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mcmasterdonia

Just like a queef in the wind, so is life
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TNP Nation
McMasterdonia
It was the early hours of a Monday morning, Stanley could feel the sun starting to shine through the window above the desk. It wouldn't be long before the smell of roasted coffee beans and the sound of gossiping women would fill the air. Not long after that, his Master would arrive and sit himself down on Cherry. Stanley could tell that Cherry was already priming herself for his arrival, spinning back and forth, and up and down, preparing her body for the days ride.

Of all the days in the week, Monday used to be Stanley's favourite. Master and his Secretary Annie would begin preparing the documents for the week. The firm hand of Master or Annie would direct him between one document and the next, Stanley used to love that part of the day. But now he felt that Monday was the worst of them all. All Master wanted to do was push one piece of paper inside him after another. He no longer gave Stanley the daily polish that he now cried for, the daily grind after more than 5 years in this office was beginning to get too much.

As he sat there, glistening in the sun, Stanley realised that it was time to get the rest of the office into gear for the day ahead. He knew he didn't have to worry about Cherry, Tori, or Old Pappy. But his old friend Ben, and the new computer Hadyn were still fast asleep.

"Okay! Attention Furniture and Stationary, it is time to wake up! The day is about to begin, Master will be here at Seven AM sharp! He will be most displeased if you are not ready to receive him"

The familiar sounds of groans and beeping from Troy filled the office, and Stanley knew - today was shaping up to be just another long and tedious Monday.
 
As Cherry was adjusting her height, to suit Master's preference, she heard Stanley shout his wake-up notice. Cherry liked Stanley because of his positive attitude and his seemingly leader-like personality, but everyone else like Stanley.

Monday was Cherry's favourite day because Master would walk in after two days and comfort her by sitting on her soft, shiny leather which was cleaned every Friday by a man named Harris. She liked the name Harris. Weekends were torture because she was unused and felt rather cold.
 
Marko heard the call to reveille, and was confused. He knew he wasn't Stationary, but one would hardly think to call him Furniture either. In fact, one wouldn't think of him at all. For an object with a big fat mouth, he just sat silently on the floor with nothing at all to say. Maybe that was the way everyone liked it.

And so he did what any good trash can would do. He sat still and waited. He was very good at waiting. So he waited some more. And then he waited -- for good measure. Still waiting...
 
Old Pappy was still snoozing, his pendulum rocking back and forth ever so slowly. He dreamed of that terrible day in 1941, back in Hawaii. His pendulum's rocking began to increase in speed. Suddenly, he saw the bombs in his dream. The corpses. It terrified him.

Suddenly, he woke up with a jolt. His big grandfather clock bell rang seven times. It was seven o'clock. He bid Cherry good morning.

"Ey, little lady, (OOC: He calls every female below his age little lady) what're ya doin up already? I think ya woke me up from muh sleepin's...or was it...that dream again?" (OOC: Cronaal, if Cherry is to talk about the dream make sure she questions it, no one knows about that fateful day in 1941.)
 
Syrixia:
Old Pappy was still snoozing, his pendulum rocking back and forth ever so slowly. He dreamed of that terrible day in 1941, back in Hawaii. His pendulum's rocking began to increase in speed. Suddenly, he saw the bombs in his dream. The corpses. It terrified him.

Suddenly, he woke up with a jolt. His big grandfather clock bell rang seven times. It was seven o'clock. He bid Cherry good morning.

"Ey, little lady, (OOC: He calls every female below his age little lady) what're ya doin up already? I think ya woke me up from muh sleepin's...or was it...that dream again?" (OOC: Cronaal, if Cherry is to talk about the dream make sure she questions it, no one knows about that fateful day in 1941.)
"Oh sorry, maybe I should ask Harris to oil me so I don't squeak. What's this er- dream you speak of?" Cherry asks in a inquisitive tone, just as the sun begins to slowly rise above the towering 'scrapers and and through the middle. The golden, orange sunlight shone onto Cherry in such a beautiful way, almost mesmerizingingly so. She liked it this way, to make sure everyone looked at her and saw how beautiful she was, a little full of herself but she was fine.
 
Tori blinked sleepily at Stanley's wakeup call. Although she had woken with the sun, as she always did (she felt a natural affinity with the much larger light-source), she felt exhausted. She hadn't slept well the night before. The heat had been on the fritz again, and her internal circuits were achy all night.

She adjusted herself. Wiggle. Twitch. Years of practice let her tweak her shade into place without needing to look in a mirror. Cord dangling just so, in easy reach (but not too easy!). Dust motes glared off her base, to settle onto the desk below. Lightbulb fully covered, but alluringly bright when lit.

Ah yes, her lightbulb. Just another muscle to flex, really. She concentrated, and the bulb flicked on. Again, and it darkened. On. Off. It was a good bulb. Wavy and curved, like a little candle flame. Its delicate grace suited her.

Suddenly feeling more cheerful, she settled in to face the day.
 
Old Pappy's voice turns grim.

