over.
Bugging Mahaj

This is a new segment concept that I think will go very far.

Facts learned about Mahaj:
  • Mahaj considered himself to be a good raider,
  • Mahaj has boring sexual preferences is one sick bastard,
  • Mahaj apparently gets blackout drunk following failed liberations,
  • Mahaj <3's Liz,
  • Mahaj <3's women Frattastan,
  • Mahaj hates democracy,

[17:23] <Mall> MAHAJ
<Mahaj> yo

<Mall> Your turn to get interviewed.
<Mall> Sit down and shut up, answer my questions in turn, everything gets published. Any questions before we start?
<Mall> MAHAJ

<Mahaj> er okay i'm ready

<Mall> Alright. What would you say brought you into the UDL?

<Mahaj> Unibot recruited me. I was already defending so he brought me in to defend with the UDL

<Mall> As the youngest member of the UDL, to what extent are you bothered by the "Mahaj is 12" joke?

<Mahaj> I'm not the youngest member of the UDL

<Mall> Roughly where do you then fall in the age spectrum of the UDL?

<Mahaj> I'm not sure.

<Mall> What was your proudest moment in the UDL? What was your least proud moment?

<Mahaj> My proudest moment was when I organized a lib from start to finish, from getting people to triggering and ordering, and we succeeded.

<Mall> Which liberation was that?

<Mahaj> I'm not sure what my least proud moment is. I try to block them out.
<Mahaj> that was The Crimson Dawn against Bri

<Mall> We all know that I was like an older brother to you during my time in the UDL. For example I tried to talk you out of annoying Sedge in that one region, when your nation got DEAT. If you could go back in time and say anything to me the night before I switched, what would it be?

<Mahaj> I don't know. I'd like to think I'd have tried to save your soul, but at the same time you were pretty insistent on going down this path.

<Mall> To what extent did your inability to successfully raid result in your switch to defending?

<Mahaj> None, I was able to successfully raid. Raiding is the easy way of gameplaying.

<Mall> Keeping that in mind, does that mean then that all defenders are masochists?

<Mahaj> no

<Mall> Are some defenders masochists?

<Mahaj> maybe

<Mall> Now for the new segment I'm entitling, "Hey we really didn't need to know that", first question: are you a masochist?

<Mahaj> no

<Mall> Are you a sadist?

<Mahaj> no

<Mall> Roughly how many times have you regretted agreeing to this interview during this interview?

<Mahaj> many
<Mahaj> i have two tests tomorrow

<Mall> Really? What are the tests on?

->> Socket Error: 10053 : Connection is aborted due to timeout or other failure (Server)

<Mall> Fucking piece of shit computer fuck god fucking damn it

*Connection Reestablished*

<Mall> net cut out
<Mall> what was your answer?

<Mahaj> math and spanish

<Mall> Nice nice. So I was in NV like a month ago. Didn't really think of you though.

<Mahaj> heh

<Mall> Also this is going to be a new feature in my news outlet.
<Mall> "Bugging Mahaj"

<Mahaj> heh

<Mall> Unban me from #udl

<Mahaj> no

<Mall> Mahaj thank you for your time, I can't wait to hear viewer comments on your views regarding race and gender in NS. Until next time!

<Mahaj> thanks?
<Mall> hai

<Mahaj> hi

<Mall> so the udl wants to know more about your sexual preferences apparently.

<Mahaj> uh
<Mahaj> female

<Mall> tall or short?

<Mahaj> [REDACTED]
<Mahaj> [REDACTED]
<Mahaj> [REDACTED]
<Mahaj> [REDACTED] thats off the record
<Mahaj> i'd say about my height, and i'm kinda short :p

<Mall> I'll redact that part don't worry.
<Mall> Can't have everyone thinking you're [REDACTED].

<Mall> What is the first thing you look for in a woman?

<Mahaj> (be back in a moment, [REDACTED] flaring up, gotta reapply [REDACTED])
<Mahaj> okay back
<Mahaj> so are we talking about assuming i know much about the person, or that i don't know the person at all?

<Mall> You are just meeting this person.

<Mahaj> there's a bunch of things, i guess
<Mahaj> general attractiveness i guess

<Mall> And what is the most important personality feature you would want in a woman?

<Mahaj> i guess just being excited about things

<Mahaj> intelligence is great too but its not as great if you're not excited about the things you're smart about

<Mall> General enthusiasm you'd say?
<Mahaj> yeah

<Mall> Last question, if you could marry any current NS player, ignoring gender, who would you marry?

