Amusing Telegrams

plembobria

plembobria

TNPer
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To whom it may concern,
Kon'nichiwa/Zdravstvuyte/Hello. As the official representative for the Government of The Republic of Ostrovshima, I am writing this telegram to inquire as to why you have decided to vote AGAINST the current World Assembly Resolution (Foreign Patent Act). Please send a detailed response to this question as soon as possible, preferably within the next hour.
Thank you,
Miroslav Nakajima
Foreign Minister of The Republic of Ostrovshima
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Good evening,
I am contacting you in to reference your reasoning in casting your vote AGAINST the current GA proposal at vote. Because of your 1,255 endorsements, your vote can sway the voting away from where it should be.
Currently, voting is 8222-7985 in favor of the resolution. However, voting by individual nations is 3748-2857 in favor; an overwhelming majority of non-delegate member nations. It is fair to assume that the majority of North Pacific voters have also voted for the resolution. This should be considered as you vote.
You are the most powerful nation in the WA. You should not use this power lightly. You can easily sway any vote in your direction. Even if the popular vote is not aligned with your views, they should be considered. Otherwise, the WA could be controlled by a powerful few.
I appreciate your timely response.
Respectfully,
Peter Evangelisti
Ambassador of New Villanova to the World Assembly
Chairman of the Council of Policy Advisers
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Funny thing is, TNP is 70% against the resolution...

Also, I expect a fully detailed reply to this post detailing how great dragons are within the next few minutes. I expect several paragraphs averaging four sentences each, with each of those averaging twenty words and 1.6 clauses.
 
Oh yay. More people that say because TNP's power is so great we should vote the way the world does regardless of how TNP feels. :eyeroll:
 
Praetor:
Oh yay. More people that say because TNP's power is so great we should vote the way the world does regardless of how TNP feels. :eyeroll:
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Delegates are really the Electoral College! Or worse, those yucky super delegates.

Great Bights Mum:
What, no bribes?
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I know right? Send me some stamps, and then we'll talk!

Dear sir:
I wish that my fellow country men would recognize me as THE CAPTAIN CRUNCH. I merely request you to send one mass telegram to your current region. This telegram will be free, because of your regional influence. I beg of you to do this in the name of goodwill.
Best regards,
Captain Crunch.
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You are quite a nice nation, and you were very polite in your telegram. (removed identification) However, I am perplexed by the need for a RMB guardian. Couldn't you just let nations post whatever they want? This region is a democracy, as your motto states, and a key principle of democracy is the right of free speech. If this region is a real democracy, you would let nazis post their hate messages on the RMB, even though they may be repulsive to you. The opinion that nazisim is evil is after all, an opinion, and different nations hold different opinions. You may think nazisim is evil, but another nation may think it is the most beautiful message ever. You cannot subject the minority to the opinions of the majority, and nowhere is that more apparent than the right of free speech.
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:unsure:
 
Praetor:
You are quite a nice nation, and you were very polite in your telegram. (removed identification) However, I am perplexed by the need for a RMB guardian. Couldn't you just let nations post whatever they want? This region is a democracy, as your motto states, and a key principle of democracy is the right of free speech. If this region is a real democracy, you would let nazis post their hate messages on the RMB, even though they may be repulsive to you. The opinion that nazisim is evil is after all, an opinion, and different nations hold different opinions. You may think nazisim is evil, but another nation may think it is the most beautiful message ever. You cannot subject the minority to the opinions of the majority, and nowhere is that more apparent than the right of free speech.
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:unsure:
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:eyebrow:
 
Rocatanga:
HI, I already endorse you but like I told to the other country I think you a morron, nothing personal I just checked your bio and stats you're one of those ignorants who bealive in socialism or whatever, I wish you could live a couple years in socialist country and checked that out for yourself to see how the real deal is...
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:shrug:
 
Greetings Plembobria,
I am writing to inform you that I have no clue what the hell I'm doing
Best regards,
Cilione
 