"I wouldn't like t' say...but I guess I gots to answer muh question...see, do you's knowin' about the Pearl Harbor bombin' in 1941? I was there. Was horrifyin'. Got moved to 'nother office in '72, I think. Got moved here back in '92. But I still remembers muh terror there. I gots me dreamin' bout it."

Old Pappy remembers the pile of corpses and begins to suffer a nervous breakdown.
 
Sitting on the desk, Stanley had an excellent view of the office. He could see that Old Pappy was looking more nervous than ever, he was a friendly old thing, but he was getting very senile in his old age. Just as he was about to call out to Old Pappy, Annie, Master's secretary came bouncing into the room. She was holding a steaming cup of coffee and a paper bag. This was part of the morning routine, Annie, loyal as ever, would come in and place a hot cup of coffee and a croissant on the table for Master, and he would come in barely seconds after. It always amazed Stanley at Annie's perfect timing.

Annie placed the coffee and croissant on the desk, adjusted Haydyn's keyboard, and then bounced back out of the office. Almost immediately after, Master walked in and plonked himself down on Cherry.

Master was a kind man, but he could be a bit short tempered at times. Stanely knew that Master was in a good mood today - he started to type hurriedly on Haydn while whistling to himself.
 
OOC: Seems slightly sexual that Cherry prepares herself daily for a pair of buttocks to sit on her and please her.
 
Suddenly Troy rings. Master picks up the Phone, listens, and his face starts to turn pale. It appears that Master's direct superior wants to see him. Atypical for what was going to be a typical Monday.

Master puts down the Phone, and runs off. Troy refuses to say what was going on, almost as if the meeting was top-secret or something.
 
Old Pappy then proceeds to ask the bookshelves to give him a book.

The Encyclopedia Brittanica falls down in front of Old Pappy. He begins to read so he can forget about Pearl Harbor.

Old Pappy muses the good old days, and then proceeds to spout the usual "back in my day" material.

This time he went on about how once he was in a house, and how he used to always be tuned intricately to keep fine time.

His owner at that time was the owner of the second office he was in. She was a nice old lady, who had no wife or kids or pets and no stuffed animal or pet rock to talk to.

She always talked to Old Pappy. They shared their secrets to each other, they consoled each other when the old lady's friends couldn't. In a weird way, they were pals. Old Pappy called it the "finest example of respect and friendship in the history of us utilities".

"Susan..." Old Pappy slowly said, in the way one does when thinking about a lost friend. Susan died around 1995, and Old Pappy moved to Master's office around 1996.

Old Pappy's fantasies were short lived, though, as he regained focus and stopped daydreaming. It was too late, though. His clock was a couple minutes slow.
 
When Master left, Hadyn became curious. Minimizing the document Master had been working on, Hadyn watched the office. Pappy was muttering to himself, Troy sitting quietly after the call, the coffee patiently sitting and growing cold. Sighing, Hadyn flicked the document back up stared at what had been typed. Same boring work things, same boring Monday files open, same boring e-mails. Flicking open a generic music program, Hadyn began playing generic modern music. The music gave him a new outlook on the office, getting him more awake than he was after Stanley's wake-up call and Master's bland work. The music was quiet enough that only the objects in his immediate area could hear. Hadyn was growing tempted to go louder, but he knew that Master's area wouldn't have that music coming from it, so he kept it to himself for now.
 
Suddenly, Old Pappy's sharp metaphorical inanimate object ears heard the music.

"Ey, Haydn, young feller, could ya find me some Benny Goodman or Frank Sinatra? Tommy Dorsey will do me good too. I do miss muh old tunes."
 
Tori perked up when the smell of coffee wafted past. She always loved this part of the day, when Annie would come sit down to go over the morning's paperwork and give Tori's cord a tug. The pull cord is one of those special spots for a lamp, the spots that make dogs thump their feet, like an itch you can't ever quite reach on your own. And Annie's tugs were better than most.

There she was, right on schedule. Tori nearly wriggled with happiness as Annie sat down - and yes, there it was! The tug. Aaaaahhhh.
 
Troy was good at keeping quiet. Troy was even better at making noises. What Troy hated was being touched.

Being touched.

Master rushed back to his office a few moment after Annie left the room, and immediately started hitting Troy's buttons. Each beep that Troy lets out was a sign of the excruciating pain it felt. But at last, the momentary catharsis that was making noises. Noises of great significance, noises heard by 16 different governments and 127 different corporations.
 
Meanwhile, Old Pappy was still sleeping.

(OOC: Could someone wake him up?)
 
Stanley could see that Old Pappy was sleeping again... Stanley had no patience for laziness around the office, but he made an exception for the crazy old grandfather clock. When Stanley first joined the office, Old Pappy sat with him for hours and told him numerous stories about old paper clips and pencil sharpeners he had known over the years.

*pssssssssssssssst* "Wake up Pappy*!
 
Old Pappy suddenly jerked up and yelled "IT'S TH' BOMBS! GET IN YER'S AIR RAID SHELTERS! IT'S TH' JAPANESE! RUN, RU-"

He stopped and realized he was just startled because he woke up.

"Eh, whut was I sayin"?
 
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