<Mahaj> i don't know

<Mahaj> well if thats all, i need to sleep

<Mall> You didn't answer.
<Mall> You need to pick a player.

<Mahaj> i don't know

<Mall> I WANT THE TRUTH

<Mahaj> fine i guess maybe liz

<Mall> Is that the one from osiris?

<Mahaj> yeh

<Mall> Adorable. Alright, thanks Mahaj.

<Mahaj> bye
[12:30] <Mall> *pokes*
[12:30] <Mall> my readers have demanded more "bugging mahaj" segments

[12:31] <Mahaj> PLS
[12:31] <Mahaj> fine

[12:31] <Mall> so i think they want to know more about your sex life
[12:32] <Mall> so tell us: do you have a sex life?

[12:32] <Mahaj> in my life i am male
[12:32] <Mahaj> which is technically a sex

[12:33] <Mall> so you'd say then that you have a sex life insofar as you identify as one of the "traditional" binary sex groups?

[12:33] <Mahaj> perhaps

[12:34] <Mall> on a scale of the UDL to TBR, how busy have you been the past couple of days?

[12:34] <Mahaj> busy
[12:34] <Mahaj> so UDL

[12:35] <Mall> I think you failed to understand the scale but I'll let that slide. If you had to be handcuffed to any one NS player for the day, who would you pick?

[12:40] <Mahaj> um
[12:40] <Mahaj> idk pass

[12:43] <Mall> never heard of him. if you could become the founder of any ucr in the game which would you choose?

[12:44] <Mahaj> The South
[12:44] <Mahaj> oh

[12:47] <Mall> Some who read this will say that you lack a sense of humor, what would you say to them?

[12:52] <Mahaj> i'd say they're dumb
[12:53] <Mahaj> but tbh the people criticizing me are probably dumb anyway

[12:56] <Mall> so keeping in mind that these people are probably udl soldiers since I post this exclusively on the UDL site, do you have anything else to say to your troops?

[12:56] <Mahaj> tell them to keep their heads up, and to check out the Administration Section of the forum for an important thread

[12:57] <Mall> are you holding another conclave?

[12:57] <Mahaj> no

[12:58] <Mall> do you hate democracy?

[12:58] <Mahaj> no

[12:58] <Mall> do you think the UDL should be run via democratic principles?

[12:59] <Mahaj> it is

[12:59] <Mall> doe the udl have regular elections?

[12:59] <Mahaj> 0yes
[12:59] <Mahaj> * yes

[13:00] <Mall> how many elections has the udl had in its history?

[13:00] <Mahaj> one
[13:00] <Mahaj> so its pretty regular

[13:01] <Mall> some reading this will think that that was an attempt at humor and conclude that you think democracy is a laughing matter. Do you love democracy?

[13:01] <Mahaj> yes
[13:01] <Mahaj> we've been over this, no
[13:01] <Mahaj> * we've been over this, no?

[13:01] <Mall> so you don't love democracy
[13:01] <Mall> oh
[13:02] <Mall> Well just because you don't hate something doesn't mean you love it
[13:02] <Mall> do you hate frattastan?

[13:02] <Mahaj> no I do love democracy
[13:02] <Mahaj> i just fucking said that holy shit
[13:02] <Mahaj> fratt's alright

[13:02] <Mall> so you don't hate him?

[13:03] <Mahaj> ya

[13:03] <Mall> so you love him?

[13:03] <Mahaj> no

[13:04] <Mall> coming full circle back to your sex life, on a scale of you to JAL how attractive do you find the Italian Stallion, with JAL being the highest.

[13:06] <Mahaj> wut

[13:07] <Mall> it's a simple question

[13:07] <Mahaj> 8

[13:08] <Mall> good to know
[13:08] <Mall> can I come say hi in #udl

[13:08] <Mahaj> sure

[16:21] <Mall> It's time


[16:21] <Mahaj> wut

[16:22] <Mall> It's time for me to bug you so that your lackies gain some enjoyment from their time in the UDL, otherwise they'll lead an open revolt.

[16:23] <Mahaj> lol

[16:23] <Mall> In a fight: Frattastan or Guy?

[16:23] <Mahaj> guy

[16:24] <Mall> If you could be made delegate of any region which would you pick?

