The Campaign of Lore (V 2.17)

[Just a Lore]

Spoiler: The Man in the Bowler Hat by A.S.J. Tessimond

I am the unnoticed, the unnoticable man:
The man who sat on your right in the morning train:
The man who looked through like a windowpane:
The man who was the colour of the carriage, the colour of the mounting
Morning pipe smoke.

I am the man too busy with a living to live,
Too hurried and worried to see and smell and touch:
The man who is patient too long and obeys too much
And wishes too softly and seldom.

I am the man they call the nation's backbone,
Who am boneless - playable castgut, pliable clay:
The Man they label Little lest one day
I dare to grow.

I am the rails on which the moment passes,
The megaphone for many words and voices:
I am the graph diagram,
Composite face.

I am the led, the easily-fed,
The tool, the not-quite-fool,
The would-be-safe-and-sound,
The uncomplaining, bound,
The dust fine-ground,
Stone-for-a-statue waveworn pebble-round

I am writing you all to explain what this candidacy is about, it is about the under utilization of the bowler hat as a fashionable head wear, especially in this region.

Before are examples of why my bowler hat policy will be flawless.

Spoiler: Men look better shirtless with a bowler hat

Spoiler: So do women who make their dresses out of plastic

Spoiler: The children of chickens look evil masterminds

Spoiler: Little Teddy Bears look fancy

Spoiler: Even skeletons perfer it on a night out of gambling

So that is what my candidacy is all about, I dare you to question my logic.

 

[plembobria]

Interesting plan. But will you make TNP great again?

 

[Flemingovia]

Plemboria, what makes you think we do not currently have greatness?

 

[Syrixia]

You are accused of heresy on three counts -- heresy by thought, heresy by word, heresy by deed, and heresy by action- FOUR counts.

Do you confess?

 

[Deleted User (Guest)]

He confesses. He is so overcome with guilt, shame and dishonour that he is unable to speak on his own behalf.

His last wish was for Flemingovia to bless his remains, after the enchanted bowler hats are finished with him.

 

[Just a Lore]

Syrixia I accuse you of being an american republican presidential candidate my evidence is thus. You lack the ability to count to three or four.

This invalidates any evidence or charge you being against me.

 

[Gladio]

1. What would a Lord Lore delegacy look like ?

2. What makes you better than the rest of the candidates ?

3. When will Half-life 3 be released ?

4. What is the meaning of life ?

 

[Syrixia]

Syrixia I accuse you of being an american republican presidential candidate my evidence is thus. You lack the ability to count to three or four.

This invalidates any evidence or charge you being against me.

 

[Just a Lore]

1. What would a Lord Lore delegacy look like ?

abs and bowler hats. Everyone gets a complimentary six-pack and a free bowler hat.

2. What makes you better than the rest of the candidates ?

I have a monopoly on the bowler hat industry. Can my grand uncle or first cousin once removed say the same thing?

3. When will Half-life 3 be released ?

Never, I accidentally blew up the valve studio where they were producing it to construct another bowler hat factory.

4. What is the meaning of life ?

To look cute while wearing a bowler hat.

 

[Gladio]

I see, before I vote for you I need you to answer a simple test so I can determine how long you'll last before you resign or you get couped

Your boss inspects on what you're doing and finds you playing DOOM Instead of working...

A. Swear to take the game off your hard drive forever, but first make a copy for his kid.

B. Inform him that you're planting a virus in the program so that everyone who plays it on company time will get reported to Human Resources.

C. Tell him that whatever he wants will have to wait until you've finished the level.


There's a better job somewhere else. It pays twice as much as your current position. What do you do?

A. Meekly suggest to your boss that transferring you might improve the morale of everyone who's been working with you.

B. Politely ask your boss for a transfer and offer to split the salary increase 50/50 with him.

C. Attack your boss and demand reassignment so that you, "Won't have to work under someone who should have retired before he became a laughingstock."


When your boss throws a party and invites everyone in the office except you, what do you do?

A. Stay home and watch 'I Love Lucy' reruns.

B. Show up at the party anyway, with a really expensive bottle of wine and a briefcase full of small, unmarked bills.

C. Go over to your bosses house after everyone has left the party and throw rocks at the windows, shouting obscenities.


Your boss criticizes your work unjustly; what do you do?


A. Listen politely, and then apologize.

B. Blame someone else.

C. Make a huge scenery to which you show a message with the word "union."


Your boss asks you to entertain some little kids, what do you do?

A. Offer to play with them and pay any damage they cause, too.

B. Agree to do it, then blackmail a co-worker into doing it while pretending to be you.

C. Agree to do it, then pretend you've been in a terrible accident and that you've recently died.


The boss accuses you of not doing your work; you...

A. Clean start doing the work while he supervises.

B. Tell him that you delegated the job, then fire the underling you supposedly gave the job to.

C. Commit to the job, but this time, you use your boss' face.

 

[plembobria]

BUT WILL YOU MAKE TNP GREAT AGAIN???