I'm just sick of having members of our region requesting that all members of the dealegacy be endorsed, when I have already endorsed those who requested politely. One might think strong nations would not whimper and beg like a dog for endorsement, which the only good thing about endorsement is popularity, not a status symbol but a plea for "look in my direction, I'm 'important'" and if I get one more request to "endorse our region" I will remove all endorsements made from my nation. My fellow companions are not begging for endorsement nor am I from them. I play this game for the ploy and pleasure of governing a nation and taking part in a vast spectrum of possibilities, not for leaders of scoreboards asking for _my help_. So that is why, I don't deem it necessary to "help" you any more, not that you care with your now thousands of players endorsing your kingdom. So good day commrad, the only thing I wish to speak about is regional political advances or even role play, but no ploys for you to be beating a game that you can't win.
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Dear Plembobria,
Your perceived power disgusts me and I suggest you step down as leader as soon as possible or your nation will surely parish under the might of my advanced nuclear missiles. You have a choice to make either you vastly lower your civil rights and political freedom and join me in my region or dissapear.
Love,
The Korean Kim Dynasty
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for 230 days you have been the most Fascist, evil Nazi the North Pacific has ever seen. Now we are having an election after your overthrow. Finally, we get a chance at freedom and Democracy. Finally you are banned, finally we are freed
I am running for Vice-Delegate to shake off the shackles of Falangism that you have bought here.
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sorry no f*** your selfs hope you sit on someone and break their bones couch pototo and good luck
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(censoring added by me) At least he said good luck.

We do not negotiate with plebes. We declare war on you.
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One of several declarations of war I received, but the first that attempts to explain why.
 
Dear Pallaith,
Could you please appoint me as vice-delegate of TNP?
I won't let you down, plus Plemboria appointed the
current vice-delegate.
Thanks if you do!
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Imagine if it worked this way...

Hey there buddy, what's the color of you're tooth brush? Mines green.
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Mine's blue.
 
Pallaith:
Dear Pallaith,
Could you please appoint me as vice-delegate of TNP?
I won't let you down, plus Plemboria appointed the
current vice-delegate.
Thanks if you do!
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Imagine if it worked this way...

Hey there buddy, what's the color of you're tooth brush? Mines green.
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Mine's blue.
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These are all important questions you know! The delegate must answer them!
 
Down with corruption!
Down with Cruelty!
Down with The North Pacific!

This is no longer about feeling.
This is about the truth.
I need not your permission to leave.
Though I expect that if I continue to speak out against the government you shall deport me.
Even banish me perhaps?
You wouldn't be able to if the most recent WA bill wasn't shut down.
Though of course, that was all your doing.
I shall expose every last one of you.
And every one of your schemes.
This must be done in order to preserve the freedom of the world.
The WA must be reorganized and renamed.
For it too is corrupt.
Soaked in the blood of those trying desperately for change.
But only running into the massive wall of cruelty that is the current WA.
And who laid that wall's foundation?
You.
Down with corruption!
Down with cruelty!
Down with the North Pacific!
For the glory of the Gap!
For the freedom of the world!

You uncaring, corrupt, selfish, thrice-damned son of a half-blind bastard!
You WILL be destroyed.
You and all your ilk.
It must be done.
It SHALL be done.
For the glory of the Gap!
For the freedom of the world!
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This was 3 successive telegrams with minimal response from me. We get all kinds of interesting, creative people in TNP.
 
As this is our first contact with the outside world, and as we decide our future on the throw of a random 'dice' your are 1 out of 27 and the random number for us to join you is 3 - we will abide by the will of the rng - there may be more than 27 but once all 27 numbers are allocated - fate will decide then if several nations are drawn - we shall draw again, again and again until we become a vassal state or recalcitrant pain in your backside.
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My fingers are crossed.
 
The Region of the North Pacific is dead to me.
Prepare for war like the likes of the North Pacific has never experienced before.
[Redacted]
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I will declare war on you now...
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Lots of war happy people. This was in response to the welcome telegram too.
 
The north pacific is really great but i left because of the name. The north pacific is telling me where mmy country is and i dont like it also 2+2 is 4-1 thats 3
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Well, he's not wrong.
 
I Hate Your NameI Hate Your Name?
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I won't reveal who they are, but I told them it was too bad because I liked theirs. it suggested someone who would be a lot friendlier than that.

PLEASE DO NOT REPLY TO ME EVER AGAIN! IS THAT UNDERSTOOD!?
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It's hard to do that when the person is asking you to confirm you got the message. I said as much in my reply to them.
 
The going-to-be-delegate sent me this trolly telegram.
Troll Telegram:
Hey there, Miedzymorze poland!

Glad to see that you joined the World Assembly! I am writing to you to make sure you are aware of all the new possibilities World Assembly (WA) membership within The North Pacific has opened up to you.