[16:24] <Mahaj> whats my endorsement count

[16:24] <Mall> Presumably the highest in the region

[16:24] <Mahaj> i'd hope so

[16:25] <Mall> That's how this game works Mahaj
[16:25] <Mall> jesus christ

[16:25] <Mahaj> true
[16:25] <Mahaj> thats a good question
[16:25] <Mahaj> i think i'd want to choose the region currently under a severe raider occupation
[16:25] <Mahaj> so Osiris

[16:25] <Mall> So the UDL is announcing its intention to lay siege to the democratically elected government of Osiris?

[16:26] <Mahaj> no
[16:26] <Mahaj> > if you could
[16:26] <Mahaj> not > which region will you be delegate of

[16:26] <Mall> So the UDL would do it if it could but acknowledges that it can't?

[16:26] <Mahaj> no

[16:27] <Mall> Moving on then, the readers want to know if you have a significant other

[16:27] <Mahaj> pls

[16:28] <Mall> Is that a yes or a no?

[16:28] <Mahaj> pls
[16:28] <Mahaj> next question lel

[16:28] <Mall> Mahaj the readers demand answers, I'm just the conduit for their bizarre fixation on where your love life is going.

[16:30] <Mahaj> "readers"
[16:30] <Mahaj> if you posted it on the GP forum you might have a claim to readers lol

[16:30] <Mall> While I agree that the UDL forum is essentially dead and probably populated by illiterates I know for a fact that at least two people read this once every couple of months.
[16:31] <Mall> For their sake will you answer the question?

[16:31] <Mahaj> ok
[16:31] <Mahaj> answer is no

[16:32] <Mall> Would you be open to TMI running a "Bachelor" style contest to find you a nice creepy person on the internet to date?

[16:32] <Mahaj> i'll pass but thanks for the offer

[16:33] <Mall> When was the last time the UDL attempted to liberate a raider held region?

[16:34] <Mahaj> shit parents came back i need to unload groceries from car
[16:35] <Mahaj> put questions here or in tg and i'll get to them

[16:35] <Mall> jive turkey
[16:35] <Mall> tell your parents I said hi

[16:54] <Mahaj> pls
 
TNP Speaker Delays Emergency Vote in Violation of the Legal Code, Observers Blame Speaker for Disastrous Lack of Cheer

In an unprecedented move the Speaker of the Regional Assembly has delayed voting on an Emergency declaration by 48 hours from the time that the RA had approved the measure to go to vote. The measure must be expedited per the Legal Code, and voting may last for no more than 3 days. Critics say that the Speaker has undermined the entire region by a lethargic response to the Regional Assembly's attempt to address an ongoing emergency.

The motion has been met thus far with overwhelming support from members of the Regional Assembly who have noticed the distinct lack of Christmas cheer in TNP. Once Thanksgiving ends it is commonly understood that the celebration of Christmas (a holiday devoted to either the birth of Christ or to Hasbro, take your pick) is meant to begin. Christmas music and decorations should immediately be displayed, and cheer must be cultivated before various Grinch-like creatures swoop in to ruin the fun.

A few Grinches have already been spotted in TNP's RA attempting to quash the joy and celebration that is meant to be experienced by implicating that the real life happiness of players is secondary to the right to control the text fields in an online nation simulator. TMI will continue to provide updates as the situation worsens.

TMI Reporting

About TMI: The Mallorean Inquirer is a news service based out of the North Pacific's forums, run by me. Topics range from interviews, opinion articles, to recurring segments such as "Bugging Mahaj".
 
SillyString:
omg.

bugging mahaj is the best thing ever.

when will you release another installment!?
He's cleverly hiding himself somewhere, but his tiny 12 year old brain can't match my towering intellect. I'll bring back the the segment asap.
 
Mall:
SillyString:
omg.

bugging mahaj is the best thing ever.

when will you release another installment!?
He's cleverly hiding himself somewhere, but his tiny 12 year old brain can't match my towering intellect. I'll bring back the the segment asap.
Makes me want to dig through some old IRC logs of mine back when he hung out in #capitalistparadise
 
TNP's Court Doesn't Know What "Emergency" Means, Increases Lag on the RA's Ability to Frolic by 100%

In a remarkable decision today TNP's Court has decided to accept a request for review of a part of the Legal Code despite the fact that the Court has already decided this exact issue previously. This request comes in response to a motion currently before the RA which was the subject of a previous report by TMI. The Speaker of TNP has hinted that the voting may continue as scheduled since the Court's restriction merely blocks counting the votes rather than holding the vote itself. Critics of the Court point out that forcing the RA to wait 5 days (realistically 6 since the Court will need to analyze the briefs submitted to it) to declare an emergency is exactly the kind of boneheaded thing that all of NS expects to see from TNP's Court.

