Knock Knock (who's there?)

Hello I am sorry but there is currently no one home right now this is a recorded message please leave a message after the who's there

"Who's there"
 
O, politeness bids I allow ye entry,
Lest shame be brought upon I,
Alas, I knoweth not thou intention, nor thou being,
Thus I ask of thee, a request put simply,
Who doth be there?
 
My auditory detection organs have identified that aerial vibrations are originating as a result of perscssuive action involving the nearby entryway. As such I request information on the identify of the individual responsible.
 
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