Our region is the best place in NationStates for WA nations. It is no coincidence that we have by far the most WA nations among all regions in the world. You can read here everything you can do as a WA nation in The North Pacific, but here are some highlights:

~ Become a General in the North Pacific Army!
Have you ever noticed that, despite all the cool things this game has, it doesn't have war? Well, it actually does, and you can take part in it with your WA nation. You can learn all about the fascinating aspect of NationStates that is military gameplay by joining the North Pacific Army (NPA). The NPA is one of the strongest and most active militaries in the game, with a tradition of more than a decade in protecting The North Pacific, our allies, and our interests abroad. You can become part of this tradition, and start a military career full of exciting operations, medals and ribbons, and promotions all the way up to General. You can join here: http://forum.thenorthpacific.org/topic/7279690/1/

~ Get yourself one of the biggest endorsement counts in the game!
In The North Pacific, you can collect more endorsements than anywhere else in the game. This is both because we have a lot more WA nations than any other region, and because we are the only large region not to enforce strict endorsement regulations - as long as you have fewer endorsements than our Vice Delegate Siwale, you are fine. Not only that, but we even give you free software tools to help you gather endorsements. Collecting endorsements is one of the best ways to get to know other nations in The North Pacific and make a name for yourself in the region. The larger your endorsement count, the higher your nation will rank in the prestigious World Census, likely higher than most delegates of other regions, and the faster its influence in the region will increase. You can read here all about why and how to collect endorsements.

~ Vote on WA resolutions and determine more than 500 other votes!
As a member of the WA, you can vote on all resolutions that reach the WA floor. You can additionally participate in the threads created by the Ministry of World Assembly Affairs, where we discuss each resolution and vote to determine how our WA Delegate, Pallaith, uses the regional vote. This is by far the strongest regional vote in the game, and by taking part in the Ministry you get to directly influence it yourself - think of it like having 500+ WA votes! You can check out the Ministry here: http://forum.thenorthpacific.org/forum/39609/

~ Become an expert WA legislator!
As a WA nation, you can draft and submit your own WA proposals, for consideration by the entire NationStates community. To assist you in your legislating efforts, our Ministry of World Assembly Affairs provides you with access to some of the most successful WA authors in all of NationStates. All of these experts volunteer their time to help you learn the ropes of WA legislating and advise you on how to maximize your proposals' chances of success. The Ministry even offers a WA 101 course on resolution writing, which you can check out here: http://forum.thenorthpacific.org/topic/7238830/1/

~ Endorse our WA Delegate and Vice Delegate!
Our WA Delegate, Pallaith represents our region in the WA. The North Pacific already has the strongest regional vote in the WA, and the more endorsements Pallaith has, the more powerful we become! If you are looking for another reason to endorse Pallaith, how about this one: doing so helps protect the region from external threats, and makes our community more secure and stable. And it is even better if you additionally endorse our Vice Delegate, Siwale. It goes without saying that you can expect Pallaith and Siwale to return the favor and endorse you back.

Please feel free to contact me if you have any questions about the above, or about the WA in general. Once again, welcome to the World Assembly!

Best regards,
Gladio
Minister of Defense
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Screw you! One of your best nations forced me to get out! now I'm in a much better clan then you guys, the Pacific! PS: your defence sucks and you don't have a strategy. Nobody is active in your stupid world. U SUCK! Now we (The Pacific) will fight you and make your whole stupid world DEAD Good Luck. Just Joking bro, Your country is quite nice and quite active. But two reasons that I left your world, #1, someone in your world abused me and #2, your defence forces are not as good as ours (The Pacific). So... good luck with your trash world!!!!!!!!! :)

Stay Alive :),
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Hey Gladio II, I did a good ting for you I created a lot of nationa and moved them to the north pacific to vote for you in this election. Now I did this because of the fallowing reasons:
1. You are the most trusted country I know.
2. I think you are fit for the job as leader
3. You helped me when I needed it so I am doing the same back.

Please type back if you have any questions. Peace my friend
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No0t(can you endorse 4 endorse Ugnip? i am a starving penguin with A SERIOUS SHRIMP ADDICTION PLS HELP oh no i am hungry nooo i want shrimp now oh no i cant pay the shrimp oh no i am sad :( if you already got this pls ignore. I am just trying to pay my debt :((( )
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