While the Speaker may no longer be considered to be a true Grinch, the number of Grinches in TNP has now expanded to include the Judiciary, a worrying development. As the Christmas spirit is slowly sucked from the region there can be little doubt that the smug faces of the various Grinches are staring eagerly at the Court, expecting it to finally sterilize the region of all joy and merriment.

TMI Reporting
About TMI: The Mallorean Inquirer is a news service based out of the North Pacific's forums, run by me. Topics range from interviews, opinion articles, to recurring segments such as "Bugging Mahaj".
 
TNP Delegate Nominee Calls Opponent "Incompetent", Says No Nations Except Prior Delegates Should Ever Be Elected

In a stunning and provocative statement earlier today TNP Delegate Nominee Lord Ravenclaw stated that TNP'ers who run for public office but have not yet achieved the delegate position are incompetent. Lord Ravenclaw failed to answer questions from a citizen of TNP and instead chose to lash out at his opposition and most TNP'ers. It is interesting to note that the questions which Lord Ravenclaw refused to answer were simply whether he respects his opponent Gladio, the NPA, and whether or not he believes others should be given a turn to be Delegate. When given a chance to rescind his inflammatory remark Lord Ravenclaw refused to do so. It seems that by refusing to answer, Lord Ravenclaw as indeed told us all we need to know.

More on this story as it develops.

TMI Reporting
About TMI: The Mallorean Inquirer is a news service based out of the North Pacific's forums, run by me. Topics range from interviews, opinion articles, to recurring segments such as "Bugging Mahaj".
 
TNP RA Given Unprecedented Opportunity to Hold Officials Accountable and Encourage Court Functionality: "No Thanks" Says RA

In an unprecedented act nearly two weeks ago respected TNP Citizen Mall brought to the RA a motion to recall the three Temporary Hearing Officers who went incommunicado following their failure at the incredibly difficult task of sticking to the time-line which they themselves stated. The Court of TNP is widely regarded as a laughing stock in NS due to its utter inability to give coherent rulings on requests for review and the fact that it has never brought to justice any significant criminal besides the UDL spy Ravania. Commentators had hoped that this was the moment that TNP would boldly declare that it would no longer tolerate gross incompetence, but the RA appears to have declared that it will not stray from its dedication to the Court's sheer brain numbing dysfunction.

Below is an interview with Regressive Party Chairman Mall, the individual who started this debate by initiating the recall attempt.

TMI: Mall, a pleasure to be here with you.

Mall: Likewise.

TMI: Let's get right down to it, how do you view this action by the RA of TNP?

Mall: It warms my heart really. Deep down I think everyone belongs to the Regressive Party, and this is just showing that. TNP has a rare chance to show NS and its own officials that we expect at least some minimum standard of behavior from them, and the RA has gloriously rejected that chance in favor of encouraging all officials to immediately stop doing work and just chilling.

TMI: Could you delve a little deeper into what you mean by saying that everyone belongs to the Regressive Party?

Mall: Sure. Buried deep down in everyone is the desire to have a little fun. Now the vast majority of players in this region reject that desire and try to replace it with notions of patriotism or loyalty to TNP. In reality they aren't filling the void that couping could fill for them. The simple fact of the matter is that no one, and I mean no one, is going to remember a single player who just serves their term and does their job. We remember the coupers, the glorious individuals who decided that this is just a game so why not have a little fun? These are dark times for TNP, there is no doubt that the region is as stale and boring as it has ever been. All we need is one Delegate to decide to have fun, and everyone else will get to have the fun of leading a countercoup! Or maybe someone can countercoup, and then not actually put this forum government back into place! Hell, you could make your own forum! Go wild!

TMI: You're frothing at the mouth.

Mall: Sorry, I just get a bit worked up when I think about the possibility of someone actually having fun in this region.

TMI: Mall I'm afraid we're out of time, anything else you'd like to say to the viewers?

Mall: Heroes get remembered, but legends never die. Coup a region, you can never go wrong.

TMI Reporting
About TMI: The Mallorean Inquirer is a news service based out of the North Pacific's forums, run by me. Topics range from interviews, opinion articles, to recurring segments such as "Bugging Mahaj".
 
TMI is announcing that it will host a debate between the candidates for Delegate in this election cycle. More to come as the situation develops.
 
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